Suggestions on coming out of the closet at the office / Pro and Cons...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2013 4:52 AM GMT
    Hi my new realjock family. I need some help on coming out to people at the office. I am out to my friends and family, as well as any stranger who needs to know. But, I've never come out at the office because I don't want any problems with co-workers.

    I'm thinking my co-workers must be pretty clueless, because I don't actually try to cover for myself and it amazes me that they haven't figured it out. The ladies keep trying to "match" to some girl that they think must be lacking in my life.

    We have an anti-discrimination policy that protects sexual orientation, so, I'm not worried about losing my job. But, like most offices, we of course have that one bitch who is constantly trying to cause trouble and I don't want to give her any amunition. I do want to come out to some of the ladies that I'm fairly close with so that they'll quit finding ladies for me and start looking for some good guys.

    Please give me suggestions on the best way for me to approach this.

    Thank you. Your forum guys are awesome.

    David
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    Sep 25, 2013 5:12 AM GMT
    Stroke SaidI need some help on coming out to people at the office


    Why?..
    I can understand coming out to close acquaintances at work..If and when it comes up..but..

    "EVERYONE!!!" "GUESS WHAT??".."I'M A POLE SMOKER!!"..
    "YEAH BITCHES!!"

    Why do you think the revelation of your sexual orientation at work is so important?
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    Sep 25, 2013 5:40 AM GMT
    Because I'm tired of having to guard what I say around certain people and just grinning when they try to fix me up with someone they know.
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    Sep 25, 2013 5:50 AM GMT
    Wow. Maybe it's just me, but my co-workers are my co-workers. I don't associate with them outside of work or work related activities. I tell them very little about my personal life.
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    Sep 25, 2013 6:14 AM GMT
    xrichx saidWow. Maybe it's just me, but my co-workers are my co-workers. I don't associate with them outside of work or work related activities. I tell them very little about my personal life.


    to a point I would agree but being straight up until I was 25, I always hung around people I clicked with from work, especially the smaller companies, after work darts or pool at the local pub comes to mind, even the larger companies I still keep in touch with ex-coworkers I really cared about and who cared about me, this has made facebook something to use to keep in touch without having to see them in person now that I am out. I have found other gay people 'at the office' are stand-off ish and don't socialize and hang together (like straight people do much more of, esp straight men and their bromances), maybe this is why many of us gay men lack real gay friends? I have a lot of straight friends that I met through a job and still keep in touch with after many years, I cant say that about gay friends who have come and gone through the same number of years, my last job even being associated with the gay employee resource group, not one single close gay friend did I make from that, that I "hang with", again, it is the straight friends that have kept in touch and invite for a get together, this I don't understand

    For you OP, whoever is going to accept you, probably will be some of your straight coworkers, as in out of work experience, the gays are very picky who they chose to 'hang with' even with other gays

    picture this, same workplace and they know each other

    one gay man wears a tie to work everyday
    one gay man wears boots to work everyday

    Do they hang outside of work?, now substitute gay with straight, same answer?
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    Sep 25, 2013 10:26 AM GMT
    I learned to keep my private life to myself when it comes to coworkers. Since they already know more than they should about you, all I can suggest is saying less and less, and hope they back off. Be vague. This assumes you don't hang out outside of work, because if you do, you're too close to not eventually have to indicate gayness.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3529

    Sep 25, 2013 11:30 AM GMT
    "hey ladies, you need to start setting me up with girls with much bigger cocks, if you want me to date them"


    then dont say anything else
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    Sep 25, 2013 12:31 PM GMT
    strokeme220 saidBecause I'm tired of having to guard what I say around certain people and just grinning when they try to fix me up with someone they know.


    I understand..
    Sexuality and the work place can be a slippery slope..
    ..Be true to those who really care about you..
    Whatever you decide ..hopefully it will not compromise your positive experiences in the work place..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 25, 2013 12:38 PM GMT
    Why not invite your co-workers(whom you want to come out with) to some place like a bar to hang out on a weekend and tell them...It's much simpler, right?
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    Sep 25, 2013 3:02 PM GMT
    I think it's none of their business, and you coming out to your co-workers shouldn't change the dynamics in your office. Nonetheless, you will be the topic of discussion for a while, but they'll get over it. If you are ready for the spotlight, and you feel it's necessary, come out to them at a work function when everyone's around so the news doesn't slowly disseminate in the office one by one.

    Your a great guy, I bet you'll have a lot of co-workers in your corner, and you'll feel relieved afterwards. icon_smile.gif