proud?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 24, 2008 9:56 AM GMT
    I dont know...one of my best friends(girl) she is a really nice person but I feel like a freak sometimes...she is like so happy to have a gay friend that i dont even know how to feel about that...she tells me her girl friends are jealous cause she has a gay friend...I dont really know if thats good or not...I feel like Im some kind of weirdo lol Have you ever been in this situation before? Are you happy with the way your girl friends see you?
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    Nov 24, 2008 10:55 AM GMT
    In my group of friends, I am the only gay one. Also the only one with out a relationship. They don't treat me any different or call me "the gay friend", but I do feel outa place at times.
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    Nov 24, 2008 11:20 AM GMT
    Nope, I've never had a woman tell me that. I am much praised by our lesbian friends for being their all-around fix-it guy, though, which always amuses all of us for breaking the stereotypes of the handywoman lesbian and the helpless gay. For that reason my partner sometimes calls me his lesbian. LOL!!!
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Nov 24, 2008 4:25 PM GMT
    ...I don't really have girlfriends. But I find it odd that your friend is so happy to have a gay friend when you live in Toronto. Walk down church st and BOOM - welcome to the gay village. Maybe she's just 'happy' to be YOUR 'special' girlfriend. *shrugs* perhaps you've got a Grace on your hands.
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    Nov 24, 2008 4:28 PM GMT
    Char, I hope she isn't being obnoxious about it. I've never been in that situation. When I came out in college, all my friends were straight, but they didn;t see it as something to be proud of that they had a gay friend. They were just happy I was comfortable enough to tell them and trusted them.
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    Nov 24, 2008 4:31 PM GMT
    Red_Vespa saidNope, I've never had a woman tell me that. I am much praised by our lesbian friends for being their all-around fix-it guy, though, which always amuses all of us for breaking the stereotypes of the handywoman lesbian and the helpless gay. For that reason my partner sometimes calls me his lesbian. LOL!!!


    Heh. From an actual text message conversation last week:

    ME: Woohoo!!! Just got sticky junk to fix sink. No more leaks...can wash dishes again. :-(

    BOYFRIEND: Awww, that's cute LOL. My boyfriend's turning into a lesbian!

    To answer the OP, though, some of my female friends say it is my contractual obligation as their male friend who happens to be gay to compliment them on their clothing, hair, and recent weight loss from time to time, since they don't hear that from straight men often enough. They say this as a joke, of course...I think women who seek out gay men for the novelty of having a gay man in their lives period are emotionally unattractive.
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    Nov 24, 2008 4:32 PM GMT
    well the other night me and some people were talking about what we thought about each other when we first met
    and one of my guy friends was like well at first i thought of u as an off kid who really like zim
    and now i consider u my gay friend
    to which most of the other people agreed with
    but it didnt really phase me
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    Nov 24, 2008 4:35 PM GMT
    charlitos saidI dont know...one of my best friends(girl) she is a really nice person but I feel like a freak sometimes...she is like so happy to have a gay friend that i dont even know how to feel about that...she tells me her girl friends are jealous cause she has a gay friend...I dont really know if thats good or not...I feel like Im some kind of weirdo lol Have you ever been in this situation before? Are you happy with the way your girl friends see you?


    I have female friends who treat me as a friend, not as a pet, or a collector's item! I would be a bit offended if I were in your shoes Charlitos. You are a human being, not a possession. I am sure though she did not mean it that way.
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    Nov 24, 2008 4:46 PM GMT
    That sounds really annoying. I've only ever had one girl treat me like "the token gay friend" - she actually said to me at one point, "you're a terrible gay guy" because I wasn't complimenting her enough - suffice to say, that friendship didn't last very long.
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Nov 24, 2008 5:02 PM GMT
    Having thought about it though, I remember the girls in the office I used to work in. One girl, Karen, LOVED me and professed it just about every time we worked together, but it had a LOT to do with the fact that I really did notice just about everything she did 'differently' hair/makeup wise, and it was back in the days when I was rockin the 'thats hot' phrase. Especially when she'd laugh while eating and something would come flying out of her mouth.

    That's hot.

    lol.

    All the girls loved me though (at least the fun ones anyways) cause I was (and I think I still might be) pretty attractive but as one of the girls put it "You know, most of the time you seem like such a straight guy. But then WHAM, you've got your REALLLLLLLLY gay moments."

    As some others above stated, the novelty of that dichotomy is probably a big factor. It may not be so much a 'pet' thing as them enjoying someone who will call them hot, play with their tits whilst saying 'the girls look really good today!' and then lose interest cause a hot guy just walked by.
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    Nov 24, 2008 5:06 PM GMT
    I had both a guy and a girl one time tell me I was 'unappealing' and 'sexually unattractive.' But to answer your question, no, I'm known as 'The Weathaman' LOL
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 24, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    tell her to stop watching Sex in the City.
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    Nov 24, 2008 6:31 PM GMT
    I've had girl friends tell me that they've loved me even before I came out because I had a good fashion sense when it came to female clothing (dressing myself is a WHOLE different story). You shouldn't feel like a "weirdo" because she's happy that you're gay. If anything you should take it as a compliment.

    Believe me, I've known some bad gays in my life, and I don't mean bad as in they had a horrible fashion sense or no taste in music (and I know I'm going to be reprimanded by someone for stating "stereotypes"), but bad because they had a chip on their shoulder. I think when she says that she's happy to have a gay friend and that her friends are all jealous, it's because you're an amazing person. You have a aura about you that draws people in. People want to be around you because you make them smile. Embrace it Charlitos. icon_wink.gif
  • MSUBioNerd

    Posts: 1813

    Nov 24, 2008 6:42 PM GMT
    Your friend might not be articulating it that well. I know for a while I was basically the only male friend a few of my female friends had, and in large part it was because I was gay. I wasn't out at the time, but one of them did once say to me something along the lines of "The reason you're the only guy I'm actually friends with is that you're the only guy who looks me in the eye when talking to me and doesn't hit on me at least once every half hour. I guess it's nice that the others think I'm pretty, but I have a brain, you know, and I'd rather be treated like I do." And while that might sound conceited, in all fairness, she was right--she was a knockout, it was high school, and the majority of guys talking to her were quite obviously drooling.

    The way I look at it is this: most girls have some sort of hierarchy in their friendships with each other. Most guys do too. Those hierarchies rarely extend to people of the opposite sex. A gay guy being friends with a girl, or a lesbian being friends with a guy, gets to bypass all that posturing and cattiness, while also avoiding the sexual tension that is so common to opposite sex friendships in heterosexual pairs. That can lead to an easier and less stressful friendship, as the other person is neither a potential partner nor a potential competitor. The gay person will have that with all of their opposite sex friendships; the straight person will only have it with their gay opposite sex friends. That makes it a rarer and therefore more remarkable thing for your straight female friend than it is for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 24, 2008 6:44 PM GMT
    I have girl friends who like me because of everythng I'm about....work, play, life in general.........

    Does your girl friend ONLY see you as gay? I understand your question and why you feel stange about it.

    Does she share her life with you? Do you guys enjoy yourselves just talking.....doing just regular thngs?

    The gay thng is probably the thing that sparked your freindship...but after a while you need more than that to really consider a person your friend.
  • reload16

    Posts: 267

    Nov 24, 2008 6:47 PM GMT
    I kind of know how you feel a little.

    my best friend (girl) always tells me why I am not "gay" enough because I am not into clothes or designers. lol. But thats the only thing she says.

    There is substance in our friendship since we been friends for 10 years icon_cool.gif
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    Nov 24, 2008 6:48 PM GMT
    My girl-friends don't really care, as I'm one of the 60% of the local population that is gay out here. Of course, when I've ever been the token gay I'd just give them more info about being gay (i.e. how I take it) and they stop making those comments. Hey, I have to hear about that nasty fishy thing down there, they can hear my TMI!!!
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    Nov 24, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    Sounds like the girl has a new fashion accessory, too show off to her girlfriends, and they come in all diffrent colours and sizes too. My label would also read: Made by Aussies.
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    Nov 25, 2008 2:20 AM GMT
    HighVoltageGuy saidI've had girl friends tell me that they've loved me even before I came out because I had a good fashion sense when it came to female clothing (dressing myself is a WHOLE different story). You shouldn't feel like a "weirdo" because she's happy that you're gay. If anything you should take it as a compliment.

    Believe me, I've known some bad gays in my life, and I don't mean bad as in they had a horrible fashion sense or no taste in music (and I know I'm going to be reprimanded by someone for stating "stereotypes"), but bad because they had a chip on their shoulder. I think when she says that she's happy to have a gay friend and that her friends are all jealous, it's because you're an amazing person. You have a aura about you that draws people in. People want to be around you because you make them smile. Embrace it Charlitos. icon_wink.gif


    man thanks for the message it really helps a lot. My friend is not just some random girl, I really like her personality and she is really nice. Im living on residence at university and Im a very outgoing person yet straight looking, so girls that know im gay always like to dance with me and have fun since they know im not gonna try anything lol. But this is something different, this friend is someone really close to me, I just feel weird when she sais such things as "I always wanned a gay friend" lol I just freak out, but she doesnt treat me in a different way or anything like that, she even likes to say she is my wife lol and Im ok with it hehe, we just think is hilarious and our personality is really similar. So I guess she doesnt really see me as a pet or something...otherwise I might kill her on her sleep lol
  • styrgan

    Posts: 2017

    Nov 25, 2008 2:29 AM GMT
    Girls that collect gay guys are a mixed bag...

    I'm sure you can find some fun ways to mess with her though.

    Just tell her you messed around with a girl and you can't continue your friendship with her now that you've acquired a new appreciation for clit. icon_eek.gif