Bitch...Girl...etc.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 3:58 PM GMT
    As a joke, lots of gay men call each other names like this. Call me uptight.....call me whatever. But when someone at a club or bar, or if I am in a group that starts using those words to address me, I tell them not too.

    I have a first name, and if you don't know it, you can use words like "excuse me" or "hello" or any other polite way of doing it.

    Save the gay names for your other friends who like that.

    Do other guys here feel the same?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 4:36 PM GMT


    Both of us usually ask if the speaker using those words to address us has issues with gender identity. heheh
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 5:01 PM GMT
    Girl please... Don't be such a Bitch! icon_biggrin.gif

    Could be worse, I knew a guy whose friends called him Mama icon_eek.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 5:07 PM GMT
    somebody should check his hormones...

    cat
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    Yea its a serious pet peeve of mine. I just don't get it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 7:36 PM GMT
    It's called reclaiming/repurposing attack words. Same as the n word has been reclaimed/repurposed by the AfricanAmerican community, so have the gays refashioned fag, faggot, bitch, queer, sissy, etc.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 7:38 PM GMT
    I usually don't... for precisely the reason you mentioned, jp930.
    But if I am "joking around" with my friends in a lighthearted setting, I won't "get my panties a bunch." Ba-dum-dum. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 7:54 PM GMT
    Don't get zdrew started on this one, the girl takes it personal. LOL!

    I can understand as to why some don't appreciate being called these names. And if after you tell them not to refer you as such and they continue, I say punch them. icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 24, 2008 7:58 PM GMT
    Girl ?.... You bin gettin' them hot flashes?

    'cause you should be gettin' some of them hormones
    you actin' crazy....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 8:04 PM GMT

    Guilty as charged. I throw these words around, but only in circles where they are welcome. My friends know and I know that they don't actually mean I'm a girl. It's more of a play on words. We aren't uptight and are pretty relaxed about gender roles. Plus, we are all quasi feminists and as you may know, the word bitch and girl has been transformed in recent years from manacles of shame into terms for female empowerment. My friends and I feel that we bear some similarities to woman kind (dust your knees off honey, that's one), and also females represent another group that has been oppressed and demonized simply for being what they are, much like us (for being gay), and they were being oppressed before us. Much as females are becoming empowered by words used to degrade them like "bitch" and "girl", we also feel empowered by them too.

    Furthermore, I've got the stocky build, the hot muscles, the rugged style: I'm so MANLY it's painful. When I get around my sisters, I really do want to ease up a bit and be a little gayer. If I was straight I'd be content to cram my masculinity down everyone's throat all the time to ease feelings of insecurity, but I'm gay and I'm very secure in my masculinity. Also, I belong to a GAY community that is made up of all kinds: flamboyant, feminine, straight acting, butch, and queeny. I refuse to create an us and them mentality within my own community. I know some identify with girls, some you can hardly tell the difference.....you'll never see me reminding them that I'm not like them thus implying that I'm some how better. I'm not, we are all gay.

    It is my personal opinion that being uptight about gender roles is a straight custom. Straight guys choke themselves trying to appear as tuff, macho, and as masculine as possible. However, that is part of that culture, boys are socialized to BE THE MAN starting very young: don't cry, don't smile, don't play with barbies! Reversely, in the gay community those rules are lax; after all, you sleep with dudes, I think that trumps playing with barbies. I feel that if you really are tuff, macho, masculine, you shouldn't need to try so hard nor should you need to remind everyone constantly of your role, especially if a gay friend slips and playfully calls you girl or bitch.

    Kissing pro, if you were my friend and in a casual setting, felt the need to remind me of your role and asked (scolded) me not to call you a bitch or a girl, or honey chow, what have you. I'd promptly break off my friendship with you.....ok, maybe not, but I would definitely tell you to chillax and that I'll say what the hell I want when I want. I know it sounds dramatic, but I'm not in the closet anymore, I'm not hung up on gender roles, and I don't consider it a good time to walk on any kind of eggshells for someone who is supposed to be my friend. Tact is my middle name, I practice propriety as a rule and only in the right setting would I ever use a term of endearment (girl/bitch) toward a friend, because that's what it is, it is not a joke. Unless you think being a girl is a joke.....screw that, being a girl is serious business! icon_surprised.gif

    .............................................
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 8:14 PM GMT
    HighVoltageGuy saidDon't get zdrew started on this one, the girl takes it personal. LOL!

    I can understand as to why some don't appreciate being called these names. And if after you tell them not to refer you as such and they continue, I say punch them. icon_wink.gif


    Only when I'm on my period, sweetheart. And don't worry, I won't punch you this time -- my knuckles are a still a little scraped up from an...incident...last week. icon_wink.gif

    ...

    Doesn't bug me when guys do it, but its just not my thang, y'know? When straight women do it, though, it bugs me...but that's because I have issues with faghags in general. I think they're loathsome creatures.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 8:17 PM GMT
    i think its funny.

    whats the difference between that and using the words dude, buddy, or man?

    Its just a buzz word for the moment. Ways to address each other come and go. This is kind of an annoying one, but I am not gonna get all twisted about it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 8:20 PM GMT
    yeah... i think it's pretty weird. and almost a little insulting.

    but hey, maybe i'm uptight. i just don't really like being called a girl. and i totally agree on the faghag comment. but i mean, we can never let faghags feel bad about themselves, we're the only self-esteem boost they've got.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 8:27 PM GMT
    I call them "shebonics". I generally hate shebonics. They can be funny, but usually when it's done in irony, like when a transvestite with a ghetto-tude says them.

    "Bitch gimme back my heels! Don't think I won't cut you guuurl!" icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 8:29 PM GMT
    Good topic. I hate that too. I just think...I am a man so please do not refer to me as a girl. Simple.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 24, 2008 8:39 PM GMT
    "Shebonics". .... LOL icon_wink.gif

    You funny Mary....
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    Nov 24, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    It's Janet bitches. Miss Jackson if you're nasty.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 9:48 PM GMT
    Well, I don't make too much of it, but I cant stand being called "bitch," "girl," "sister," or anything similar. I have a friend that says it all the time and I just let it go because he's my friend and he wouldn't stop even if I asked because it's habit, but if a stranger does it too many times it gets really annoying.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 10:17 PM GMT
    It's all about context. Used amongst a bunch of friends, it can be pretty damn entertaining conversation. Same thing if someone's putting on a show (literally; like, on stage or something). For a random stranger to come up and use the language with me is annoying and uncomfortable, though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2008 11:38 PM GMT
    Well now here is the thing... One of the people on my work team is a female, a straight female. One day in normal conversation I acidentally refeered to her as "bitch". Well she perceives that word to be a negative so in respect to her I have tried, (still in progress) to curb my slang type nicknames for her. I'm not very good w/remembering names so I tend to give the guy's that work for me nick names. So the rest of the team is fair game. Like Lurch-a-saurus, (really tall guy), rudolph, (had a coupla big zits on his nose), and Kartman, (figure this one out yourself). I am also getting them to not use the term "fag" and its variables because though I may know they do not mean any harm when they say it. I just don't want strangers or customers to take it the wrong way.