Couples in this forum with only 1 profile

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    Oct 02, 2013 11:51 AM GMT
    I notice some couples in this forum with only 1 profile who always post like "we..." . For some reason I find that annoying, its like they lost all singularity in order to look like a couple, and sometimes it even looks like a show off. Im in a serious relationship myself but Im my own person with my own opinions and I value that on people. Does anyone feel the same way? And to the ones who do this, why do you do it? Is this total co-dependency?
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    Oct 02, 2013 6:53 PM GMT
    I think its cute, but i dont think i could share m account, i have too much to say
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Oct 02, 2013 6:58 PM GMT
    It doesn't bother me.

    A fair number of the couples on this site use their "double" profile as a way of advertising that they're willing to play as a couple with a third. Having a joint profile is probably the easiest way to get someone aboard (literally and figuratively :winkicon_smile.gif.
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:08 PM GMT
    David3000 said Does anyone feel the same way?

    No
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:09 PM GMT
    I like it.
    Everyone is different, each has their own preferences.
    You express independently and theirs is collective.
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:27 PM GMT
    I like it. I think it is cute and sweet. It doesn't mean they have lost their individuality or have a lack of trust in their relationships. It is what it is and all the ones that I have interacted with have been great guys.

    What does bother me is the hidden profiles that post and the torsos that are married who's headlines implies they are looking for nsa fun.
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:40 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidPeople are hiding their husbands from you hence the lack of separate accounts! Just kidding! ;)

    ART_DECO said
    David3000 said Does anyone feel the same way?

    No

    I created a separate RJ account for my husband, but he's never used it. And now neither of us can remember the name & password. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:42 PM GMT
    I dunno. A high profile couple who met on RJ maintained their separate profiles, then split up. Maybe there's something to sharing a profile!
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:47 PM GMT
    dudewithabeard saidWhat does bother me is the hidden profiles that post and the torsos that are married who's headlines implies they are looking for nsa fun.

    That's so true. I guess compared to that the gay couple with 1 profile is just a pet peeve
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:50 PM GMT
    David3000 saidI notice some couples in this forum with only 1 profile who always post like "we..." . For some reason I find that annoying, its like they lost all singularity in order to look like a couple, and sometimes it even looks like a show off. Im in a serious relationship myself but Im my own person with my own opinions and I value that on people. Does anyone feel the same way? And to the ones who do this, why do you do it? Is this total co-dependency?


    "For some reason I find that annoying"...

    Is this a trend or what? Suddenly our personal dislikes has become a marketing campaign. So what if you are annoyed by it? It's their profile. I can be annoyed with many things but I don't display it out in the open unless it damages me in some way, and it is not like it's affecting my health in anyway.

    JEEZ.

    If they want to do that, let them. If they love each other and they do things together, let them do it.

    Suddenly it seems like we completely insecure. Like we should do what they do and they should do what we do. Is David3000 questioning his own relationship?

    If you are completely SECURE about your own relationship, I don't see why you are annoyed by it.

    This is a complete paradox.

    For example: I am secure in my life and I am happy doing things with my partner. I have my own view but I would like to share my profile with my partner because we do things together.
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:54 PM GMT
    Yes, it drives me crazy, these people who claim to be couples, as opposed to that one obese bitter guy who has something close to a million profiles.
    A short personal story, a couple of weeks ago my "partner" LingLang asked if I would help him set up his own profile on a site that I cruise through, throw some sort of retarded gibberish out and log off from. My first response was, "how in the hell did you get the cuffs off?"
    So, we (me and LingLang) are now officially posting as one. But since it's just me who has hands free to type, it will basically just be me, that and I can't understand a single word LingLang mumbles with that cheap Chinese ball gag he always seems to be wearing.
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    Oct 02, 2013 8:24 PM GMT
    JasFriedman said
    "For some reason I find that annoying"...
    Is this a trend or what? Suddenly our personal dislikes has become a marketing campaign. So what if you are annoyed by it? It's their profile. I can be annoyed with many things but I don't display it out in the open unless it damages me in some way, and it is not like it's affecting my health in anyway.
    JEEZ.
    If they want to do that, let them. If they love each other and they do things together, let them do it.
    Suddenly it seems like we completely insecure. Like we should do what they do and they should do what we do. Is David3000 questioning his own relationship?
    If you are completely SECURE about your own relationship, I don't see why you are annoyed by it.
    This is a complete paradox.
    For example: I am secure in my life and I am happy doing things with my partner. I have my own view but I would like to share my profile with my partner because we do things together.

    Hasn't it occurred to you the reason I'm annoyed by that behavior might be other than your presumptuous assumption? I value intellectual independence and I believe each person is a world; when someone stops having their own opinions to become a couple entity, that's giving up on who they are and I'm not attracted to that. I enjoy discussing politics or sports with my partner, and when we're on a group we stand by our points of view, even if they are different (and I wouldn't like it otherway).

    And don't get confused, I'm only talking about the people who speak as a "we" and not about the ones who have pictures of them together, these are 2 different things.
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    Oct 02, 2013 8:33 PM GMT
    David3000 saidI'm only talking about the people who speak as a "we"

    I agree with you on this point, except I don't find that phenomenon annoying, just confusing:

    35cga4l.jpg
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    Oct 02, 2013 8:48 PM GMT
    ^ lol what are you doing? why do you keep changing that book cover?
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    Oct 02, 2013 9:23 PM GMT
    JasFriedman saidI don't see why you are annoyed by it.

    In the main I agree with you.

    There are many things one can be annoyed by, for whatever reasons. We all have our peeves.

    But to publicly criticise people for something that annoys you when it has no effect or bearing on you seems inappropriate to me.
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    Oct 02, 2013 10:15 PM GMT
    David3000 said^ lol what are you doing? why do you keep changing that book cover?

    I'd confused Ayn Rand's "We The Living" with Yevgeny Zamyatin's "We," a prescient 1921 sci fi novel where eventually the reader is made to realize that the titular "we" that the narrator refers to is "I," a word forgotten in a "future" society where individuality is suppressed in favor of the collective. That is, if I got my novels straight this time - I was 12 the last time I read 'em.
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    Oct 02, 2013 11:46 PM GMT
    It gives me hope.

    Maybe someday I will find someone to share my life and maybe grow old with.

  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 02, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    Being an individual is important to me, too. I get what you're saying.
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    Oct 02, 2013 11:50 PM GMT
    I think it's kind of sweet I mean how many guys in relationships are willing to do that?
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    Oct 03, 2013 12:50 AM GMT

    David3000, " And to the ones who do this, why do you do it? Is this total co-dependency?"

    First, I think you need to look at codependency:


    Meriam Webster dictionary
    "a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (as an addiction to alcohol or heroin); broadly : dependence on the needs of or control by another."

    So the answer here is no. We do it because our lives are open books to each other, Bill's not interested in the site that much, and it's a way of showing others thinking it can't happen (a good LTR) that it can indeed, even to plain people like us. icon_wink.gif
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Oct 03, 2013 1:03 AM GMT
    David3000 saidI notice some couples in this forum with only 1 profile who always post like "we..." . For some reason I find that annoying, its like they lost all singularity in order to look like a couple, and sometimes it even looks like a show off. Im in a serious relationship myself but Im my own person with my own opinions and I value that on people. Does anyone feel the same way? And to the ones who do this, why do you do it? Is this total co-dependency?


    Do you have a life?
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    Oct 03, 2013 1:37 AM GMT
    ReluctantPromises said
    eagermuscle said
    David3000 said^ lol what are you doing? why do you keep changing that book cover?

    I'd confused Ayn Rand's "We The Living" with Yevgeny Zamyatin's "We," a prescient 1921 sci fi novel where eventually the reader is made to realize that the titular "we" that the narrator refers to is "I," a word forgotten in a "future" society where individuality is suppressed in favor of the collective. That is, if I got my novels straight this time - I was 12 the last time I read 'em.


    No you're thinking of Anthem by Ayn Rand.


    That's it, "Anthem!" Thank you! I'd read them all so long ago I was having a senior moment! Maybe it was because "We" and "Anthem" not only had similar themes but protagonists known by numbers ("D-503" for "We" versus "Equality 7-2521" for "Anthem").
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    @meninlove
    I'm really sorry
    Forgive my poor English...I thought 'co-dependency' is something like an open book...you know something like relying on each other, trusting each other, etc.
    Until you mentioned it, I have no idea that it's referred to a psychological condition.
    Allow me to rectify!I'll try not to repeat similar mistakes.
    Apologies once again & thanks for pointing out!
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:50 AM GMT
    tazzari said
    David3000 saidI notice some couples in this forum with only 1 profile who always post like "we..." . For some reason I find that annoying, its like they lost all singularity in order to look like a couple, and sometimes it even looks like a show off. Im in a serious relationship myself but Im my own person with my own opinions and I value that on people. Does anyone feel the same way? And to the ones who do this, why do you do it? Is this total co-dependency?


    Do you have a life?


    Really? Me asking this makes you think I dont have a life, please explain, it's interesting.
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:54 AM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor saidI'm very independant and still don't consider the word We as codependent. We're so independent that often at parties we're busy talking to other people. Plus couples feel freer to be themselves with a little space.
    Now, as for being online and describing something that you both did, We seems kinda natural to me.
    Does the OP's BF have a profile here?


    He actually had an account in another gay forum I used to hang around but he doesnt have a job that allows him to spend time and get hooked in forums (like I do).