Who here is a victim of child molestation?

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    Oct 02, 2013 12:40 PM GMT
    Not sure if this was done before. I know how most of us dislike whiny posts, so I'm starting this only to see how other people turned out. I'd like to know how you dealt with it and if there are still impressions left on you.
    I was molested for around seven years, and it started when I was 3.
    I think I'm fairly stable mentally, other than the fact that I'm mildly touch phobic and have no idea what to do in a non professional social situation.
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    Oct 02, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    Yeah, I should have thought of that.
    Thanks!
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    Oct 02, 2013 6:06 PM GMT
    A previous bf of mine was sexually molested by his father. I found out about it because one day he misplaced his meds and had a psychotic episode in which he regressed to a time that his father molested him: He was literally responding to me as if I were his father molesting him. I kept my calm and lucky found his meds. Sadly after a very difficult life mixed with poor coping skills he ended up killing himself.

    Sexual molestation really effects people for life. I am Lucky I never suffered any abuse, but I deeply feel for those who had to endure it. I can only try to imagine how bad it would be go through something like that.
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:09 PM GMT
    That sounds horrible. Fortunately i was never molested.
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    Oct 02, 2013 7:52 PM GMT
    I'm sorry but I don't have a great outcome story either, though perhaps it can be construed as a not-so-plucky tale of survival against all odds.

    I reconnected with a childhood acquaintance (the daughter of a friend of one of my parents) a couple of years ago. I'd crushed on her when we were 14. Little did I know that would be her physical peak, because that year she was raped and began deteriorating. She never mentioned the rape to me, nor her catching her father in bed with another woman when she came home early from elementary school - probably because there were so many other tragedies which led to today's outcome to bring up. After a failed marriage at 27 she moved back for over 20 years with her mother, older brother and older sister into the childhood townhouse her mother got in a divorce settlement in 1971, and became anorexic. Several years ago her sister, a stunning teenager who became an overweight, middle-aged lesbian tabled by health complications, died on a living room cot, unwilling and unable to go on. A year later, her brother hung himself in his bedroom upstairs right next to her. Then a couple years later, just a couple of months ago, her mother was diagnosed with late stage terminal cancer and within two weeks also died on her living room cot. The townhouse title reverted in full to her estranged father given the settlement terms and rather than fight to live in a house where her entire family died within five years she chose to move out of state to her next nearest relative, a gay uncle. Initially she sounded suspiciously chipper given the change of venue but within a month she suddenly didn't answer my emails and calls and what I suspected might happen did - another failed suicide attempt, after many over the years. Still under a hundred pounds and suffering from fibromyalgia (among other things) she largely relies on her gay uncle, now in his eighties and ill equipped to deal with her issues. I'm currently dealing with those that I'm aware of behind the scenes with some of my newest friends, the kids of our collective aging parents. Funny how we hardly knew each other as children but given our parents and respective traumas they're friends now. Who knew that, gay or straight, we might be relying on each other in our dotage.

    So smile. For those of you depressed by childhood molestation there may be even worse, far worse things - feel for this wounded bird and her uncle, your aged, gay brethren. I'm just a friend and I can't even look at a cat meme on here without being reminded that even her cats died on her these past few years. It's one of the reasons I rarely voice my own relatively minor personal complaints, life changes and health issues online and never wonder, whether I take an RJ break for several months or a weekend, why no member ever put out an APB thread on me.
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    Oct 02, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    Fortunately a majority of guys haven't been molested by men or boys just from experience. Sorry you had to go through that. It's a shame that being straight and molested by a girl (like a babysitter) is accepted in most cases. But at 3 years old not.
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    Oct 03, 2013 12:03 AM GMT
    I dated a guy once who was molested by his uncle. And its funny cuz I always questioned if he was gay. I asked him if he thought him being molested may have affected his sexuality and he thought it had some effect on it.
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:15 AM GMT
    Hey, thanks everyone! All the insights helped!
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:16 AM GMT
    hellass saidI dated a guy once who was molested by his uncle. And its funny cuz I always questioned if he was gay. I asked him if he thought him being molested may have affected his sexuality and he thought it had some effect on it.

    I've asked myself this a million times.
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    bradomo saidFortunately a majority of guys haven't been molested by men or boys just from experience. Sorry you had to go through that. It's a shame that being straight and molested by a girl (like a babysitter) is accepted in most cases. But at 3 years old not.

    Thanks!
    It wasn't okay. I told my parents when I learnt what sex and molestation were, they didn't believe me at first, for a good half year or so. Well, I'm glad that part's water under the bridge now.
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:47 AM GMT
    When i was a child a family friends son had his way with me. Him and his mother were spending the night at my house and we were going to the beach the next day. He was around 15-16 years old and i was about 9 and he was on top of me and before he could finish my mother and his mother walked in and stopped him. I insisted that nothing was wrong and that i was fine. it was somewhat of a consensual statutory thing. but thankfully they stopped him, I didnt know anything about sex much less gay sex and i had no idea what he was about to do to me
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    Oct 03, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    Not child molestation but child mental and sometimes physical cruelty in my case. The memories and mental anguish are there. Thankfully - I had two sets of grandparents who were very loving and kind, so at 9 I asked to go live with them. BEST thing I ever did. I don't know how I would have made it without those terrific grandparents. They're gone now, but I think of them with gratitude and warmth every day.
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    Oct 03, 2013 3:01 AM GMT
    CopperDevil said When i was a child a family friends son had his way with me. Him and his mother were spending the night at my house and we were going to the beach the next day. He was around 15-16 years old and i was about 9 and he was on top of me and before he could finish my mother and his mother walked in and stopped him. I insisted that nothing was wrong and that i was fine. it was somewhat of a consensual statutory thing. but thankfully they stopped him, I didnt know anything about sex much less gay sex and i had no idea what he was about to do to me

    Okay. He got caught out in time then. Thankfully, I never got penetrated or anything like that. My friend's father and elder brother used to take turns at grinding on top of me.
    The entire family's vanished, I havent been able to trace them. I feel bad for my friend, I'm certain he was being victimised too.