My LONG ASS LIFE STORY but if you have the time to read it I would love some advice from you guys!!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 03, 2013 1:09 AM GMT
    My name is Nicholas. When I was fourteen my mother dropped me off at a parking lot and drove away. She told me that I was going to see a doctor and when I got out of the car she took off. I was put into a hospital the very next day and then a week later a person from child protective services came to get me. I was in different foster homes for four years. I really don't have any family accept my sister and my brother who live in other cities. I was moved to four different foster homes and over six different school districts during high school and even put into several treatment centers because of depression and anger for several years during the ages of twelve to eighteen. I had friends in high school but none of them were long lasting relationships and because of the fact that I moved so much I didn't get to develop any lasting personal friendships with people who were my age by the time I left high school. I'm twenty now and I feel really alone. Freshmen year of college I had an amazing abundance of friends but as time goes on everyone drops out/moves away/becomes busier. My world has gotten super lonely but I AM EXTREMELY BLESSED. My GPA is good right now and I know for a fact that I will graduate with my degree on time. My current GPA is 3.04 and freshmen year I was on the deans list and honors. I’m already a junior pursuing a degree in business management, as well as an engineering degree in construction science and management. Because I am a foster child I do not have to pay for tuition in any public university in TEXAS which is a benefit that I have for the entirety of my life. (Tuition is about $8000-$10,000 a year at Texas State) and I get grants to help with a lot of my living expenses (I get $6000-$10000 every year I go to school). I have a job as a shift manager right now and Ive always worked between 20-30 hours a week while going to school. This year I will pay for a $8000-$10000 car in full and will be looking for an internship as soon as I get it. Although it seems that I have successfully put myself in a position where I will have financial success I fear that by the time I graduate with my two degrees and only about four thousand dollars in debt I will be successful and lonely for the rest of my life. I really want to be like everyone else who doesn't give a fuck about their grades but I don't have parents to support me when I get out of college which means I need a job as soon as I get out of college. The only way to do that is with an internship which requires me to have a GPA above 3.0 which involves a lot of studying. I simply feel like I don’t have time to keep up with personal relationships. I have not dated anyone in my lifetime or kissed anyone, but the simple fact is as of right now and for the next three years of my life I DON’T HAVE TIME for a relationship. I also lately have realized that my insane schedule has left me with barely any time to party/be a kid/ keep up with friendships. I hate having to be the kid who is responsible because no one else is going to do it for him but my worst nightmare is growing up lonely. What would you do if you were me

    Hours a week 168

    Hours Sleeping (eight hours a day) 56
    Classes 16
    Work 25
    Study 32 two hours for every hour of class is what they say every student needs to do to get A’s
    Walking to work/school 11 (one and a half hours a day)

    Leaves me with 28 hours a week to do what I want to do and not what I need to do

    Last thing I started out rough but I think that I’m disciplined, Hard working, and very smart but the thing I’ve learned is I’m still only twenty and I’m not done learning. I don’t know if stability is worth giving up everything that I’m giving up and there are days when I cry wishing I could be carefree like all lot of other people that I know who are my age.
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1637

    Oct 03, 2013 1:51 AM GMT
    I think you are an incredible young man. You obviously were smart enough to take advantage of a lot of opportunities that were available to you as a foster child. I, too, am a (former) foster child (from age 13 to 21), but did not utilize the resources available to me as fully as I could have.

    You are very young and have a lot of time to build friendships and relationships, you should focus on establishing yourself first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 03, 2013 2:31 AM GMT
    tl/dr When I joined this site I started a thread and tried to explain my history. I was attacked from the get go. So it's hard to have sympathy for anyone else. Thanks for that RJ.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6082

    Oct 03, 2013 2:49 AM GMT
    I could be the adult voice of reason counseling you to keep focused on your school work or I could be a more fun and diabolical voice suggesting you just say 'fuck it' and do whatever the hell you want.

    The way I look at it, there is no 'right and wrong' about decisions like this. We all do what we do for reasons that seemed right to us at the time. In hindsight we may feel differently about it. But there is the point: Try and live life in a way that has few regrets. If you decide to stick with it and get through school and *then* party hardy, that's fine. You'll still have plenty of time to have an adult life with all the fun you can stand. BUT don't regret the decision to wait!

    On the other hand you can just start cutting loose now. Just don't regret it when you pay the price for that decision.

    OR, maybe there is some compromise. Surely you can find one evening a week where you can go out and have fun??
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 03, 2013 4:50 AM GMT

    "Leaves me with 28 hours a week to do what I want to do and not what I need to do." Would that be truly free 28 hours, outside of sleep etc? If so that's 7 hours four days a week with any guy you are dating. That's a fair bit of time, you know. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 03, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    I am so sorry for you difficult upbringing , childhood should be a happy times , not heartbreak and tears !
    You should follow the path you are on at the moment , you need to secure a future for yourself and sometimes doing that you are sacrificing some of the fun that others are having around you ..
    Try to manage those 28 hours a week you have left , meet some people , volunteer , do what makes you happy and lift your spirit ...
    Best of luck to you mate !!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 03, 2013 5:25 PM GMT
    To paraphrase Mother Teresa, we are ultimately made to love and be loved. With that being said I wouldn't stress yourself out. We're taught to appear happy at an early age. The path you are on is precisely where you should be -- just follow through. So many relationships come and go, BUT the relationship with yourself (skills and degree you're earning) will be with you for the rest of your life.

    You don't want to be like "everyone else" you've had unique circumstances and that makes you special. I know it sounds cliche, but there is strength in facing adversity. Just trudge through things, it will get better -- have faith icon_smile.gif

    P.S. I know it doesn't help, but if I was in Texas I'd give you lots of hugs and, as long as I was single, I'd cuddle with you for as much of those 28 hours as I could, because I love cuddling.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 03, 2013 5:37 PM GMT
    U have gone through so much and right now is not the time to backtrack. Dnt take this the wrong way, i dnt understand why u would want to be ordinary, when u are exceptionally a specail breed. Keep at it bra, keep moving forward and the rest will come to you. If there is anyone who deserves happiness, u sure are one of them. And u know what, u will find it.
  • BambiBoy98

    Posts: 72

    Jul 16, 2016 6:20 AM GMT
    Old post. I know. But I just wanted to say this. You're a lot stronger than others your age. And basically in agreement with previous comments, use that free time you have to make connections with other people. Or more importantly, do what makes you happy with that time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2016 8:28 AM GMT
    First of all I'm. Sorry for your childhood,,,,even I'm happy you are strong enough to face hard life with success on different will be my pleasure if got your target ....all the best
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Oct 06, 2016 1:50 PM GMT
    keep in mind guys this is a 3 year old post.