New to this and need advice

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 6:56 PM GMT
    So I'm looking for some feed back here... I met a guy last week and we went out a couple days ago. We had a great time really seemed to enjoy each other. I invited him over again last night where I was going to cook a nice dinner and we were going to watch a movie.

    On his way to my house he sent me a text message saying that he hated to ask this and sound like a loser but wanted to know if I had some extra money that he could borrow...

    At first I just said that I didn't. But then I started thinking about it and I thought wait, here is a guy that I have only been on one date with and he is already asking me for money. So I sent him a text message telling him that I had an issue being asked for money already. I also told him that I am taking responsibility for my feeling wierd about it but that I just wasn't comfortable with this, so soon. And that I was canceling the evening.

    He didn't react well and said that I must have all kinds of issues and my response was very bi-polar and that I needed therapy.

    Was my reaction harsh?
  • cacti

    Posts: 273

    Sep 15, 2007 7:50 PM GMT
    NO. ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 7:58 PM GMT
    No.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 8:13 PM GMT
    Mmm how old was this guy, and how did you meet?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 8:45 PM GMT
    Hmm...all the signs of a grade A moocher.

    It makes me wonder why he wanted the money in the first place...charity?
  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Sep 15, 2007 8:51 PM GMT
    I'm going against the current here so slam me if you want:
    But Yeah...I'd say you did go overboard with that buddy...especially as you said earlier about the previous date with him...
    We had a great time really seemed to enjoy each other.

    Tell him no to the money request...but cancelling???

    I tend to be a very easy going guy so maybe its that...but you need to take it farther than that for me to start cancelling stuff...especially if the guy is on his way...LOL man o man...

    But thats just me...
    AMB
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 8:57 PM GMT
    Not really a slam but can you imagine it? A guy comming over for a second date asking for money? I think there might be something wrong/creepy about that.
  • Nudista

    Posts: 158

    Sep 15, 2007 9:03 PM GMT
    Sure Ryan....your right, maybe something wrong...but my natural reaction would be...shit, what could be going on with this poor guy...?? Maybe I can help...??? Then again...maybe not..and maybe even a Hell No...but I'd definitely give the guy a chance to explain himself...and then I'd decide. Definitely wouldn't cancel the date...especially if we both had a good time on the previous date as Polobutt mentioned.
    AMB
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 9:17 PM GMT
    Thats me too, Apex. I would have said no to the request for money but I'd be curious as to his motive. Cancelling the date is too far for me, especially after I started cooking for it. :D
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 10:47 PM GMT
    If it were me, I wouldn't have canceled the date, but I wouldn't have lent him the money, either. I agree with you that asking to borrow money was a major red flag, but I bet the situation could have been navigated a bit more smoothly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:05 PM GMT
    Polobutt: You did exactly the right thing. Anyone who asks someone for money after one date -- after 20 dates, for that matter -- is bad news.

    And his response -- telling you that you're bipolar and need therapy because you don't wanna go out with someone hitting you up for money -- oughta confirm your feeling that he's a mess.

    And OF COURSE you had a good first date. He's probably a sociopath.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:13 PM GMT
    I'll give you my opinion if you can spot me a 20 til next week.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:20 PM GMT
    McG, polobutt's profile says, "Looking to meet men who act like men." I think that means he only lends money to "straight-acting" guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:22 PM GMT
    If instead of lending me the 20 he just gives it to me, I'll put on whatever act he wants. I'm cheap.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:23 PM GMT
    One doesn't "loan" a stranger money. It is always a gift.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:24 PM GMT
    That's why it's best not to make friends.

    Do I know you?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:26 PM GMT
    No. Please, keep the pantyhose AND the girdle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:28 PM GMT
    I do NOT wear XXX large.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:30 PM GMT
    You didn't specify size when you made your request. Not my fault.

    Of course I cannot return the lipstick you left on my cock, either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:32 PM GMT
    LIKE OMIGOD! That was your cock? I thought we were engaged in nipple play. I'm so sorry.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:37 PM GMT
    Seems like every time we turn on the TV at lunchtime, Judge Joe Brown is dealing with the ol' loan vs. gift scenario.

    Defendant: Your honor, that wasn't a loan. It was a gift.

    Judge: I have right here in my hand a loan agreement with your signature on it.

    Defendant: I didn't sign no loan agreement.

    Bailiff shows defendant the loan agreement.

    Judge: Is that your signature at the bottom?

    Defendant: Yes, it is.

    Judge: Well, how did it get there?

    Defendant: I don't know.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 15, 2007 11:48 PM GMT
    Pretty common occurance. Your smart for not getting sucked into a sugar daddy relationship.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2007 12:01 AM GMT
    Thanks to everyone for your imput!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2007 12:05 AM GMT
    You're welcone.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Sep 16, 2007 12:50 AM GMT
    I've learned from experience to trust your first instinct. If he knew he looked like a loser for even asking for the money so soon, then he should also accept that you are under no obligation to give it to him. If you're instincts told you that was a bad sign despite the first date, go with it. Most likely if it quacks like a duck.....it is a duck!

    It think you were totally justified in canceling.