I can't fathom...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:24 PM GMT
    I dated three guys since I got here in Houston, TX. Commonalities among the three...."I'm attracted to you (meaning me) physically, intellectually, emotionally etc....and I'm also attracted to the fact that you are a doctor....an anesthesiologist." The latter is such a turn off. I want a guy to like me for who I am.....not on what I've achieved.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 04, 2013 1:37 PM GMT
    The majority of Gay men obsess over looks and money.It is what it is.
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:38 PM GMT
    Jaggal saidAgreed. I would datelove a garbage man if we were compatiblemeant to be (not that there is anything wrong with being a garbage man).


    You're so earthy and sweet icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    It goes with the territory. When dating, people often look at the whole picture, both what kind of person you are and what kind of life you can give them. Right or wrong, it's going to happen.

    In the case above, it doesn't seem like the guy was saying that your job is the main reason he's with you. To me, it sounds like he was just saying that it's a plus in your column. In fact, he might have even thought it was a form of flattery, especially if the comment followed the praise about your looks, personality and chemistry.

    If the guy had said "I only date doctors", that would be a turn off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    LoveAndPeace saidThe majority of Gay men obsess over looks and money.It is what it is.


    No, he creates his own world and doesn't have to accept that for his life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:41 PM GMT
    Tell people you work in a grocery store and make sure you look the part. That's what I would do to avoid the gold diggers!
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:52 PM GMT
    woodsmen said"I'm also attracted to the fact that you are a doctor....an anesthesiologist"

    Sounds like an advertisement. I have never heard that as a facial compliment from any gay men.



    I have nothing to gain posting this mister. Also, I'm not here to get compliments.

    My point is, how blatant guys would want you because of some monetary agenda.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:56 PM GMT
    woodsmen said^And they would articulate the money agenda upfront? That's easy.


    Based on these 3 experience....yea they did.
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    Oct 04, 2013 1:57 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidIf true, I am sorry that people are not attracted to you for the right reasons that would last.



    You're not paying attention mister....read the first statement.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Oct 04, 2013 1:59 PM GMT
    Get used to a lot of gays more attracted to what jingles in your pockets rather than what lies within your heart.
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    Oct 04, 2013 2:00 PM GMT
    mybud saidGet used to a lot of gays more attracted to what jingles in your pockets rather than what lies within your heart.


    I'm sorry buddy...I have no room for that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 2:03 PM GMT
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3472304
    You can try this!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 3:39 PM GMT
    Jaggal said
    AnOriginal said
    Jaggal saidAgreed. I would datelove a garbage man if we were compatiblemeant to be (not that there is anything wrong with being a garbage man).


    You're so earthy and sweet icon_smile.gif


    icon_biggrin.gif


    Is it Denmark where they view all jobs as equal -- no different from a lawyer to a garbage man?
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    Oct 04, 2013 3:44 PM GMT
    RNMD saidI dated three guys since I got here in Houston, TX. Commonalities among the three...."I'm attracted to you (meaning me) physically, intellectually, emotionally etc....and I'm also attracted to the fact that you are a doctor....an anesthesiologist." The latter is such a turn off. I want a guy to like me for who I am.....not on what I've achieved.


    Why don't you just say you work in the medical field and delete this post... Or whatever dating sites you are on, change your profession to I work in the medical field. Guys don't have to know upfront you're a doctor...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:00 PM GMT
    A lot of guys see professionals as good dating prospects, because they are sensible and grounded. You don't have to really disclose what you do for work, it's really not something guys need to know right off.
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:13 PM GMT
    blkapollo saidA lot of guys see professionals as good dating prospects, because they are sensible and grounded. You don't have to really disclose what you do for work, it's really not something guys need to know right off.


    RNMD, I'd be very tempted to ask what that someone finds attractive about you being a Doc.

    Like so, "Would you still find me attractive if I said I'd quit and have been working at Starbucks?" Keep it slightly silly and grin. It calls them out without insulting them. icon_wink.gif

    At one point I was in the banking industry and was moving up. Some guys found that made me a 'catch' lol. ....and I wondered what was the catch, so I did this. Some guys said it didn't matter, others were, "You did WHAT!?! Quit? Coffee shop work?"

    Predictably, things petered out with those others, lol.
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:31 PM GMT
    They should be careful what they find attractive in your employment. Wait until they're stuck at home and you're on call, working late or going in on the weekend. They'll take that off their 'oh I like' list and realize that it's not worth the cash.

    I agree with others, be generic in the wording so they don't know specifics until they get to know you well for who you are instead of what you do.
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:33 PM GMT
    failscarf saidI don't see the problem actually.


    Oh good grief. Then may I suggest that your scarf has slipped and is covering your eyes?

    Perhaps he'd like someone who is turned on by him rather than his profession and money? Hmm?

    You know, you're really very intelligent but love to do the dumb-dumb thing on here. Why?
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:42 PM GMT
    failscarf said
    meninlove said
    failscarf saidI don't see the problem actually.


    Oh good grief. Then may I suggest that your scarf has slipped and is covering your eyes?

    Perhaps he'd like someone who is turned on by him rather than his profession and money? Hmm?

    You know, you're really very intelligent but love to do the dumb-dumb thing on here. Why?



    If you see a problem then maybe you need to involve yourself in the dating world more often.



    icon_eek.gif

    icon_lol.gif ...and what do you think I was doing before I met Bill?

    I can't believe you were serious when you typed that. *still laughing*
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidThey should be careful what they find attractive in your employment. Wait until they're stuck at home and you're on call, working late or going in on the weekend. They'll take that off their 'oh I like' list and realize that it's not worth the cash.

    I agree with others, be generic in the wording so they don't know specifics until they get to know you well for who you are instead of what you do.


    Not true...I think my specialty has the most weekends off among others. The ORs only cater to emergency surgeries on the weekends. There are lots of anesthesiologists that take turns on weekends to cover just for a day. They should be careful when they are stuck with me at home...I'll put them to sleep...lol.
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:50 PM GMT
    RNMD said
    mybud saidGet used to a lot of gays more attracted to what jingles in your pocketsants rather than what lies within your heart.


    I'm sorry buddy...I have no room for that.


    A) fixed

    B) Not even room for that, huh? So you really are hung. I mean, um, you have a big heart. Okay, there's probably no graceful exist from here.

    C) While it can be a bit to very creepy to be used, sweet dreams are made of this. Is it just as creepy when a hetero female seeks out a financially successful husband to help raise securely and prosperously her children?

    Are gay people denied the inclination to nest though we don't breed?

    So before making a rash decision based on someone being impressed with your career, I think you need to judge where a person might be coming from. Is my main concern shopping or security? Am I more concerned for your social status, or am I worried that I don't make enough to afford both mine and your health insurance? Etc.

    Not everyone is either as capable or as inclined to make their way in this world. Living is more of a struggle for some than for others.

    In panning to get rid of gold diggers, if you're not careful you can wind up dumping back to the river some bits of that heart of gold.

  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Oct 04, 2013 4:52 PM GMT
    I kinda agree with scarf. I mean, ok, so your three dates said that your profession was on their list of 'good qualities my potential partner might have'. So what? You have your list, they have theirs. You want them to like you for you, OP, but does that preclude them liking you for being a responsible professional?

    Maybe there is more to this story you haven't told us... were these guys NOT financially, socially, professionally stable? If so, why are you dating them and then judging them for dating you (apparently for all the wrong reasons)?
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    Oct 04, 2013 4:58 PM GMT

    MikeW said, " I mean, ok, so your three dates said that your profession was on their list of 'good qualities my potential partner might have'. So what? You have your list, they have theirs. You want them to like you for you, OP, but does that preclude them liking you for being a responsible professional? "

    I agree with this, but not with the complete 'not a problem' silliness of failscarf.

    I'm my single years I went out with well over 100 men and found that some were, like you say, attracted to a responsible professional. There were also others who were looking for a status symbol. Blech, no thanks.
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    Oct 04, 2013 5:39 PM GMT
    The three were all professionals....

    1. Had a graduate degree in bilingual education....on our 4th date, mentioned that he wanted me to "live" with him so that he can have some help with is mortgage. No thanks....you bought the house, pay it yourself. Also, I'm not a lesbian, I don't pack my things on the 4th day. I sedated him.icon_biggrin.gif

    2. A pharmacist...blatantly said, "I like nice and expensive things. I'm quite addicted to it. You could give me what I want when we're together." Gosh, I sedated and paralyzed him.icon_lol.gif

    3. Works in forensic science. Very subtle...."I'm living with my brother right now and I really want to move out, maybe I can be your room mate." I'm not practicing hospice care....no thanks. I chopped his head off right there.icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 04, 2013 5:52 PM GMT
    Wow, what great catches those three were. Vomit.