Telling the person your dating that your a virgin....

  • Rich_Chambo

    Posts: 22

    Oct 06, 2013 10:55 AM GMT
    I have been on a couple of dates with a guy who I am seriously attracted to and we seem to get on really well.

    We have made out on the dates we have had so far and we both got a bit horny, and the next date he's invited me round to his house for diner and to sleep over..... The only problem is I'm a virgin. I want to tell him because I want to be honest with him but I am scared it will put him off me.

    He's 32 and has been in a relationship for 2 years with his ex. I'm 25 and have had a short relationship with someone but obviously never got round to being physical with the guy. I am just worried if I told him he wouldn't want to see me again. I do want to sleep with him because I really do like him and I do believe I want a relationship with him. I just don't want to ruin my chances with him. And if I don't tell him then I am worried I will be too nervous about having sex with him as i may not be able to "relax".

    We have spoke about sex and what we want to do with each other so he probably thinks I'm experienced when I'm not. I do know how to talk dirty and what I want to do with him though. I just wish I'd have told him before we started talking about sex.

    What should I do? Tell him and be honest or risk not telling him and hope he doesn't notice I'm not experienced?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 06, 2013 11:38 AM GMT
    Rich_Chambo said
    What should I do? Tell him and be honest or risk not telling him and hope he doesn't notice I'm not experienced?

    Not all gay sex is anal, which is the biggest challenge for a virgin, especially the bottom. Can you work into a conversation to inquire what kind of sex he likes, is he a top or bottom, maybe neither but likes oral?

    If he's a top then you'll likely want to tell him about your inexperience first, or else he can hurt you if he doesn't go extra slow & gentle. And you must insist he wear a condom - that's non-negotiable.

    But some guys welcome the opportunity to have a virgin and "break him in", so don't assume he'll react negatively when you tell him. This could work to your advantage.

    That's exactly what I did as a virgin bottom, and truthfully told the guy whom I had deliberately selected to "deflower" me about my plan, saying I trusted him not to hurt me. (And also because he had a very small dick, a private reason that I kept to myself)

    Well, he was both flattered and lusting at the prospect, and we prepared for the night like it was a big date. And it went quite well, actually, I found myself bottoming so eagerly he couldn't believe I was really a virgin at all.

    Techniques for other forms of gay sex you can research online, and we'll discuss with you right here, enough that you should do well. But again, if he's a top, then I think he needs to know about you beforehand, for his full satisfaction as well as yours.
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    Oct 06, 2013 2:29 PM GMT
    Does this include oral virgin?


    I would probably tell him personally. If he leaves then it's good riddance. If he's into you he probably won't care too much, and might even like it!

    Plus if you tell him, if you arent spectacular the first time, he'll know "oh its his first time" instead of thinking you just suck at sex LOL
  • Rich_Chambo

    Posts: 22

    Oct 07, 2013 10:51 AM GMT
    I decided to mention it briefly to him and not make it an issue. I don't want it to be a problem. He was ok at thanked me for being honest and told me I don't need to be nervous. He also said he still gets nervous if he sleeps with someone for the first time.

    I just feel he sees me differently. He said he doesn't but i feel he does. Maybe it's me over thinking things? We was sending flirty and sexual texts before I told him but now we don't seem to be doing that. He still wants me to go over to his house though so hopefully it will be all be great!
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    Oct 07, 2013 1:08 PM GMT
    You're thinking about this way too much because you're too concerned about what he thinks. Just be honest with him! And if he doesn't like your honesty, then you two are not meant to be together.
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    Oct 07, 2013 1:22 PM GMT
    what, are you 17? just tell him
  • Avgguy89

    Posts: 55

    Oct 07, 2013 1:33 PM GMT
    asdfghjklzxcvbnm saidwe don't need to know everything about your private life,especially sex life on the internet...some things should be kept to oneself. have a nice sunny day.


    If not turning to the internet for help...where the hell else is this kid supposed to go? Its a dating forum.

    You have a lot of experienced supportive people here Rich, all willing to give advice man. Hope things work out for you.
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    Oct 07, 2013 1:37 PM GMT
    ^^

    he's not a kid, he's friggin 25
  • Avgguy89

    Posts: 55

    Oct 07, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    Oh. Soooo he doesn't deserve advice because he waited till later in life to explore his sexuality. My bad. We're all on the same page now.
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    Oct 07, 2013 1:47 PM GMT
    it's not about "exploring sexuality" it's about growing some balls and telling the guy honestly
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Oct 07, 2013 1:47 PM GMT
    IRFire66 saidDoes this include oral virgin?


    I would probably tell him personally. If he leaves then it's good riddance. If he's into you he probably won't care too much, and might even like it!

    Plus if you tell him, if you arent spectacular the first time, he'll know "oh its his first time" instead of thinking you just suck at sex LOL




    Excellent advice from 66 and A.D.

    OP, pls ignore the other sarcastic haters on this thread.
  • Avgguy89

    Posts: 55

    Oct 07, 2013 1:57 PM GMT
    somersault saidit's not about "exploring sexuality" it's about growing some balls and telling the guy honestly


    I completely agree with you. It shouldn't be that big of a deal to just be openly honest with someone if he cares that much and is thinking about a relationship.

    I just can't figure out why he "shouldn't talk about his sex life here". I'm sorry but has asdfghjkl seen any other topics in this forum? ahahaha
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 08, 2013 1:36 AM GMT
    I understand being my age and asking this question but bro your 25
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2013 2:19 AM GMT
    Be honest and tell him.

    Once, I was with this really hot guy and he was all over me. And so I thought he was experienced. When I fucked him, it didn't go well. That's because it was his first time and we should have and could have taken it slower if I had known. Instead we both came away from the encounter feeling like we missed out on something special...because we did.

    As a top, if I had known that he was a virgin I would have gone slower and accepted that "it" might not happen on the first time. And, as a top, I'm ok with that because I want a virgin's first time to be really special, not rushed, and as pleasurable as possible. One guy who I was with who I knew was a virgin, it took about the third night for "it" to happen and it was really special. He came first. I allowed him to cum and enjoy my fullness, then I gently pulled out. He wanted me to go back in. I said, "Not this time, baby. This time it's all about you." He looked into my eyes, cried, kissed me, we cuddled and made love again later that night. It was special for both of us.

    Don't miss out on a special "first time". Tell him you're a virgin.
  • donnygg

    Posts: 19

    Nov 02, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    Rich_Chambo saidI decided to mention it briefly to him and not make it an issue. I don't want it to be a problem. He was ok at thanked me for being honest and told me I don't need to be nervous. He also said he still gets nervous if he sleeps with someone for the first time.

    I just feel he sees me differently. He said he doesn't but i feel he does. Maybe it's me over thinking things? We was sending flirty and sexual texts before I told him but now we don't seem to be doing that. He still wants me to go over to his house though so hopefully it will be all be great!


    I saw your new thread and thought it probably didn't work out between you and this guy. If you don't mind, may I ask what happened? Was it a deal breaker after all for him that you're a virgin?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 02, 2013 5:01 PM GMT
    From what your post says- i think you love him a lot. But dont attach your mind too much. Because he is not single, and he is now in a relationship and u are a virgin. U cant forget him, in your entire life, he is your 1st sexual partner. I am warning you, i faced the same problem in my life.
    Sorry lets come back to the thread-
    go ahead, and tell u are virgin... It will give him a clear idea, how to handle you smoothly, without much pain, lol.