A whole new meaning to being stood up!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 7:37 PM GMT
    I thought I'd share this story and see if anyone else had this happen and, if so, what their reaction was.

    I went to the City (SF) to meet a guy on Saturday. Had chatted online, spoke on the phone a couple of times. It was just to have coffee or a beer and walk around Union Square. A nice casual calm non-sexual hello.

    I get there, find him and we exchange pleasantries. I didn't feel it when we met for some reason, perhaps physical, I don't know but anyway we start to walk and end up at a brewery for a beer. I buy the first round and we chat. He mentions in the conversation "I hate Christians" and then "I hate all Christians". Well, I told him that I was a Christian and that, although I struggle to balance my life and my faith, I understood the reason a lot of gays don't like Christians. We had another beer and went on to talk about all sorts of other things. Very civil, casual. I get up and go to the restroom and when I return the table is cleaned off (my beer is gone) and the guy is gone. I think it's a joke at first or he's there and I'm not seeing him. But nope, he just left. Even if I didn't want to be there any longer, I would have had to balls to tell the other person and not just left while he was ridding himself of the last beer.

    Ever had that happen? Sort of knocks your self esteem down a notch or two.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 25, 2008 7:46 PM GMT
    Sounds to me like you dodged a serious bullet. I'd be happy things hadn't progressed and gotten more complicated before you guys parted ways.
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    Nov 25, 2008 7:56 PM GMT
    Very sad that someone would be such an ass, but chalk it up to him just being a complete loser and move on, you're much better without.

    Still sucks though, I would never just disappear like that.
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    Nov 25, 2008 8:11 PM GMT
    The JERK cowardly left!!! Please dont let this bother you. It's obviously him with issues.

    I would never just leave someone like that! Seems like the guy lacks brains and most importantly MANNERS!

    eb925guy - Your a cute and very nice guy and you know that icon_biggrin.gif. So on with the next icon_biggrin.gif.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 8:41 PM GMT
    That man has real problems. Be happy that that was the only manifestation of them that you had to endure.

    I remember once I drove a whole 5 minutes once to meet a guy....and I turned down a perfectly good trick in front of the hotel ...and then he didnt put out.....he got all pissy about the car door or something ... icon_rolleyes.gif












    icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    guys suck, for the most part.

    but yeah he was probably raped by priests as a kid, or he had severely christian parents disown him or something- take pity on him- he'll be a lot lonelier for a lot longer than you will. as others have said, it was a mercy that he left like an ass- at least you weren't lulled into actually dating the guy before seeing the real him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 9:28 PM GMT
    Hahaha, what a little bitch. I can just imagine he ran home to log onto his LiveJournal to angrily vent to the world about this awful homo Christian who doubtlessly was planning to try and convert him.

    To make such sweeping generalizations, he sounds like he's got his own cross to bear (*rimshot*) and unresolved issues of being hurt in the past; or he's just a ditzy bitch. Either way, good riddance.
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    Nov 25, 2008 9:40 PM GMT
    Well didn't the other guy raise the Christian issue first? Why bring that up out of nowhere? What a strange thing to throw out into the conversation, and then fixate on it.

    Departing while your date is away from the table? My ex lived in Paris for a number of years, and I know just what he'd say about this: "Très déclassé!" Indeed, and good riddance.
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    Nov 25, 2008 9:47 PM GMT
    You're better off without him. It just blow my mind that there are such inconsiderate fools out there. Tacky! He should have been a man about it. *hugs*
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    Nov 25, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    I am just recently back in the dating world after 10 years in relationship absentia.
    I must say, it is awkward at best. My problem has been that no matter how honest you are about what you want and what you don't want, etc. , a lot of guys just don't get it and won't go away without a fight. People have WAY too much access to your shit thanks to google, facebook, myspace, etc. and you just can't hide anymore.
    After my experiences these last few weeks, I think disappearing might be the most gracious thing anyone can actually do. I don't think I could ever actually jump ship like that mind you, but I can certainly relate to the feeling. icon_sad.gif

    (Clearing off your beer before you were finished however, is not cool at all).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 10:00 PM GMT
    Agree with all - a narrow escape, if a waste of beer.
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    Nov 25, 2008 10:03 PM GMT
    Consider yourself lucky. I found myself wondering why you didn't get up and leave during his psychotic rant! I know I would have, why should you be held prisoner of someone else's emotional baggage!

    I would have been more upset that my beverage was gone than he being gone.

    I would have had a WHEW I'm glad that's over moment!

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    Nov 25, 2008 10:18 PM GMT
    too bad for him.....good for you though. at first it sucks to be dumped like that BUT think...you gave it a try, it didn't work...move on. Youre better off w/o guys like that..imagine what he would be like 9 month down the line?
    Move on, its the best thing to do now.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Nov 25, 2008 10:27 PM GMT
    He is a loser. Sorry you experienced that. I think as gay men there is a lot for us to challenge and be angry at many organized religions for, but let's at least be civil. Especially in your case! What an intolerant jackass. I don't think I'd want to be his friend let alone his date, so you're probably better off.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 25, 2008 10:56 PM GMT
    I woulda went if I were you Whew I never woulda thought that asshole would leave

    But when someone makes a blanket idiotic statement like that ....

    That's when I go into full playful mode
    icon_biggrin.gif
    All Christians?
    I'm an Episcopalian Priest Yeah, that's what I do
    Hate's such and Ugly word
    People who hate ... it usually shows up in their face
    Lemme see a minute ... Yeah, Yeah You're right You really do hate Christians

    You like Kugel?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 10:58 PM GMT
    Hey, Don. As we've chatted I know what a cool guy you are. His behaviour is quite frankly bizarre - I guess for some people saying goodbye is just too hard. But I'm delighted you're hitting the dating pool. Unfortunately you'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince, so keep checking in here for jolts of support. I must say that while I've also felt 'guys suck' with disheartening regularity, seeing the warm, wise and compassionate responses the guys in these forums give to each other gives me hope.

    luv yaicon_lol.gif
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:03 PM GMT
    Caslon8000 said I remember once I drove a whole 5 minutes once to meet a guy....and I turned down a perfectly good trick in front of the hotel ...and then he didnt put out.....he got all pissy about the car door or something ...
    Why did I just know that I would get that response from you! LOL I saw that trick, you'd better be happy I came along when I did!
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:12 PM GMT
    hmm, that's really odd.

    1. its a dick thing to do.
    2. its strange because there is nothing more enjoyable than convincing christians that their entire belief system is null. this is like the worst atheist ever.

    yeah, it sounds like you did dodge a bullet with this guy. don't let it ruin all anti-christians for you.


    "happy holidays"
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:12 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidI thought I'd share this story and see if anyone else had this happen and, if so, what their reaction was.

    I went to the City (SF) to meet a guy on Saturday. Had chatted online, spoke on the phone a couple of times. It was just to have coffee or a beer and walk around Union Square. A nice casual calm non-sexual hello.

    I get there, find him and we exchange pleasantries. I didn't feel it when we met for some reason, perhaps physical, I don't know but anyway we start to walk and end up at a brewery for a beer. I buy the first round and we chat. He mentions in the conversation "I hate Christians" and then "I hate all Christians". Well, I told him that I was a Christian and that, although I struggle to balance my life and my faith, I understood the reason a lot of gays don't like Christians. We had another beer and went on to talk about all sorts of other things. Very civil, casual. I get up and go to the restroom and when I return the table is cleaned off (my beer is gone) and the guy is gone. I think it's a joke at first or he's there and I'm not seeing him. But nope, he just left. Even if I didn't want to be there any longer, I would have had to balls to tell the other person and not just left while he was ridding himself of the last beer.

    Ever had that happen? Sort of knocks your self esteem down a notch or two.


    I think he broke several man laws there, especially having them clear your beer away before you finished it. Seriously, you're better off that he left this early instead of hanging around to prevent the inevitable. Unfortunately, that's how dating goes, and it sucks big time, and not in the good way.
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:14 PM GMT
    mnjock2003 said I think disappearing might be the most gracious thing anyone can actually do. I don't think I could ever actually jump ship like that mind you, but I can certainly relate to the feeling.
    (Clearing off your beer before you were finished however, is not cool at all).
    mnjock, funny you should say this because perhaps he sensed, appropriately so, that this was going NO where beyond beer and conversation. And please keep in mind that when I left and called a friend I couldn't stop laughing to leave him a voicemail, I found it funny. My ego was hardly bruised but when I ask the waitress about whether he paid for the beer (wasn't going to screw her over in the deal) and that he had stood me up, her reaction was "that sucks" and my response was "not really!"...and we both laughed.
    Clearing off my beer was the most painful part of the whole ordeal!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:17 PM GMT
    EricLA saidHe is a loser. Sorry you experienced that. I think as gay men there is a lot for us to challenge and be angry at many organized religions for, but let's at least be civil. Especially in your case! What an intolerant jackass. I don't think I'd want to be his friend let alone his date, so you're probably better off.
    I agree with you Eric on the challenge with religion and I had actually told him that I really struggle with it primarily because of how many treat the gay community and how ignorant they are of what they quote and say. It's not like I'm leaning with the right on this one....it really angers me too. Thanks for the input and kind words.
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:19 PM GMT
    Tonyvoyager saidHey, Don. As we've chatted I know what a cool guy you are. His behaviour is quite frankly bizarre - I guess for some people saying goodbye is just too hard. But I'm delighted you're hitting the dating pool. Unfortunately you'll have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince, so keep checking in here for jolts of support. I must say that while I've also felt 'guys suck' with disheartening regularity, seeing the warm, wise and compassionate responses the guys in these forums give to each other gives me hope.

    luv yaicon_lol.gif
    Thanks Tony, yep...it's nice to have so much support. That's what keeps me coming back to RJ...well, ok that and all those hot pics you guys take! LOL
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:21 PM GMT
    blinktwice4y saidhmm, that's really odd.

    1. its a dick thing to do.
    2. its strange because there is nothing more enjoyable than convincing christians that their entire belief system is null. this is like the worst atheist ever.

    yeah, it sounds like you did dodge a bullet with this guy. don't let it ruin all anti-christians for you.


    "happy holidays"
    Thanks man! Nah, I still love all the anti-Christians just the same! LOL You're too funny. Happy Holidays to you too.
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    OK here is my true confession. Hopefully you guys will find this amusing and not too nutty.

    Years ago when I lived in LA I hooked up with a guy who was into military haircuts. There is a "famous" guy (not the same one) called Roger who has a sort of marine barber shop in his house.

    I was taken by my "friend" to Roger's barber shop, stripped down, strapped to the chair, given a high-and-tight, and that was pretty much it. My "friend" enjoyed it, I got a free haircut, and I enjoyed it too because I love going to the barbers (though the whole mix of things here is not my "thing" I am very open minded).

    Afterwards we went back to this guys apartment and we started messing around. He was on top of me and I was lying back on his bed. The whole thing was very enjoyable and I was smiling.

    Apparently he thought it would be hot to slap the smile off of my face and he hauled of and did so. Thing is, he did it from the left hand side and I am blind in my left eye. I didn't see it coming.

    Before I knew what I had done I punched the guy in the face and laid him out stone cold on the floor - unconscious.

    Of course, I was devastated. At that minute I will admit there was the temptation to just walk out the door (just for a split second). Anyway, I stayed and revived the poor sap, got him a drink of water.

    Then meekly I said, I think I had better get going. He replied "yeah, I think you should".

    Dating in California - ah those where the days.


    Next time I will tell you the one about the LEATHERMAN and the BUNNY SLIPPERS in San Francisco.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 25, 2008 11:30 PM GMT
    That guy has more issues than a subscription to TIME Magazine... Don't spend a minute trying to figure that one out -- he's a loser and you're well rid of him.