Trouble viewing myself

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 08, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    I would consider myself a confident guy to an extent. When it comes to people I use consistent eye contact without getting nervous, and my 6 foot 3 demeanor definitely helps with reinforcing my confidence. But I have some trouble with how I'm perceived sexually. I have an attractive personality in general (as in I'm a people person and usually well liked). But because I haven't been in any real relationships before or had any meaningful hookups, I have trouble knowing if I'm considered sexy or physically attractive. I feel too neutral, girls or guys don't ever tell me I'm attractive. I've been told I'm eye candy by a co worker but then again by what standard. I'm the only guy where I work so of course I'd be considered "eye candy" I can be a really goofy person sometimes, laughing a lot and joking a lot when my mood is at its best. Does that make me less attractive because I'm not serious all the time? I have friends who have girls and guys hit on them all the time and call them hot to their faces, that doesn't happen to me frequently. And I have a horrible sense of judgement of knowing if someone finds me attractive or not. I know people who just know they are sexy and you can tell they know it, and even use their looks to get what they want. Does being friendly make one less attractive? How do I get a better self image of myself and how I'm perceived by others as far as my level of sexual attraction. I understand personality is a big part and I know I have an attractive personality as I've been told, but deep down I am a sexual person and crave to be desired. I just never feel like people are thinking "I want to fuck the shit out of him". Maybe I'm just blind and people really do think that but are intimidated by something about me? Sorry if this comes off as shallow...
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    Oct 08, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    Well in my opinion there are different categories of confident. Depends on what it is I'm doing. In my profession I am very confident because I am good at what I do. But I guess that has nothing to do with sexual attraction. So no. As far as confidence in my sexual attractiveness no I am not confident. icon_sad.gif but like I said I have trouble viewing myself. I can't have confidence in something that I'm unsure of.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Oct 08, 2013 6:07 PM GMT
    Even without seeing a photo of you, I can tell you that some people are going to find you (visually) attractive and some are not. That's just the way it is. Way too many variables to contemplate (age, height, weight, proportions, complexion, etc.)

    That said, the sexier YOU FEEL about yourself, the more likely you are to project that sexuality around you and, thus, the more others may be attracted to your sexual presence.

    It is something to work on.
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    Oct 08, 2013 6:10 PM GMT
    MikeW saidEven without seeing a photo of you, I can tell you that some people are going to find you (visually) attractive and some are not. That's just the way it is. Way too many variables to contemplate (age, height, weight, proportions, complexion, etc.)

    That said, the sexier YOU FEEL about yourself, the more likely you are to project that sexuality around you and, thus, the more others may be attracted to your sexual presence.

    It is something to work on.
    thanks a lot. I appreciate that. I have some work to do. I need to start believing that I am attractive sexually. And I need to build my self confidence more. I didn't really grow up in a positive family that gives praise, so confidence and self esteem is something I've been trying to grasp for a while.