New Friends While Dating... Is It Weird?

  • mich_jock

    Posts: 19

    Oct 09, 2013 5:28 PM GMT
    Hey everyone, I just moved in with my bf to a new city this summer and finding new buds has been tough. I'm used to being surrounded by friends, but after meeting my bf, I was very complacent with just hanging out with him.

    I've been meeting new people online, which has been going pretty well. I'll admit, I pick people to hang out with kind of like I would pick people to date/hookup/whatever.

    Recently, I met up with this really laid-back cool dude. I was very upfront about just looking for buds and I told my bf about him and we all met up. My bf walked away to the bathroom and this guy says that he doesn't want to cause any trouble. I'm not sure what that really means since I was clear I just was looking for friends--so does he feel really awkward 3rd wheeling?

    What have other people's experiences with this been like? I've been the 3rd wheel constantly for a lot of my friends and I just roll with it, but I just don't know if it's different with gay dudes (my friends are straight).

    Any insight would be appreciated.

    Also with this guy in particular, yes I'll admit if I were single, I'd want to be more than friends probably, but right now in my 2 year, committed relationship I obviously would not.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2013 5:34 PM GMT

    mich, what does this mean?

    "I'll admit, I pick people to hang out with kind of like I would pick people to date/hookup/whatever."


    -intrigued
  • mich_jock

    Posts: 19

    Oct 09, 2013 5:39 PM GMT
    I mean that I look for a similar type of guy as the type of guy that I would want to date. I like people who are interesting, active, intelligent, and good looking doesn't hurt. I'm doing it wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2013 6:30 PM GMT
    Does your bf know you have a profile on here? How do you think he would feel after hearing you admit that you "pick people to hang out with kind of like I would pick people to date/hookup/whatever."

    Have you and your bf committed to a *monogamous* relationship? From checking out your RJ profile it wouldn't seem so. Your profile also makes no mention of your relationship status but does indicate that you are

    Looking for: Friends, Dating or Relationship, Hookup, Training Buddies, Online Chat

    You weren't specific about what sites you're using to meet people online, but if you take this same approach when you create a profile on other websites, most guys would assume that on some level you'd be open to naked fun.

    Also, "looking for buds" is one of the many nebulous phrases I've seen in online profiles for years and years that leads me to shrug and and wonder to myself, "what does that even mean?".
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Oct 09, 2013 7:11 PM GMT
    Look for other couples to be friends with.

    If you're online state you're a couple looking for other couples to be social with, and state that you're not looking to hook-up.

    Look for activities that can lead to meeting new people and making friends - social groups, sport teams, volunteer opportunities. Bars and online hook-up sites probably aren't the best place to meet friends although I'm sure it can be done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2013 7:39 PM GMT
    mich_jock saidI mean that I look for a similar type of guy as the type of guy that I would want to date. I like people who are interesting, active, intelligent, and good looking doesn't hurt. I'm doing it wrong.


    Yes, you are.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 09, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    Why are u looking for friends online?? what the hell is happening on the other side of the world, sooo much effort for friendship. Yooooo, mina ( I )personally, would not go to so much trouble just for friendship, especially if they will be no benefits. Try to be friends with people who are around u.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 09, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
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