Can someone tell me if you were bullied worse than what I've been through from my past? I just want to know.

  • MasterAqua

    Posts: 38

    Oct 09, 2013 11:54 PM GMT
    I've been through hurt. Almost close to being choked to death. Being beaten every single day in my past. Being made fun of which isn't really bad but if you're in a public place then there is a problem. I've been in a mild concussion because a guy pushed me down and I hit my head real hard against the hinge of the door that was behind me. I've been harassed by adults, teens, and kids. I've been abused by adults. They've taken away my freedom and privileges from socializing with other people in public. icon_cry.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 10, 2013 7:01 AM GMT
    wow buddy, i am sorry to hear that you have been through so much in your life. however, it seems like you might need to seek out some help if you are finding it hard to socialize with others.
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    Oct 10, 2013 7:06 AM GMT
    Never went through bullying thank god I was usually the kid who was friends with the bullied kids..its the natural protector in me.. you can't allow people to treat you that way forever
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    Oct 10, 2013 1:33 PM GMT
    No, I haven't gone through anything like you. But for a time in middle school, I was heavily bullied. I got my books stolen before a test, my clothes soaked in ketchup while I was in PE, the tires of my bike slashed several times. What made it particularly disspiriting was that in each instance, the bully acted in full view of others, who did absolutely nothing and refused to tell me who it was.

    I read the practical advice above: stand up for yourself, ask for help, etc. That's all good stuff. But I think it's more important to address how you may be feeling on the inside. It took me years to accept one simple fact:

    It wasn't my fault. It's not your fault, either.

    Bullies pick a target out of convenience, not out of a sense of justice. They choose the person they believe is least likely to make them look bad, because bullying is all about looking good. If you have been bullied once, you are automatically a target again, because you made a bully look good in the past.

    But that says nothing about you. Whatever you have endured in the past (it's hopefully all over), it wasn't your fault. It eventually ends when you start being able to control your own life and make choices about where you want to be and with whom.

    The best revenge is a life well lived.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4435

    Oct 10, 2013 2:32 PM GMT
    You need therapy buddy. Obviously you don't know how to create a "You" that commands respect. Who are the adults who bullied you? Was it physical? Was there sexual abuse? If "Yes" then report it to authorities. If you can, get the hell out of that small town and into a city where lifestyle options are more varied, even if it involves changing schools. You're 19. That's a good age to start taking control of your life. Therapy will help you understand that what happened is past and not necessarily the future but no more. To make changes will require you to actively do it. I'd also suggest you get a haircut and start going to the gym and also maybe a martial arts class. Physical confidence is communicated. Be pro-active with your life! What happened wasn't your fault but that doesn't mean you don't need to do something to change your life.
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    Oct 10, 2013 7:17 PM GMT
    take shrooms
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    Oct 10, 2013 7:29 PM GMT
    I dont think this is strictly a bully problem but more like you need to gain confidence and social skils to face your everyday life.
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    Oct 10, 2013 7:33 PM GMT
    I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Never got bullied but did had to deal with racism.
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 10, 2013 7:34 PM GMT
    venue35 saidI'm really sorry to hear that but you really need to,start standing up for your self. You can't let people disrespect you like that. You have every right to be here just like anybody else and you deserve respect. I don't know why you draw so much attention though....if there is something about your appearance I can't tell from your picture. Are you very androgynous looking or something like that? Even if that's the case , nobody has the right to make fun of you or physically harm you. What do your parents have to say about all this?? Next time someone lays a finger on you call 911 from your cell phone.


    Hypocrite much?! icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 10, 2013 7:43 PM GMT
    David3000 saidI dont think this is strictly a bully problem but more like you need to gain confidence and social skils to face your everyday life.


    Been there and people didnt know i was gay. I didnt even know until a few yrs ago. I was never physically bullied because i was shy and didnt have the confidence. My advice to you is start working on yourself. Go to the gym start building your body. I know that sounds shallow but its a shallow world. Plus work on your inner self too, As David had said confidence is your issue. Good luck
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    Oct 10, 2013 7:51 PM GMT
    I guess there has to be somebody to bully and you have decided to be that person. It's interesting that at 155 lbs in high school no one bullied me and you are the same weight. Adults are kinda wimpy and slow so I never took anything from them either .
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    Oct 10, 2013 8:02 PM GMT
    Alpha13 saidI guess there has to be somebody to bully and you have decided to be that person. It's interesting that at 155 lbs in high school no one bullied me and you are the same weight. Adults are kinda wimpy and slow so I never took anything from them either .


    I can't believe what I just read.. "you decided to be that person." Seriously?? Since when is being bullied a decision??

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    Oct 10, 2013 8:04 PM GMT
    I was bullied in school from 7 th grade to 10 grade when I move to live with my dad. It was really bad! Yes I got beat up, called faggot and many other names. It did help when your mother was sleeping with a black man I a very racist city. My brother was openly gay. I wasn't. It didn't matter I was short and skinny a easy target. I look back at that time and was surprise how I survived. Today I'm in the best shape of my life and those ass holes who treated me like shirt I could kick their asses if I wanted too! But to be honest I could careless! I truly believe what come around goes around! So stand up for your self! If you not strong enough then start lifting weights, eat right and live your life the way you want. Let no one dictate how you want to live your live but you!
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    Oct 11, 2013 3:31 AM GMT
    To the OP , my solidarity , plz dont give in , be strong , to anyone abusing u , even if i were molested or bullied ,i will at most give one big iron punch to anyone who oppresses me for sure
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    Oct 11, 2013 3:36 AM GMT
    It sounds like the group of people around you in your life plain suck and have issues of their own. You need to use the "law of attraction" to get them all out of your life. Start focusing on all the things you want and stop thinking about all the bad stuff. It will turn around. You may also want to look into EFT to remove the damage. EFT by Gary Craig... it's tapping on your meridians thinking of all the events that happened one at a time. You remove remove the hurt and anger if you do this correct in minutes. Read the book over and over until you know it perfectly. EFT the manual by Gary Craig. Good Luck!!!
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    Oct 11, 2013 3:45 AM GMT
    centralnjguy saidIt sounds like the group of people around you in your life plain suck and have issues of their own. You need to use the "law of attraction" to get them all out of your life. Start focusing on all the things you want and stop thinking about all the bad stuff. It will turn around. You may also want to look into EFT to remove the damage. EFT by Gary Craig... it's tapping on your meridians thinking of all the events that happened one at a time. You remove remove the hurt and anger if you do this correct in minutes. Read the book over and over until you know it perfectly. EFT the manual by Gary Craig. Good Luck!!!


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Emotional_Freedom_Techniques
    An article in the Skeptical Inquirer argued that there is no plausible mechanism to explain how the specifics of EFT could add to its effectiveness, and they have been described as unfalsifiable and therefore pseudoscientific.[4] Evidence has not been found for the existence of meridians or other concepts involved in traditional Chinese medicine.[5]

    A Delphi poll of an expert panel of psychologists rated EFT on a scale describing how discredited EFT has been in the field of psychology. On average, this panel found EFT had a score of 3.8 on a scale from 1.0 to 5.0, with 3.0 meaning "possibly discredited" and a 4.0 meaning "probably discredited."[6] A book examining pseudoscientific practices in psychology characterized EFT as one of a number of "fringe psychotherapeutic practices,"[7] and a psychiatry handbook states EFT has "all the hallmarks of pseudoscience."[8]

    EFT, along with its predecessor, Thought Field Therapy, has been dismissed with warnings to avoid their use by publications such as the The Skeptic's Dictionary[9] and Quackwatch.
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    Oct 11, 2013 3:48 AM GMT
    Kid , i would say that u being in a western nation taking the abuse shows the lack of awareness what a gay man is capable of !
    ur nation has gay rights , thousands of organizations , politicians , celebs to help you

    imagine middle eastern world , even if a rumor is heard about a boy , the childs brother or father would do an honor killing & the next day a headless body would emerge , no one would even care ,no media , no hype , that's how kids have passed on here & I still am !

    be strong use your privileges & charge the bully , your nation gives u the right , don't be scared , pray to the lord & move on !
    learn from me i don't get scared even from the extremist people here

    All alone I'm making a mark !
    stand up for yourself
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    Oct 11, 2013 3:52 AM GMT
    My heart goes out to anyone who's been a victim of bullying. I was very fortunate in this area. Some of the horror stories that I've read about make me wonder how kids survive. It also makes me wonder why there isn't more outrage among the public.

    At the school I went to, we didn't even put locks on our lockers, much less have to worry about bullies.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 11, 2013 4:22 AM GMT
    I'm sorry you have been bullied. Life can be really cruel and you have to either learn to become invisible or learn to fight back. The good news is as you get older the people change and the idiots disappear. I think you have made a good start by coming in here. Even though you are not face to face talking to someone, you can learn some social skill by interacting forums. It may help if you describe situations of what happened and get input on how you handled them and how you should have handled them and that way you will learn what to do in the future if the situation should repeat itself. I hope things get better for you soon.
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    Oct 11, 2013 10:47 AM GMT
    Ammon said
    Alpha13 saidI guess there has to be somebody to bully and you have decided to be that person. It's interesting that at 155 lbs in high school no one bullied me and you are the same weight. Adults are kinda wimpy and slow so I never took anything from them either .


    I can't believe what I just read.. "you decided to be that person." Seriously?? Since when is being bullied a decision??



    I saw it all the time in school. All kids weren't bullied. The syndrome is written about is dozens of "self help" books since the 1940's. Two best sellers were "The power of positive thinking " by Norman Vincent Peale and "The greatest salesman in the world." By Og Medina. Charles Atlas ran an ad for body building so as not to be bullied in the back of magazines for decades.
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    Oct 11, 2013 11:51 AM GMT
    I got bullied and punched when I was growing up. Elementary school through Junior High were a nightmare for me. I'd lie in bed awake afraid of going to school the next day because I knew how horrible it would be having spend the entire day getting called names and having everyone stop and talk behind my back as I passed them by. When it was lunch time, all the other kids would pick up they're lunche trays and move to another table. And the people who I thought were my friends in Elementary school...Ha! What a bunch of backstabbers. And then having to ride home on the school bus, that was even worse.

    Then finally that all stopped when I moved to MI and went to a new school. All the other kids were so nice and welcoming. But when I look back now at the memories of my childhood and those hellish days going to school. I believe that what I went through all those years ago, has now made me stronger.
  • TannerMasseur

    Posts: 7893

    Oct 11, 2013 1:21 PM GMT
    venue35 said
    spgem said
    venue35 saidI'm really sorry to hear that but you really need to,start standing up for your self. You can't let people disrespect you like that. You have every right to be here just like anybody else and you deserve respect. I don't know why you draw so much attention though....if there is something about your appearance I can't tell from your picture. Are you very androgynous looking or something like that? Even if that's the case , nobody has the right to make fun of you or physically harm you. What do your parents have to say about all this?? Next time someone lays a finger on you call 911 from your cell phone.


    Hypocrite much?! icon_smile.gif
    this thread isn't about you.


    Listen to ur own words from the idiotic comment u made about another member & me on another thread & what u said above hypocrite icon_smile.gif .....
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    Oct 11, 2013 1:22 PM GMT
    Alpha13 said
    Ammon said
    Alpha13 saidI guess there has to be somebody to bully and you have decided to be that person. It's interesting that at 155 lbs in high school no one bullied me and you are the same weight. Adults are kinda wimpy and slow so I never took anything from them either .


    I can't believe what I just read.. "you decided to be that person." Seriously?? Since when is being bullied a decision??



    I saw it all the time in school. All kids weren't bullied. The syndrome is written about is dozens of "self help" books since the 1940's. Two best sellers were "The power of positive thinking " by Norman Vincent Peale and "The greatest salesman in the world." By Og Medina. Charles Atlas ran an ad for body building so as not to be bullied in the back of magazines for decades.


    The call sign for one of my parents' boats was Papa Papa Tango, the PPT and other boats sometimes hailed us, asking if the Reverend was aboard. My folks were among his biggest fans so I was raised on this stuff. But there are limits to it and it can be misunderstood when overgeneralized.

    as themachine saidIf you have been bullied once, you are automatically a target again, because you made a bully look good in the past.


    So sometimes these kids can't get out of this shit on their own and through no fault of their own.

    Nobody ever fucked with me until some individuals on this very website who I simply told fuck off and clicked onto ignore. Growing up, I didn't just see it, rather, I used to place myself between a bully and his victim, I'd get inside the bully's head and turn him on himself. I never had to use bodily force. I do recall at that time determining if the perceived victim was being unfairly bullied or if that person shared culpability. If I thought them "asking for it", I'd not interfere but just let it play out.

    Some lessons are only learned the hard way while others need never be taught.

    Some people like to think new age thinking so very edgy (I find it has gone badly astray since Castaneda, with most of its ideas simply stolen from elsewhere--better to be understood in their original form--but that's just me) but, particularly when taking theory and applying to the real world, it can be dangerously two edged.

    For instance, while it is completely appropriate to point out that we are responsible for our own lives, it is absolutely inappropriate either to ever blame a victim (and I'm not talking the passive aggressive creeps who entice suffering but those who simply don't have proper tools to fend off or defend from attacks), nor does citing self-directed destiny ever substitute a lack of empathy, however well it might mask it.
  • lgg5819

    Posts: 141

    Oct 11, 2013 1:26 PM GMT
    start by shaving your face, getting a new haircut, and updating your clothes. not trying to be mean, but looks go a long way in this world. it's just a fact of life you're going to have to accept sooner or later. get yourself looking good, and some confidence will inevitably come along with it. once you have a little self confidence, the world is yours for the taking.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Oct 11, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    MasterAqua saidI've been through hurt. Almost close to being choked to death. Being beaten every single day in my past. Being made fun of which isn't really bad but if you're in a public place then there is a problem. I've been in a mild concussion because a guy pushed me down and I hit my head real hard against the hinge of the door that was behind me. I've been harassed by adults, teens, and kids. I've been abused by adults. They've taken away my freedom and privileges from socializing with other people in public. icon_cry.gif
    Dude...Call social services in your city or state and report it...If this is indeed true,it's against the law.Second...Consider this website as a resource as well as a welcoming community....Steve