New to all of this

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 10, 2013 11:13 PM GMT
    Ok. I'm 40 have two children and am separated from my wife. I am living with my girlfriend and yet I have these feelings of wanting a man. I have been with one man before for four encounters and loved it, yet I struggle with this duality I am experiencing. Any and all advice welcome. I do see myself as loving both sexes, each offer a different experience but I am so confused by all of this and all the pent up repression.
  • PolitiMAC

    Posts: 728

    Oct 10, 2013 11:18 PM GMT
    Well, what's wrong with going with both? If I were in this situation, I would try to deal with the girlfriend and how she feels with this icon_razz.gif But if she's on board and accepts it, then why not go with that flow?

    Now seeing as though you have a girlfriend, that might be hard to juggle with sleeping with guys icon_razz.gif Just by the logistics of timing as well as her feelings towards it.

    But think about it, what really has changed? You like both sexes. And that's the whole picture.

    The part that no one here can help with is just dealing with the personal relationships of your kids, your girlfriend and maybe even your ex-wife, depending on whether she is still involved with your life, and due to you having children, I would wager that she might. But I may be wrong icon_razz.gif
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    Oct 10, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    Thanks. My ex wife and kids are cool with it and I just need to approach my girlfriend on it. She does know about me and my past and accepted it. Both would be an ideal outcome!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2013 2:05 AM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with exploring your sexuality or being bi.

    However, if you are living with a girlfriend, you'll want to be respectful of her feelings. Unless she is open to an open relationship, you'll need to choose between acting on your gay curiosity and being with her.

    Before bringing the topic up, you might want to consider having a plan B in case she wants to end things and you need an alternate living arrangement.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2013 3:39 AM GMT
    I enjoyed 10 years with a practicing bi guy in my 20s-30s. Back then it was a lot of fun and had he survived we'd have figured it out but to start a similar relationship today when I'm looking at the end game, you never know who you'll fall for but a bi would not be my first preference this time around.

    If you're going to be hitting on 20somethings either by preference or in trying to recapture what you lost by not fully enjoying your orientation when you were younger, they still have time to play. But if you are looking in the 40 and up category, you may have some logistical concerns.