Is there Life and Love after Love?

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    Nov 26, 2008 5:50 PM GMT
    How many of you are now in a satisfying, loving LTR AFTER having been in a previous LTR that ended badly?

    About 4 years ago, I left a 15 year relationship that ended in pain and dissappointment. Looking back, I can't believe how much abuse I put up with. We weren't growing together. Learned a lot about love and what I need from a guy, and what I could give if I wanted another LTR.

    But I'm really enjoying being single, and for me, it's a very special life of adventure and opportunty, for many reasons. And I don't know if I have it in me to get into another LTR again.

    Still, I remember when things were really good in my previous relationship, and there is somethng special about being in love, growing together.

    My question is......how many of you overcame your hesitancy and found love again?

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    Nov 26, 2008 5:53 PM GMT


    Hello KissingPro,

    This is Bill. I did. I was in a relationship for 12 years before one day I got up and left and emotionally abusive situation. I dated a few times and three months into that met Doug. Three weeks later we 'married' on the beach.
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    Nov 26, 2008 5:55 PM GMT
    hi bill,

    WOW......so there is hope............
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    Nov 26, 2008 6:07 PM GMT


    Doug now - Bill's reticent on these forums - prefers to dictate to his secretary. You drew him out with this one!

    Hope? Sure you can look at it that way. Doug's spidey-sense tingling - says it's more a certainty than a hope! (Bill nodding head at Doug, both of us winking at you online.) icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif
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    Nov 26, 2008 8:13 PM GMT
    II think you probably meant something different when you wrote, ended badly, but in a way, my experience qualifies because my previous lover from a LTR died. I was broken hearted for over a year but it would not have made any difference as far as my love life was concerned because I was hard at work at the time studying for an advanced degree. However, by the time I got out of school I was ready to have some fun and dated and played around a lot. It is important to have a good time while single, especially important if you want to have another LTR because the happiness that you carry with you is a qualifier for your next relationship. Slightly more than two years after my first lover died I found the present love of my life and we are still together after almost 18 years.
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    Nov 26, 2008 8:33 PM GMT
    Well, for me, there is life minus the love AFTER love. I had taken a look back at all the dumb asses that I had put up with & realised that my self-respect & integrity are NOT worth sacrificing. Now if he was crude to you, keep in mind karma does pay a visit. Now, if you're lucky to get someone who treats you like an equal human being, you don't go back to settling for shit, period. A lot of people seem to think I am the biggest asshole (like that bothers me) but deep down inside, I can be one of the sweetest folks on the face of this earth, I just don't show it much because people seem to take kindness for a sign of either weakness or someone who's craving attention, at all costs. However, you said that you have gotten used to being single & are happy, I commend you for that because the moment you take another shot & he acts up just like the last one you had, you have the option to leave him alone & you've got something to fall back on. Me, on the other hand, I've been there & I've done that; I am hesitant on giving someone another shot because I don't want to be hurt again. It's something I don't deserve because I try to keep a good heart, instead letting it turn cold. Instead of sitting around waiting for love, like a fool, I decided to take that time given to focus on me. Meninlove & for the others who got VERY lucky with a second time around, more power to you. But who knows, maybe there still is hope for the...icon_question.gif Dammit I can't think of that word...lol Ah, yes there it is...Future! But until then, I am doing bad by myself.
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    Nov 26, 2008 8:42 PM GMT
    I think there definitely is hope for finding love again. I dated a guy I loved even though it was an extremely emotionally abusive relationship. I thought I'd never be able to put myself out there again. Then I started dating my current boyfriend, and he has been great.

    He made me realize that all the people who mistreated and abused me did so not because of anything I did, but because of their own problems. He also helped me deal with all the shame and guilt I had internalized growing up gay in Catholic elementary, middle, and high schools, and the anger that I felt towards those institutions for teaching me all those horrible things about gay people once I came out.

    I'm doing a lot better than I was when I first met him. So there is hope, you'll find love. You just need to go do the things that you care about, and that make you happy. Eventually, someone will come along, usually when you're not even looking
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    Nov 26, 2008 8:49 PM GMT
    This information all you guys are giving me is incredible. I really appreciate it.