Does it make me a douche?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 11, 2013 10:52 PM GMT
    I try to take care of my body, and it really doesn't require that much time. I don't understand people who don't work out, at least a little. I find myself attracted to people who take care of their bodies (abs are kind of my thing).

    Unfortunately, there aren't too many people who fit into that category around me. I don't go out of my way to talk to people who aren't in some sort of shape (I'm not talking super ripped, just someone who cares enough to get motivated and lose the gut.), and I think people are starting to view it as douchey.

    Is this an unreasonable viewpoint?
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  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 11, 2013 11:27 PM GMT
    You only talk to fit people? Yea its kunda douchey.
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    Oct 11, 2013 11:29 PM GMT
    No, it's not douchey at all. You have high standards, which someone who invests a lot of time and effort into themselves should, and others don't live up to those standards. Plain and simple.
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:15 AM GMT
    LoveAndPeace saidYou only talk to fit people? Yea its kunda douchey.


    I talk to other people, I'm just not interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who isn't in shape.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 12, 2013 2:37 AM GMT
    trav1800 said
    LoveAndPeace saidYou only talk to fit people? Yea its kunda douchey.


    I talk to other people, I'm just not interested in pursuing a relationship with someone who isn't in shape.
    Oh ok its fine.
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:42 AM GMT
    It is douchey. And, you're not really that hot either. Better start working on your insides or you're going to be very, very lonely in life.

    And, this from a 48 year old.
  • rakim87

    Posts: 6

    Oct 12, 2013 2:48 AM GMT
    trav1800 saidI try to take care of my body, and it really doesn't require that much time. I don't understand people who don't work out, at least a little. I find myself attracted to people who take care of their bodies (abs are kind of my thing).

    Unfortunately, there aren't too many people who fit into that category around me. I don't go out of my way to talk to people who aren't in some sort of shape (I'm not talking super ripped, just someone who cares enough to get motivated and lose the gut.), and I think people are starting to view it as douchey.

    Is this an unreasonable viewpoint?
    icon_confused.gif


    It's shallow. Even if you weren't in shape you would find yourself doing it because on some level that's what we're really thinking about. Nothing to be ashamed of but if you want to find someone with a personality maybe start noticing people on that level as well.
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:55 AM GMT
    It's just a double standard because it's not like you're very fit or good looking yourself. So you basically have the "do as I say not as I do" attitude, and that's not very attractive in anyone.
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:55 AM GMT
    No its not douchey, I think alot of gay guys problems with dating is they expect to get some sexy hot man without putting in the work themselves. Do you mean that you dont talk to them as dating prospects or that yu just dont talk to them at all ? if its not at all then that is a problem
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Oct 12, 2013 3:52 AM GMT
    Lets put it his way, I used to be fat! now that I am thin I'm being told that I am too thin!? go figure!! my body type may had dramatically changed, but I am still the same person I've always being! I started weight training about a month ago to hopefully start gaining some serious muscle mass, and so far I am pleased with the results. I do hope and pray that when I do get there that I will be the same person I am today! Oh God I hope so, because otherwise I will hate to turn into a superficial douche!
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    Oct 12, 2013 1:52 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidIt is douchey. And, you're not really that hot either. Better start working on your insides or you're going to be very, very lonely in life.


    I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice guy. Always quick with my please, and thank-yous. Also, I never claimed to be attractive myself (thanks for rubbing that one in), but I do go to they gym, and I don't eat fast food. I don't think I have ridiculously high standards.
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    It's fine. Your mistake was asking other people for their opinions.
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    Oct 12, 2013 8:58 PM GMT
    i don't think it's douchy, maybe a little smug attitude? lol you're young and it's ok to make mistakes and learn. When i hear the term douchy, I think of Scott Disick behaviors on the Kardashians Lol, like going out partying, drinking and leaving your pregnant gf at home and getting girls numbers on the side! icon_evil.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Oct 12, 2013 9:19 PM GMT
    The people you aren't talking to aren't missing anything.
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    Oct 12, 2013 11:41 PM GMT

    What exactly are you doing at the gym you go to?

    How's that for douchy
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2013 4:06 AM GMT
    Why, every person has to go to gym nowadays? or better go to plastic surgeon eh?
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    Oct 13, 2013 5:01 AM GMT
    trav1800 said
    GAMRican saidIt is douchey. And, you're not really that hot either. Better start working on your insides or you're going to be very, very lonely in life.


    I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice guy. Always quick with my please, and thank-yous. Also, I never claimed to be attractive myself (thanks for rubbing that one in), but I do go to they gym, and I don't eat fast food. I don't think I have ridiculously high standards.


    Hey, I know I look more fuckable with a hood over my head...especially at 48!

    Just remember humility and kindness and you'll be just fine.

    Be Well!
    Alan
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    Oct 13, 2013 5:37 AM GMT
    This is funny how everyone reacted to this.. I also care a lot about my diet and exercise..I'm not where I wanna be yet but getting there slowly. Anyways of course we all find muscle attractive..we are on a fitness site after all. But I don't make it a huge deal if you work out its a + but only thing that bothers me is when someone with no self discipline tries to make you fall into their bad habits then it becomes a problem
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    Oct 13, 2013 1:13 PM GMT
    It's better to be yourself and a douche than try and be some sort of politically correct numb nut and pretend you care about everyone elses opinions.
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Oct 13, 2013 1:58 PM GMT

    GAMRican said
    trav1800 said
    GAMRican saidIt is douchey. And, you're not really that hot either. Better start working on your insides or you're going to be very, very lonely in life.


    I'd like to think I'm a pretty nice guy. Always quick with my please, and thank-yous. Also, I never claimed to be attractive myself (thanks for rubbing that one in), but I do go to they gym, and I don't eat fast food. I don't think I have ridiculously high standards.


    Hey, I know I look more fuckable with a hood over my head...especially at 48!

    Just remember humility and kindness and you'll be just fine.

    Be Well!
    Alan


    Nicely said Alan! unfortunately those who think they are above everyone else, better then the have not, as a consequence alienate themselves from embracing their best inner qualities by not accepting others. Vanity or alienating yourself from people less fortunate then you, like the have not, it has nothing to do with having high standards!? anyone who succumbs to such ideals of success and goals towards a better self are only fooling themselves and others.
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    Oct 13, 2013 4:34 PM GMT
    Incendiary saidNo, it's not douchey at all. You have high standards, which someone who invests a lot of time and effort into themselves should, and others don't live up to those standards. Plain and simple.


    It may not be douchey, but it is rather silly. I've met plenty of shallow, conceited, emotionally dead, calculating and grasping gym bunnies in my day, as well as some very super guys. It's much like trying to judge a person by hair style.

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    Oct 13, 2013 5:27 PM GMT
    I have to say that you are not a douche, you are just young and trying to stick on things you want. It is ok you know what you want, but don't judge a book by its cover. You are not a douche beacuse you are ppaying attention to others, a douche shells any other opinions. Don't worry, at the end you will know what is best for you, even if you mistake, you are human. Please be kind with others and kindness you will receive back.
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    Oct 13, 2013 7:54 PM GMT
    I'm young too but that does seem kind of douchey. There are some extremely hot guys who may not be in the best of shape, and have such amiable personalities. People are seriously so hung up on looks...and do you think that maybe it's because the people have such busy lives that they barely have any time to spend at the gym? I'm a full time student and barely have time to go to the gym (haven't gone at all this week, because of midterms). You're missing out on a variety of guys.
  • BloodFlame

    Posts: 1768

    Oct 13, 2013 9:09 PM GMT
    It kind of comes off that way but at the end of the day, you are attracted to what you are attracted to. I think perspective is the main thing that you have to keep in mind.

    Like, it's okay if you don't find *insert here* attractive but don't just write them off as a possible conversation. I'm pretty sure that a lot of fitness enthusiasts/gym-goers have other hobbies/interests other than the gym like music,art or hiking and so on and thus, you can still find things to talk about even if you aren't attracted to the person. You don't have to have an intimate relationship with everyone you meet.

    I'm young myself so I know it's not saying much but I do feel habits like this can lead to bitterness/jadedness and develop a superiority-complex.

    So yeah, I have to second GAMrican. Humility and kindness along with perspective will help balance things out. Good luck and I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for. icon_smile.gif
  • LEANDRO_NJ

    Posts: 1116

    Oct 13, 2013 11:55 PM GMT
    Nirvana_Fan1991 saidIt kind of comes off that way but at the end of the day, you are attracted to what you are attracted to. I think perspective is the main thing that you have to keep in mind.

    Like, it's okay if you don't find *insert here* attractive but don't just write them off as a possible conversation. I'm pretty sure that a lot of fitness enthusiasts/gym-goers have other hobbies/interests other than the gym like music,art or hiking and so on and thus, you can still find things to talk about even if you aren't attracted to the person. You don't have to have an intimate relationship with everyone you meet.

    I'm young myself so I know it's not saying much but I do feel habits like this can lead to bitterness/jadedness and develop a superiority-complex.

    So yeah, I have to second GAMrican. Humility and kindness along with perspective will help balance things out. Good luck and I'm sure you'll find what you are looking for. icon_smile.gif


    For a young man you are wise beyond your years!