To the older guys, how was "dating" before all these technologies?

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    Oct 12, 2013 1:47 AM GMT
    i thought about this and it really made me wonder. In today's generation we have the internet, cellphones, and apps that make it a lot easier to meet guys... we can instantly ask someone out and of course, sometimes, we get instantly rejected. which is sad.

    So yea, back in the day... how was it? What's the difference now and then? Was it harder to meet guys back then with the absence of technology? How did you meet guys?

    What were the things that you wish still existed today or things that you miss the most back in the day in terms of dating guys (if theres any)

    Thank you! icon_smile.gif
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    We had cell phones back in the old days. icon_rolleyes.gif


    m800-bag-phone-talking.JPG
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    xrichx saidWe had cell phones back in the old days. icon_rolleyes.gif


    m800-bag-phone-talking.JPG



    lol. thats so hefty haha
  • ChicagoSteve

    Posts: 1276

    Oct 12, 2013 2:04 AM GMT
    You basically met guys in bars and maybe through classified personal ads or friends. I wish all of today's technology existed when I was in my 20s, I probably would have had a lot more sex. You younger guys are lucky to have all of this at your disposal.
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    Oct 12, 2013 2:11 AM GMT
    I reckon it was easier, you saw a boy/man you liked, You talked to him face to face ( yes imagine that) you gave him your home number or organised to meet somewhere and showed up, ( no texting 5 mins before to cancel.

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    Oct 12, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    ChicagoSteve saidYou basically met guys in bars and maybe through classified personal ads or friends. I wish all of today's technology existed when I was in my 20s, I probably would have had a lot more sex. You younger guys are lucky to have all of this at your disposal.


    HAHAHA you made me laugh.

    but yea thats cool. classified ads and friends... i wonder what that would be like... i cant imagine the world without internet anymore haha
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    Oct 12, 2013 5:05 AM GMT
    It seems to be sad an romantic in the same time.
    The old way of dating gay guy.
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    Oct 12, 2013 7:11 AM GMT
    Way less flaking because you really had to set up a date way in advance and stick to it.
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    Oct 12, 2013 7:12 AM GMT
    Even more dismal.
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    Oct 12, 2013 7:19 AM GMT
    Probably depended where you lived. IWas in the sticks so it was almist non existent. I never met up with anyone until very late on and that was through the Internet.
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    Oct 12, 2013 7:36 AM GMT
    Living in the San Francisco area was Heaven on Earth in my undergrad years (the late 70's). There were hot dance clubs with amazing music and laser lights. You met guys and went home with them (your place or his). When you weren't doing 'one-nighters' you had boyfriends. There were parties (large and small) every weekend (on campus and in The City). You rarely ever went without a date or a hook up (unless you were sick or something). Condoms were for breeders. Any time you caught something (I luckily never did) you stopped by the clinic for a pill or a shot. Life was a breeze. Your focus was keeping your GPA up and having fun. If you played sports (I played water polo in college) you had women hanging around the locker room and in the stands at games just handing sex to you on a silver platter. I partook in some of that but my mind was on men instead. It was a closeted time, but you had no shortage of fun times. You cleaned up and dressed well to go out to rave dances, and everybody you saw looked pretty sharp then. In a fraternity, you made a deal with your roommate if you were bringing someone home - and he spent the night across the hall someplace. You returned the favor when he hooked up - - or you joined him and did threeways sometimes. So boys, yes - - we had our fun in the late 70's. We didn't need Grinder, cell phones, or texting - you met guys live and in person - face to face. In many ways it was better then, if you ask me.
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    Oct 12, 2013 8:29 AM GMT
    We sent each other telegrams. icon_wink.gif
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    Oct 12, 2013 8:43 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidLiving in the San Francisco area was Heaven on Earth in my undergrad years (the late 70's). There were hot dance clubs with amazing music and laser lights. You met guys and went home with them (your place or his). When you weren't doing 'one-nighters' you had boyfriends. There were parties (large and small) every weekend (on campus and in The City). You rarely ever went without a date or a hook up (unless you were sick or something). Condoms were for breeders. Any time you caught something (I luckily never did) you stopped by the clinic for a pill or a shot. Life was a breeze. Your focus was keeping your GPA up and having fun. If you played sports (I played water polo in college) you had women hanging around the locker room and in the stands at games just handing sex to you on a silver platter. I partook in some of that but my mind was on men instead. It was a closeted time, but you had no shortage of fun times. You cleaned up and dressed well to go out to rave dances, and everybody you saw looked pretty sharp then. In a fraternity, you made a deal with your roommate if you were bringing someone home - and he spent the night across the hall someplace. You returned the favor when he hooked up - - or you joined him and did threeways sometimes. So boys, yes - - we had our fun in the late 70's. We didn't need Grinder, cell phones, or texting - you met guys live and in person - face to face. In many ways it was better then, if you ask me.


    Oh shut up! lol
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Oct 12, 2013 9:31 AM GMT
    I kind of wish we didn't have so much technological shit, I kind of imagining meeting another gay man in a bar or in a rare occasion and making your acquaintances special.

    With all these apps, people are fucking random strangers almost every night.
    It's almost hard to trust anyone you meet now, they can have someone and fucking multiple behind their back.

    Done, next bitch.
  • 1sub2bind4use

    Posts: 20

    Oct 12, 2013 9:57 AM GMT
    Technology? You mean, ... like a calculator?
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    Oct 12, 2013 10:11 AM GMT
    Jantheman saidi thought about this and it really made me wonder. In today's generation we have the internet, cellphones, and apps that make it a lot easier to meet guys... we can instantly ask someone out and of course, sometimes, we get instantly rejected. which is sad.

    So yea, back in the day... how was it? What's the difference now and then? Was it harder to meet guys back then with the absence of technology? How did you meet guys?

    What were the things that you wish still existed today or things that you miss the most back in the day in terms of dating guys (if theres any)

    Thank you! icon_smile.gif


    In the old days, folks had much better interpersonal skills, and weren't as rude. Dating involved an effort, and shaking hands, having a first and last name, and real conversation. No texting. No crap communications.

    One of the challenges faced by Corporate America is that many young folks have never learned "soft skills" because they've been in the Cyberverse.

    However.... The Internet is very, very, empowering in that it allows like minded people to come together in an instant from disparate locations. It's still not a real interaction in the sense that voice conversation is with all its nuances and intonations.

    It would be a much nicer U.S. electricity was turned off for, say three hours a week. It would force you to meet your neighbors. That's something many gay folks, and just plain urban folks fail miserably at: being nice; knowing their neighbors and having a sense of the larger village.

    Folks in to gay bars used to be more amiable. Dallas, where I live (technically Austin Ranch at The Colony, TX), is well know for being stand-off-ish. It's called Dalitude by many.

    So, getting to the question, it was better in some ways, but, worse in others.

    The bathhouse crowd can now hang out on Grindr, but, it's all what you make it.

    A lot of guys now, can't seem to develop any level of a relationship, doing the hookup night after night. It's sad, and speaks that many gay folks have a long ways to go.

    And, there's lots of head fucked sex addicts out there. Folks so scared of commitment, and rejection, they go through life doing one trick after another. And, of course, there's the really head-fucked closet cases, cheating on their wives, or so self-loathing and paranoid it's not worth the baggage to invest any time in them.
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    Oct 12, 2013 10:16 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidLiving in the San Francisco area was Heaven on Earth in my undergrad years (the late 70's). There were hot dance clubs with amazing music and laser lights. You met guys and went home with them (your place or his). When you weren't doing 'one-nighters' you had boyfriends. There were parties (large and small) every weekend (on campus and in The City). You rarely ever went without a date or a hook up (unless you were sick or something). Condoms were for breeders. Any time you caught something (I luckily never did) you stopped by the clinic for a pill or a shot. Life was a breeze. Your focus was keeping your GPA up and having fun. If you played sports (I played water polo in college) you had women hanging around the locker room and in the stands at games just handing sex to you on a silver platter. I partook in some of that but my mind was on men instead. It was a closeted time, but you had no shortage of fun times. You cleaned up and dressed well to go out to rave dances, and everybody you saw looked pretty sharp then. In a fraternity, you made a deal with your roommate if you were bringing someone home - and he spent the night across the hall someplace. You returned the favor when he hooked up - - or you joined him and did threeways sometimes. So boys, yes - - we had our fun in the late 70's. We didn't need Grinder, cell phones, or texting - you met guys live and in person - face to face. In many ways it was better then, if you ask me.


    That's a lot to be said, for a smile, a handshake, conversation, and a last name and first name...and...friend to hit the club with the next time.

    Nowadays, Grindr can connect you with the nearest head-fucked horny guy, but, it's not the same as going out, having a good time, giggling, and really getting to know someone...having an interest in people.
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    Oct 12, 2013 10:18 AM GMT
    Rene_Aensland saidI kind of wish we didn't have so much technological shit, I kind of imagining meeting another gay man in a bar or in a rare occasion and making your acquaintances special.

    With all these apps, people are fucking random strangers almost every night.
    It's almost hard to trust anyone you meet now, they can have someone and fucking multiple behind their back.

    Done, next bitch.


    It was much easier to meet folks when they weren't distracted by their smart phones, and actually knew how to engage in an interesting conversation. Many young folks completely lack those social skills these days.
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    Oct 12, 2013 10:34 AM GMT
    xrichx saidWe had cell phones back in the old days. icon_rolleyes.gif


    m800-bag-phone-talking.JPG


    That was my very first one actually.. 1991... My very first internet experance was with Web TV in late 90s. I still have it tucked away in a closet in the original box to this day.
  • Rene_Aensland

    Posts: 2495

    Oct 12, 2013 11:27 AM GMT
    chuckystud said
    Rene_Aensland saidI kind of wish we didn't have so much technological shit, I kind of imagining meeting another gay man in a bar or in a rare occasion and making your acquaintances special.

    With all these apps, people are fucking random strangers almost every night.
    It's almost hard to trust anyone you meet now, they can have someone and fucking multiple behind their back.

    Done, next bitch.


    It was much easier to meet folks when they weren't distracted by their smart phones, and actually knew how to engage in an interesting conversation. Many young folks completely lack those social skills these days.


    Amen.
  • BillandChuck

    Posts: 2024

    Oct 12, 2013 12:29 PM GMT
    From prep school into the Academy, all boys, massive hormone rages..... dating? What was that? Sex with men was caught when it could be, where it could be, never often enough. In "those days", being in the military meant NOT dating and being even more furtive in the pursuit, even on leave, which by definition was short-term and lent itself to what we now call "hooking up" and then we called "tricking". Sometimes you could actually net an ongoing thing out of it with someone you liked to spend time with, but in that environment it was all sub rosa.

    One memory (Bill's) that sticks out was during a posting in Paris, becoming involved (as said above, hooked up, repeated, eventually got to enjoy being together and did it regularly, doing more than just getting off) with a hot nice perfect (as I then thought) French Canadian. Our first "date" was after many tricks, then many tricks with a little post-sex conversation or just remaining together and not jumping up and going after.

    So, to those of you young men who never knew the pre-Net days, and who are growing up in a much more open culture, count yourself exceedingly advantaged. And to those of you, our contemporaries, who grew up in a different environment than we and weren't among horny boys and men all the time, GOOD JOB navigating that!
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    Oct 12, 2013 12:50 PM GMT
    With less technology, I found it to be much easier both from doing the hookup thing and for actually connecting and finding boyfriends/lovers.
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    Oct 12, 2013 12:52 PM GMT
    ChicagoSteve saidYou basically met guys in bars and maybe through classified personal ads or friends. I wish all of today's technology existed when I was in my 20s, I probably would have had a lot more sex. You younger guys are lucky to have all of this at your disposal.


    And the HIV/Aids epidemic would have been much, much worse if the same technologies existed in the seventies and eighties.
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    Oct 12, 2013 1:01 PM GMT
    MovingRightAlong saidWe sent each other telegrams. icon_wink.gif


    You young whipper snapper, why my generation had to rely on carrier pigeons!
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    Oct 12, 2013 1:10 PM GMT
    Rene_Aensland saidI kind of wish we didn't have so much technological shit, I kind of imagining meeting another gay man in a bar or in a rare occasion and making your acquaintances special.

    With all these apps, people are fucking random strangers almost every night.
    It's almost hard to trust anyone you meet now, they can have someone and fucking multiple behind their back.

    Done, next bitch.

    True. As much as internet has made it easy to have random sex , it has almost killed having any meaningful interaction. Today people think that if you are not having sex the moment you meet, then you are going to marry them. I don't even remember last time I had a proper date.