ANSWERING "GAY" QUESTIONS FROM STRAIGHT FRIENDS: When it's funny and when questions can be just.....

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 12, 2013 3:09 PM GMT
    So last night I was talking to a group of my college friends after an alumni activity and one of my fraternity brothers had been acting a little funny. He made it a point to walk with me out to my car afterward and finally ask me, "So I heard you are gay, is that really true"?

    I said "it is true", at which point he looked a little shocked and asked me a series of questions.. some made sense and some didn't (I just laughed):

    1. "I never believed it, you don't look gay?
    2. "Is the fact you look so good because you are gay"?
    3. "Is not having children a problem when you are gay"?
    4. "Has it been embarrassing for you"?
    5. "Do you deny it when somebody asks you"?

    He got replies back on all his questions. He admitted he thought it was all just rumor, but he had to ask because, he said, "I look like I have gay men friended on Facebook"....
    (I about fell over laughing).

    I sincerely hope he learned a little bit. I asked him a question at the end of our discussion....

    "How many men in your mennonite church do you think are gay"?
    I just laughed..... he just stared....

    Interesting how some just don't have a clue.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 12, 2013 5:00 PM GMT
    One thing I did tell him is, I have no intention of living my life in the shadows in any way. I'm comfortable with who I am. He seemed genuinely surprised and some of his questions sincere. About his Facebook comment, I ask him what gave him the clue and he said, "you have all these men who make comments"... it was pretty humorous.

    I did wonder about HIM at the conclusion of our conversation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2013 5:27 PM GMT
    I've had several of my closest friends ask me questions similar to yours. In the end those who have know you most of your life respect you more because the character of oneself remains intact.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 12, 2013 5:42 PM GMT
    Fivealive saidI've had several of my closest friends ask me questions similar to yours. In the end those who have know you most of your life respect you more because the character of oneself remains intact.


    I kind of agree with that. Being honest & straightforward makes the most sense.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2013 7:59 PM GMT
    I didn't understand the implication of the Mennonite question. Is that church especially accepting of gays?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 12, 2013 9:33 PM GMT
    This happens all the time and I've grown tired of answering the stupid questions; of constantly have to come out.
    Just today at the trails, a guy asked me if I knew I had an Equality sticker on my truck.
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    Oct 12, 2013 10:03 PM GMT
    hammered in the closet kid BET
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2013 12:44 AM GMT
    The questions from straight friends I've received were along the lines of:

    * Are you attracted to (this or that guy - naming names of people we know)?

    * When did you realize you were into men?

    * Women like you - I've heard them say so, and you've had a number of girlfriends.......did you get tired of them?

    * Do you think I'll change and start getting into guys some day? That would be weird.

    * What does it feel like to have sex with a dude?

    * Do you think about trying something with me?

    * When you have sex with a dude, who is the pitcher and who is the catcher, and how do you decide?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2013 1:00 AM GMT
    I don't recall being asked any awkward gay questions from straight friends. Questions from straights I've met casually in social settings have included:

    - Which one of you is the wife?
    - How long does it take before a gay gets AIDS?
    - Why do you want to be gay?
    - How long have you been gay?
    - Do you both sleep in the same bed?
    - Why don't you like women?
  • d11l

    Posts: 188

    Oct 13, 2013 1:05 AM GMT
    "What do you do with lube?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2013 1:10 AM GMT
    d11l said"What do you do with lube?"

    "Use it to lessen the friction & noise caused by the parts rubbing together."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 13, 2013 1:14 AM GMT
    I got one
    Classic:

    "Were you gay when we went camping?"
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 13, 2013 1:37 AM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal saidI didn't understand the implication of the Mennonite question. Is that church especially accepting of gays?


    They are generally very conservative.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Oct 13, 2013 2:36 AM GMT
    The most interesting question I remember being asked was, "Why do you think homosexuality has mostly been suppressed by society throughout history?" This was asked by a very bulked-up, tattooed, father of two teenage boys that I found very 'hot' (the dad, not the boys, just to be clear). He and his family lived in the same building I did so we were neighbors and he asked me this one afternoon rather out of the blue as we were chatting in the hallway.

    My answer went something like this: "Well I don't really know of course but the way I see it, it has to be do with power. My suspicion is homosexual activity has been much more common throughout history than most people realize. I suspect many if not most males would engage in sexual activity with other males at least some of the time if there were no social stigma associated with it. So, keeping the "bulls" focused on the "heifers" so to say is definitely part of it. But another way to gain power over a demographic is to stigmatize and/or make illegal an activity they engage in, or might engage in if given the opportunity. Thus if you do engage in that activity, you have to do so secretly, making you vulnerable to black male. Finally, there is the whole "dominance" issue of sexuality itself. There are men who say they are straight because they only fuck (and are never fucked by) other men, for example."

    By this time the poor guy's eyeballs were beginning to bug out of his head so I shut the fuck up.
  • pandx970

    Posts: 357

    Oct 13, 2013 2:43 AM GMT
    d11l said"What do you do with lube?"


    Shutttt the fronnnnt doooor!icon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 14, 2013 6:08 AM GMT
    It is a bitter-sweet moment in our lives, sweet because when a straight dude asks you looks cute, and bitter because many are just dumb. I have got these so far:

    "So you are gay, you like me?"
    "Really, you dont look that gay?"
    "Do gay people want to be women?"
    "when you masturbate, in what are you fantasizing?"
    "You touch your anus or cock at masturbation?"
    "Do you like (insert of any man who passes around)?
    "Who is the man and woman?"
    "So you are gay... you hang up with cute girls? If you do, present me some please.."
    "Do you get a boner talking about these things?"
    "You want to get married iwth a guy?"
    " If gay men are like women, do they want to get breasts?"

    And more that I dont recall, some are sooo dumb, XD
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    May 30, 2014 4:46 PM GMT
    pandx970 said
    d11l said"What do you do with lube?"


    Shutttt the fronnnnt doooor!icon_question.gif


    Hahaha!!
  • 1AlanZSky

    Posts: 1505

    May 30, 2014 4:50 PM GMT
    "When you do up the bum, you get bits of shit everywhere. Why have it?"

    We clean. It feels good. Next!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2014 4:54 PM GMT
    You should meet my friend, he's gay as well. You would make a great couple. (Said within the first minute of meeting me)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 30, 2014 5:04 PM GMT
    "but you're wearing a wedding band"

    Most recently and more shocking to me:
    "How's your husband,"
    from my new doctor only going on my insurance card and the info I had to give to make the appointment.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4433

    May 30, 2014 5:08 PM GMT
    Sadly, the most frequent question I got after coming out was "Why didn't you trust me enough to tell me?"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2014 8:58 PM GMT
    None of these have any relevance at all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 27, 2014 9:40 PM GMT
    Creatinglube saidNone of these have any relevance at all.

    Then why did you revive this thread???