How to find genuine people

  • e2ksj3355

    Posts: 110

    Oct 13, 2013 5:01 PM GMT
    I was just wondering is there an easier way of making friends or potential dates than online? It seems like I've tried everything from Grindr to Okcupid to meetup.com social groups. What will normally happen is, I will go and meet them for dinner and then never hear from them again or go out for a second date and then never hear from them again. It is starting to really take a toll on me emotionally. I consider myself a friendly guy, but these guys just seem so cold and not friendly at all unless they want something from you, at least it seems. The weird thing is, I'll see these same guys on the same sites months later still single. I just don't understand it how they can be so detached.

    Do other people notice this? I've heard from guys in the area where I live aren't friendly and very standoffish. I thought about moving, but it isn't so simple and who is to say it wouldn't be the same somewhere else. Am I expecting too much? I'm starting to isolate myself more and more because of this. I just feel my efforts are for nothing, so I figure why put myself through this again. I definitely don't want to be that way. icon_sad.gif
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    Oct 13, 2013 5:01 PM GMT
    I hear you can find quality intellectual guys in Grindr.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 13, 2013 5:02 PM GMT
    choir practice? icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 13, 2013 5:04 PM GMT
    I found my boyfriend in the gym I go to. We actually never talked at the gym, we had our first conversation at a grocery store while we were in the milk isle. :]

    get off your computer and apps. Best way to find good quality guys.
  • e2ksj3355

    Posts: 110

    Oct 13, 2013 5:09 PM GMT
    Mesmer saidI found my boyfriend in the gym I go to. We actually never talked at the gym, we had our first conversation at a grocery store while we were in the milk isle. :]

    get off your computer and apps. Best way to find good quality guys.


    Ok interesting! Did you just approach him and find out he was gay? I was just curious. Most of the guys at my gym are straight. I thought I could use Grindr to maybe find someone who was gay at my gym, but nothing but flakes. I actually just deleted my apps. It was starting to be just too much with dick and ass pics.
  • e2ksj3355

    Posts: 110

    Oct 13, 2013 5:22 PM GMT
    TheGuyNextDoor said
    Mesmer saidI found my boyfriend in the gym I go to. We actually never talked at the gym, we had our first conversation at a grocery store while we were in the milk isle. :]

    get off your computer and apps. Best way to find good quality guys.

    I concur. You'll find your best mates in person out and about.


    Where do you look though? I'm open to new ways of meeting people, but don't know where. I've done the meetup social groups too, but didn't have much luck with them either. Maybe I'm just expecting too much.
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    Oct 13, 2013 5:24 PM GMT
    e2ksj3355 said
    Mesmer saidI found my boyfriend in the gym I go to. We actually never talked at the gym, we had our first conversation at a grocery store while we were in the milk isle. :]

    get off your computer and apps. Best way to find good quality guys.


    Ok interesting! Did you just approach him and find out he was gay? I was just curious. Most of the guys at my gym are straight. I thought I could use Grindr to maybe find someone who was gay at my gym, but nothing but flakes. I actually just deleted my apps. It was starting to be just too much with dick and ass pics.


    Well when I saw him at my gym I thought he was straight, but, he was always by himself, did things on his own, and kept to himself. I always found him somewhat mysterious. When we saw each other at the grocery store, we made eye contact, his eyes told me he knew who I was.. so, I made the first move and said "you go to my gym, I see you around sometimes." and from there we just talked and walked around the grocery store together. We eventually started working out together, and eventually spent time together outside of the gym is when our romantic feelings started taking flight.

    Always go with your intuition, if you feel it isn't right, most likely it isn't. Not all guys that go to the gym are boyfriend material, I can say that for sure. Keep your eyes open, because good things happen to those who wait.
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    Oct 13, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    There is this thing I call "pseudo intimacy" that seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. Before computers and cell phones, people were hungry for intimacy and friendships. You could have a positive 60 second conversation with a stranger and end up becoming best friends in a short period of time. That rarely happens anymore. Now when people feel lonely, they check their Facebook status and look at their 982 "friends." They see they have a bunch of unread comments on a photo they posted and it gives them a tiny bit of fleeting satisfaction. Or open up their Scruff app and see that there are many guys checking them out, and once again....a bit of temporary comfort. Suddenly, calling someone up for a real life date doesn't seem so pressing anymore. Once I joined Facebook several years ago, I noticed that each time I accepted a friend request from someone, they stopped calling as much. Real life interactions became less frequent and bonds seems less strong. For the past couple of years, I've been rejecting all new "friend" requests, but I'm careful to explain why so that feelings aren't hurt.
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    Oct 13, 2013 6:09 PM GMT
    Being to yourself isn't all that bad, I think more people need to learn how to be alone and not constantly think about meeting or dating somebody, because it can get frustrating when your effort doesn't pay off. Being alone is a lot less complicated and you don't have to worry about someone else taking up all your time (which will happen if you do get involved with a guy).