Straight buddy made out with me, does it mean anything?

  • jeffc320

    Posts: 7

    Oct 14, 2013 10:43 PM GMT
    Let me explain a bit about my situation so that you might be better able to understand my confusion. So i'm still in the closet, all my buddies are straight and i consider myself pretty straight acting. I've never talked/flirted/hooked up with a dude so i'm super confused and at a total loss. Well over the weekend me and a bunch of buddies when out on the town. We all got pretty drunk and everyone ended up crashing at my place. I have one buddy who I've been crushing on for a last few months. No one knows i'm gay, especially not him. Well anyway after a long night of drinking it's not uncommon for me to crash on the couch. Sometimes i'm too drunk to make it up to my bedroom (my room is on the 3rd floor). And In my drunken state I've crashed next to this buddy that I've been crushing on numerous times. It's never been intimate like a cuddle session or anything we usually just pass out with our heads near/facing each other. He's totally straight, no gay vibes at all, pretty much a bro's bro.

    Anyway, the other night when i crashed on the couch i woke up from what i thought was my buddy just getting comfortable in his sleep and he happened to wrap his arm over me. Assuming he was just drunk, i attempted to move his arm off by grabbing his hand and lifting it off. That's when he grabbed my hand to hold it... I was super confused and was in a shocked "oh ****" moment and let him hold my hand for a bit (less then like 15 seconds i would guess). Assuming that he was just drunk i said his name quietly to which he responded "huh?" So i said "hey man, you ok?" Which he then responded with a "yeah" and hugged me and my hand a bit tighter. Up until this point i hadn't looked up at him yet since i was woken from my sleep by this and assumed he was still asleep to so finally i glance up at him. He gives me the sexiest damn lazy smile to which think to myself F*ck it and went in for a kiss. Then to my surprise he rolled with it! Long story short we made out for awhile. During which i stopped and asked once again if he was ok, then stopped a second time to ask if he was sure about this. Both times he responded with a casual "yeah". I was super drunk so i'm not sure when/why we fell back asleep but we did and i woke up later while hes still sleeping and ran up to my bedroom. He came in later that morning and acted as if nothing happened. The first thing he did ask me was if i came up and slept in my room the entire night which i lied and responded with a yes but there was no unusual response to my lie. We both talked about how the end of our night was kind of spotty (mine included besides for this epic end to the night) but neither mentioned what happened we mainly just talked about the bars/clubs we went to and what we remembered before the night got spotty.

    So now i'm totally confused about the whole situation. We both were super drunk but but when i was talking to him during the whole thing he didn't seem completely out of it. Do you think he really doesn't remember or just didn't want to talk about it? I've hung out with him for the last two days since this night and nothings been weird at all. It's as if nothing happened. Also, do any of you think he might be gay/curious or was it just a super drunk night and it just happened to get weird? Could he be attracted to me? Sorry for making such a long post, but any advice would be greatly appreciated. Like i said I've never been in any sort of situation such as this so im at a complete lost and without being out to anyone i don't really have anyone to talk it over with. Thanks in advance for the responses!
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    Oct 14, 2013 10:47 PM GMT
    marry him
  • pandx970

    Posts: 357

    Oct 14, 2013 10:55 PM GMT
    I had an ex once who, for a lack of a better term, 'sleep fucked'. That was interesting...icon_exclaim.gif

    The same ex also was married to a woman before we dated and I was the first guy with him in a gay relationship.

    Now that I think about it, what an interesting guy. Almost more intersting that the Dos Equis guy.

    That being said, I say this because, well, who knows what was going on: the universe of possibilities is huge and endless and the one option that you really want -- "he's really into you" -- is not likely. Continue living life and growing and I'm sure you'll find out if he's interested in more than just a platonic thing.
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    Oct 14, 2013 10:56 PM GMT
    Drunken states lead to loss of inhibitions. Some straight guys wonder what it's like to kiss a dude.

    What are young people like these days, huh?

    No, it means nothing. UNLESS it happens again.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 14, 2013 10:58 PM GMT
    Get drunk again and take him to your bedroom ... you're both horny .... go with it

    Or regret that you didn't do it for the rest of your life.
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    Oct 14, 2013 11:10 PM GMT
    He tried it. If it turned his crank it would have gone beyond just making out at the time.

  • Papadopoulos

    Posts: 65

    Oct 14, 2013 11:17 PM GMT
    Not sure if it means anything, drunk people do a lot of things just because they're drunk
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 15, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    Upper_Cdn saidHe tried it. If it turned his crank it would have gone beyond just making out at the time.


    Coming out isn't like popping out of a cake and a first time with someone, gay or straight, is also not like popping up out of the cake. It is more like a a baby chick hatching from its egg .... it is a slow process.
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    Oct 15, 2013 12:54 AM GMT
    Saw the headline. Expected wall of text, OP to be under 25, and first or very little forums posts.

    OP delivered. icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 15, 2013 12:59 AM GMT
    Yes, it means he's not straight.
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    Oct 15, 2013 1:16 AM GMT
    David3000 saidYes, it means he's not straight.


    Yep I mean how many gay guys get drunk and shagg a chick? hmm none ever
  • jeffc320

    Posts: 7

    Oct 15, 2013 2:00 AM GMT
    Thanks for the response guys. I think you bring up some valid points and gave me a lot to think about. I've never been in any situation remotely close to this so i wasn't sure how to take it. In retrospect shit happens, he prob just had a drunk moment and i think i'll just carry on like nothing happened. Have to admit though, it was damn good and if the opportunity comes up again i'm definitely game.
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    Oct 15, 2013 2:03 AM GMT
    xrichx saidSaw the headline. Expected wall of text, OP to be under 25, and first or very little forums posts.

    OP delivered. icon_lol.gif


    This.

    And, generic answer is that they should fuck and post vid for our approval.
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    Dec 15, 2013 1:46 PM GMT
    Ask him how he feels about what happened that night, and/or how well he remembers, then take it from there. Nothing to lose. He def likes you.
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Dec 15, 2013 2:12 PM GMT
    RPM28 saidAsk him how he feels about what happened that night, and/or how well he remembers, then take it from there. Nothing to lose. He def likes you.


    I'd definitly to this too. Be subtle but persistant. Make it as a joke if it gets too awkward. Like haha we we're really drunk and I dunno, seems like i was half dreaming or something, do you remember us sleeping on the couch for a while?.. Then he says, oh no man, I dont.. Ah well I figured cause if I remember well, you took my hand or something, you don't remember at all? Anyway when I type it it sux, but you should put it in a certain way that whenever you get the feeling it's taking a turn for the worse, laugh it off. If you know what I mean


    edit: Just found out this was an october thread.. Anyway I wonder how it ended.. OP?!
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    Dec 15, 2013 2:27 PM GMT
    sounds like you had a good night. leave it at that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    That's such a nice story but, in the words of B D Wong, "Sexuality is veeeery complicated."
    You will never figure it out unless he volunteers something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 15, 2013 2:43 PM GMT
    BTW there's a saying: Homosexuality is OK as long as you don't call it that.
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    Dec 15, 2013 2:48 PM GMT
    OP, any more progress after that night?

    I would say that's like a dream-come-true situation for me. If it were me, I know I'd be weak and take advantage of the situation and just went with it. If anything, I'd blame the drunken state we were in.

    The closest situation I've had was going on a trip with friends, and I got to share a bed with the friend I was totally attracted to. Needless to say, I lie next to him sleepless all night. I wish he had done to me what he did to you. icon_redface.gif

    You are a good friend for not taking advantage of the situation.
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    Dec 15, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    jeffc320 saidThanks for the response guys. I think you bring up some valid points and gave me a lot to think about. I've never been in any situation remotely close to this so i wasn't sure how to take it. In retrospect shit happens, he prob just had a drunk moment and i think i'll just carry on like nothing happened. Have to admit though, it was damn good and if the opportunity comes up again i'm definitely game.


    You know I think? He's further in the closet than you are. icon_wink.gif

    If something is going to unfold, let it unfold on its own. For that, be receptive, be open to possibility without exerting pressure (let him do that), and see what happens.
    My Christmas wish for you, my good man, is that it does, in fact, unfold.
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    Dec 15, 2013 4:47 PM GMT
    What's wrong with a little bro on bro affection? The snuggle, the hand, the kiss. It's just a little affection which so happens to be some of the mildest forms of "homosexual behavior". However, don't confuse "homosexual behavior" with "homosexual preference" or "Homosexual orientation". Although they appear to be related, these in reality are three completely different and independent dimensions of personality.

    Let me share a fictitious example:

    Let's first take "Steve"...
    tumblr_m9g7n2QREr1rec6i1o1_500.jpg

    ... "Steve" self-identifies as Straight (Heterosexual orientation) and really only thinks about and gets turned on about having sex with women (Heterosexual preference). However, Steve and his buddy "Rick"...

    e331196dc541ac1153659a2be2c2a158.jpg

    ...(who is also of "Heterosexual orientation" and "Hetrosexual preference") end up stranded on a small atoll in the South Pacific. There are no other people on the atoll. Without each other they would be alone. Their bro-bond gets stronger because of their situation. After several months, alone on the atoll without women, they both naturally get horny. Yes, fapping has probably happened separately and in private, but there is nothing like the physical intimate contact of another human being. And, despite their preference for women and their prior sexual behavior exclusively with women, one day after some fun and athletic horseplay in the lagoon they both run back to their makeshift camp and flop down next to each other for a snooze. A cool Trade Wind gently blows through and they spoon to allow their sun drenched bodies to keep each other warm as they fall into a gentle, light sleep. Rick, the "big spoon", begins to sprout a boner during the snooze. Rick gives Steve a snuggly hug. Steve, the "little spoon" repositions onto his back, Rick's arm still over Steve's chest, as Steve now turns his head to be face to face with Rick. They both open their eyes and look deeply at each other for a moment, and then there is a tender kiss which blooms into a deeper more soulful kiss. Steve now has wood in his shorts. Instinctively, they both know what to do. First, the hands know what tumescent flesh desires. Second, knowing they are both totally in private begin to explore giving each other oral sex simultaneously. Rick is the first to probe Steve's sea-salty ass with his spit slicked fingers. Steve gently moans and acquiesces to his buddy's touch. Soon, they are both fucking each other. They takes turns because as bros, they know the physical needs that each bro has. They both still self-identify with Heterosexual orientation and Heterosexual preference for women to express Heterosexual behavior (which is unavailable).

    This situation and arrangement happens for the next several months. Then, a shipping frigate sails within sight of the atoll and Rick and Steve set off an emergency flair. Both are rescued and return to their previous, familiar world. Both return to having sex with women, and both Steve and Rick end up marrying women and having children. Neither Steve nor Rick ever have sex with another man again. They never speak to any other person about their experience on the atoll, yet they remain bros. Nobody questions their closeness because everybody knows they were stranded on the atoll together and amazingly survived for nearly a year.

    After their odyssey together, neither Steve nor Rick self-identify as "gay" nor "bisexual"(both forms of Homsexual orientation). Steve and Rick both self-identify with Heterosexual orientation. Neither Rick nor Steve ever engage in sex with men again, nor sex with a man and a woman simultaneously (the former a form of Homosexual behavior, the latter a form of bisexual behavior). Rick and Steve both return to exclusive, Heterosexual behavior driven by their Heterosexual preference.

    @OP - In closing, there may be a mildly parallel situation here with you and your bro. Just keep your mouth shut about the incident, and see if it happens again...if you want it to.
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    Dec 15, 2013 10:17 PM GMT
    Daelin said
    RPM28 saidAsk him how he feels about what happened that night, and/or how well he remembers, then take it from there. Nothing to lose. He def likes you.


    I'd definitly to this too. Be subtle but persistant. Make it as a joke if it gets too awkward. Like haha we we're really drunk and I dunno, seems like i was half dreaming or something, do you remember us sleeping on the couch for a while?.. Then he says, oh no man, I dont.. Ah well I figured cause if I remember well, you took my hand or something, you don't remember at all? Anyway when I type it it sux, but you should put it in a certain way that whenever you get the feeling it's taking a turn for the worse, laugh it off. If you know what I mean


    edit: Just found out this was an october thread.. Anyway I wonder how it ended.. OP?!


    I wonder too
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    Dec 16, 2013 12:11 AM GMT
    RPM28 said
    Daelin said
    RPM28 saidAsk him how he feels about what happened that night, and/or how well he remembers, then take it from there. Nothing to lose. He def likes you.


    I'd definitly to this too. Be subtle but persistant. Make it as a joke if it gets too awkward. Like haha we we're really drunk and I dunno, seems like i was half dreaming or something, do you remember us sleeping on the couch for a while?.. Then he says, oh no man, I dont.. Ah well I figured cause if I remember well, you took my hand or something, you don't remember at all? Anyway when I type it it sux, but you should put it in a certain way that whenever you get the feeling it's taking a turn for the worse, laugh it off. If you know what I mean


    edit: Just found out this was an october thread.. Anyway I wonder how it ended.. OP?!


    I wonder too


    Maybe they're stranded on a remote atoll?

    Should we send a search party?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2013 12:13 AM GMT
    ^I LOVED that hypothetical situation you wrote earlier ahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 16, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 said^I LOVED that hypothetical situation you wrote earlier ahaha


    Everybody loves a good story. ;-)