Dating a guy who has a GF.

  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 10:20 PM GMT
    So lately I started seeing this guy that I met on FB, and soon on whassap, and everything was going very well, until I found out going through his phone pics, that he has a gf, but when I brought that up he said that he really doesn't care for a heterosexual relationship, so it's a cover-up relationship, sort of to speak.
    He sounds like a really nice person but not sure if he's telling the truth about the "cover-up" relationship.
    any advice is greatly appreciated.

    thanks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2013 10:24 PM GMT
    He's probably lying, but assuming that he's not, anyone who has a "cover-up" relationship is a waste of time.
  • deep388

    Posts: 859

    Oct 16, 2013 10:26 PM GMT
    Nice guy, has a shady girlfriend/wife/partner whatever as well...I think the "nice" bit gets negated once you know he has to hide you and hide his true self from the gf.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 16, 2013 10:31 PM GMT
    my first gay relationship, the guy had several gf's until he met me, after that I don't think he had others until he got old, married and died.

    The second one, which lasted 5 years, was dating a girl when I met him, he broke up with her and moved in with me. Eventually we broke it off and I think he is still with the guy he met next.

    The next 4 yr long term one had been dating a guy prior to me, but was previously married with 3 kids and a couple grand children

    The last guy, I saw off and on, was single when we started seeing each other, met a woman on line and married her a month later, I broke it off shortly after and he divorce and eventually got married again. He had 2 kids when I met him, a third just after I broke it off and not sure if he has more now.

    You just never really know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2013 10:37 PM GMT
    If he lies to her about his relationship with you, he is lying to you about something too. Liars lie.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Oct 16, 2013 10:39 PM GMT
    Can people stop going through other people's phones D:
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 10:53 PM GMT
    Jaggal saidWhat people here don't realize is that you live in the middle east and a LOT of gay guys have cover-up relationships. I would if I was still back there. That being said, I would still see him, but be cautious.


    Yup seems you been in my shoes, then already know how hard it's finding a nice guy here who respects you for who you are and could potentially make a long term partner. Now I wish I never touched that phone icon_cry.gif
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 10:54 PM GMT
    Buddha saidCan people stop going through other people's phones D:


    somebody had to open the Pandora box!
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 11:01 PM GMT
    theplanedonecrashed saidyou don't see the fact that you found out about this on your own and him basically lying to you about it until you brought it up to his attention as a instant red flag? icon_confused.gif you better flee while you can. he can't even trust you enough to tell you about his situation. that would have been very "nice" of him.


    I guess you're righticon_cry.gif and i'm not ready to be lied to or be the fancy behind closed doors.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2013 11:01 PM GMT
    My guess is most of the guys where you live have "cover" girlfriends. In the U.S. I'd write him off as a lying loser, but I'm sure it's probably out of necessity there. Ever thought of moving to a more progressive area?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2013 11:06 PM GMT
    You're in Qatar. Is this situation a "normal" and necessary part of the Qatari culture?

    In some cultures, it is normal and expected for males to marry females AND possibly for the males to have a male lover on the side.

    I'm sure I'm going to catch shit for this answer, but Qatari culture may be different from Western / U.S. culture.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 11:19 PM GMT
    Jaggal said
    GAMRican saidYou're in Qatar. Is this situation a "normal" and necessary part of the Qatari culture?

    In some cultures, it is normal and expected for males to marry females AND possibly for the males to have a male lover on the side.

    I'm sure I'm going to catch shit for this answer, but Qatari culture may be different from Western / U.S. culture.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Qatar#Privacy_rights

    and now the gay test.
    As if the 5 years imprisonment wasn't good enough, now we have bigoted govt MP's endorsing a bill to develop a magical device that'd detect gay people.
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/kuwait-developing-gay-detector-test-lgbt-expats-gulf-countrires-article-1.1480804
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 11:22 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidMy guess is most of the guys where you live have "cover" girlfriends. In the U.S. I'd write him off as a lying loser, but I'm sure it's probably out of necessity there. Ever thought of moving to a more progressive area?

    Yes, i'm thinking about it every single day but thing is I got fam here I can't just take off like that.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 11:26 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidYou're in Qatar. Is this situation a "normal" and necessary part of the Qatari culture?

    In some cultures, it is normal and expected for males to marry females AND possibly for the males to have a male lover on the side.

    I'm sure I'm going to catch shit for this answer, but Qatari culture may be different from Western / U.S. culture.

    It's not just "expected" it's "you have to" ... and about the french fires on the side yeah some do that too.
  • RainBow_Drago...

    Posts: 337

    Oct 16, 2013 11:32 PM GMT
    Jaggal said
    RainBow_Dragon2000 said
    Jaggal said
    GAMRican saidYou're in Qatar. Is this situation a "normal" and necessary part of the Qatari culture?

    In some cultures, it is normal and expected for males to marry females AND possibly for the males to have a male lover on the side.

    I'm sure I'm going to catch shit for this answer, but Qatari culture may be different from Western / U.S. culture.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Qatar#Privacy_rights

    and now the gay test.
    As if the 5 years imprisonment wasn't good enough, now we have bigoted govt MP's endorsing a bill to develop a magical device that'd detect gay people.
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/kuwait-developing-gay-detector-test-lgbt-expats-gulf-countrires-article-1.1480804


    They are all idiots. Maybe it's time to immigrate?

    Yes, i'm studying my options but I have to kill my heart first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 16, 2013 11:56 PM GMT
    it doesnt get more str8 acting than having a girlfriend
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1765

    Oct 17, 2013 9:00 AM GMT
    Jaggal said
    RainBow_Dragon2000 said
    Jaggal said
    GAMRican saidYou're in Qatar. Is this situation a "normal" and necessary part of the Qatari culture?

    In some cultures, it is normal and expected for males to marry females AND possibly for the males to have a male lover on the side.

    I'm sure I'm going to catch shit for this answer, but Qatari culture may be different from Western / U.S. culture.


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Qatar#Privacy_rights

    and now the gay test.
    As if the 5 years imprisonment wasn't good enough, now we have bigoted govt MP's endorsing a bill to develop a magical device that'd detect gay people.
    http://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/kuwait-developing-gay-detector-test-lgbt-expats-gulf-countrires-article-1.1480804


    They are all idiots. Maybe it's time to immigrate?


    If were him I'd probably emigrate icon_biggrin.gif
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Oct 17, 2013 11:33 AM GMT
    So you don't like guys dressing up "sexy" for halloween cause they apparently don't respect theirselves, but you're dating a guy with a gf and going through his phone?

    Where's your self respect?

    And yes qatar kinda sucks, it's a homophobic, interbred country, with a high obesity rate. On top of Lack of workers rights and a need to have permission to leave that place.