Coming out

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 27, 2008 11:24 PM GMT
    Hey boys, so yesterday was a HUGE day for me. I came out of the closet to my family. Mom's still adjusting, but for the most part, they are ok with everything which is cool. So i just wanted to tell everyone how great i feel! its a million pounds off my shoulders.

    anyone have any good coming out stories?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Nov 27, 2008 11:29 PM GMT
    Good for you. I'm glad it went well for you.

    My coming out was a bit of a mess, but it's cool now. I have still a few to come out to.
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    Nov 28, 2008 4:05 AM GMT
    Great job! My coming out was a good experience too. And it was like a giant weight off my shoulders as well. Next step for you is to find a boy to bring home to momma, haha.
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    Nov 28, 2008 4:26 AM GMT
    Congratulations!!!!

    That is a big step. I am glad that it seems to have gone so well. ... icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 28, 2008 4:26 AM GMT
    I am so happy for you, congrats. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Nov 28, 2008 4:39 AM GMT
    Gratz. I hope you can breath a little easier. Good for you.

    I told my brother on Tuesday and he asked me not to tell mom and dad and ruin Thanksgiving. I didn't know what to say back aside from, "k"
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    Nov 28, 2008 7:46 AM GMT
    There is another forum posted on 11/24/08 for the same topic entitled 'Coming out'.

    All the best to you as you probably feel like 10 tons were lifted off your shoulders.

    I had a so-so coming out but fast forward 8 years to now and family that gave me a rough time are pretty cool now.

    Gary

    PS. I gotta ask: What's with guys timing their coming out during such a stressful time as the holidays?
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    Nov 28, 2008 8:00 AM GMT
    ssguy69 said

    PS. I gotta ask: What's with guys timing their coming out during such a stressful time as the holidays?


    LOL! I kinda was thinkin' that...but when you have that feeling to just blurt it out, it just happens.


    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!
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    Nov 28, 2008 9:10 AM GMT
    Good for you! Congratulations! My coming out was a bit rocky but its been years and I would not have it any other way. As my father told me days after I came out. Well be the best you can be at all times, learn from your mistakes and remember there are those out there who'll try to put you back where you came from....be the bigger man and just love the fuck out of them and stand your ground....but love to fuck out of them! LOL
  • josephmovie

    Posts: 533

    Nov 28, 2008 9:30 AM GMT
    My coming out was so uneventful. I was actually slightly annoyed that it wasn't more dramatic! Now, after hearing other horror stories, I'm just grateful.

    Well done. Onward!
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Nov 28, 2008 1:29 PM GMT
    Congratulations, your life will be so much better.

    I had a gay brother, he came out before me, made it a lot easier for me when I did.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 28, 2008 2:25 PM GMT
    Well Good for You..... That's fantastic !

    It's a great thing to own your own life and become the man you were meant to be

    There's something truly empowering about being honest in your life and being the same person both inside and out
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    Nov 28, 2008 2:41 PM GMT
    hows your pup taking it?

    (he probably doesnt care, which is wise)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 28, 2008 2:56 PM GMT
    ssguy69 saidPS. I gotta ask: What's with guys timing their coming out during such a stressful time as the holidays?


    ssguy69 saidAll the best to you as you probably feel like 10 tons were lifted off your shoulders.


    Helps destress at stressful times. icon_surprised.gif
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    Nov 28, 2008 2:56 PM GMT


    Hah! That dog's wearing the same expression my Dad did when I told him!

    Congrats frat13tiger!

    -Doug of meninlove
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    Nov 28, 2008 5:41 PM GMT
    Gemini said
    ssguy69 saidPS. I gotta ask: What's with guys timing their coming out during such a stressful time as the holidays?


    ssguy69 saidAll the best to you as you probably feel like 10 tons were lifted off your shoulders.


    Helps destress at stressful times. icon_surprised.gif


    Oh great! Hey Mom and Dad, I've been carrying this 10 ton weight around for some time, I know you're stressed around this time of year but here, you carry this too.

    In the end, It was a good thing to come out, but the timing is questionable.
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    Nov 28, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    Dont you feel so much better man? Congrat's. I am still riding high from my coming out to my family 2 weeks ago. It feels great.
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    Nov 28, 2008 6:07 PM GMT
    Nothing could be more natural that homosexuality. It occurs many places in nature, and it's not an immoral thing.

    False belief systems / religions / cults like to attach guilt to things pleasurable, or different, from whatever the viewpoints of that entity. Consequentially, folks that are in those cults / religions / false belief systems carry around a lot of needless baggage / or hate because of the brainwashing of their participants (it starts at a very young age). This sort of thing was clearly demonstrated in the Prop 8 vote demographics.

    I think the whole idea about the timing is flawed. I'd venture a guess that the young man's parents already had an idea of his sexuality. After all, they've been around him for a very long time. In my case, I know my parents are behind me in most instances.

    It's absolutely ridiculous that, in 2008, a person should get so self-involved with something a small as sexuality. It's a small part of what a person is. It's a real shame some folks get so wrapped up in it.

    I know folks who go around lying to their spouses; their friends; and leading of life of multiple personnas. That's clearly dysfunctional, by almost any standard.

    No person should be self-loathing, low-esteem, deceitful...that's part of the brainwashing of those false belief systems. No person should be so self-involved with their sexuality that it defines everything about them. E.g., just cuz you're gay doesn't mean you need to be a fairy.

    I have a standing rule that I don't associate with discreet or not out. If they can't be honest about something so basic, how could I trust them in a personal or business relationship? It's a common sense thing. I won't be the enabler.

    Let me share with you the story of my mom's two gay brothers, for reflection.

    One brother lived in San Fran. It was the late 80s. He was a bit of a fairy, but not bad. My mom's sister is a nurse. For nearly 2 years, my mom's sister nursed in through HIV. To this day, my mom doesn't know, nor would it be likely, about Raymond's gayness, nor his HIV. She believes, with all her heart, that Raymond got sick, and Pat (her sister) had an affair with him.

    Mom's other brother, Frank, was clearly a fairy. July 7, 1969, Ed, Frank's brother, called Frank a queer. He was in Medford, OR. Frank drove to Eugene, put a 30.06 rifle in his mouth and fired it, leaving the back of his head all over the wall behind him. His mother found it a few hours later. That's what good Catholic gays did in 1969. I remember it well.

    No person should be a such low esteem and such low confidence that have to lead multiple lives, deceive folks, lie, or just generically be a person of low-integrity.

    I won't as act as an enabler to that condition (the guilt, self-loathing, etc.).

    When it's all said and done, we have honor and integrity. Life is to short to impose a self-inflected misery.

    It's good that the poster moved forward. It's not a big deal. He's gay. So what. Now, he can get on about life in an honorable way. Only if he MAKES himself feel bad, shall he.

    It's important to not support low-life dirt bags who are sneaky snakes in the middle of the night. They simply aren't worthy.

    Throwing sound judgment and being all-accepting is wrong, just because someone says they're gay, is prescription for trouble.

    Good for the poster. Now, hopefully, he'll lead a balanced life that isn't centric around being a particular way.
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    Nov 28, 2008 6:26 PM GMT
    I have a weird story :.. I came out to my parents (and some of my ex-friends) a bit more than a year ago , and then , came back inside ..

    My parents forgot it all .. they think that if they forget that I'm gay I'm gonna forget it too .. and become straight ..

    In the meantime I'm not thinking of coming out again until I'm tottaly secure with my self and life ..


    But congratulations , I know how does it feel .. wish you good luck !icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 28, 2008 7:51 PM GMT
    Ah, the Thanksgiving outing; the classics are always in style.icon_razz.gif

    Congrats on comin' out!
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    Nov 28, 2008 9:11 PM GMT
    Congrats! I came-out to my family on Thanksgiving 24 years ago - the day was a bit awkward but I was relieved that they accepted me for who I was. We went through a lot of wine that day!
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    Nov 28, 2008 9:24 PM GMT
    Congratulations!!

    And, welcome to the club of out sons and daughters.
    I'm sure that it was hard to muster the courage at some point to finally come out to your folks.

    Now, it may take a little bit of adjustment for them as well, as it did for you some time ago when you first realized that you were not 100% straight.

    I will suggest that you have on hand somewhere in your email this link:
    http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=416

    It's a link to PFLAG's resource guides to parents, along with their chapter list. At some point, your family may need to chat with others who have been in a similar situations with their kids. Some parents, maybe even your own, may not need this type of resource. I know mine did, as did the parents of several of my friends.

    Again, congratulations! I hope you are doing your part to celebrate that huge step.

    Best regards,
    Perry
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 29, 2008 9:11 AM GMT
    Congrats man! Coming out is an amazing, liberating experience and I'm always excited to hear about it from others!
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    Nov 29, 2008 9:37 AM GMT
    My comming out story is a sad one. Stopped talking to my red neck father and my mom is on anti depressants haha. Other than that others dont really care.
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    Dec 01, 2008 10:53 PM GMT
    frat13tiger saidHey boys, so yesterday was a HUGE day for me. I came out of the closet to my family. Mom's still adjusting, but for the most part, they are ok with everything which is cool. So i just wanted to tell everyone how great i feel! its a million pounds off my shoulders.

    anyone have any good coming out stories?
    You are noble, brave, truthful, and rational. Cheers to you! I wish you nothing but the best, enjoy your life and live and love.

    Luther