Do gay men experience Bromance-style Romance?

  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Oct 17, 2013 3:07 PM GMT
    For many straight men, their girlfriend or wife or partner may be a good companion to them in many ways, but they also tend to have at least one guy friend who's their best bud whom they do all the things best buds do together. For example, a girlfriend usually doesn't go out with her guy to the bar with his other buds.

    Is it possible for gay men to have a best bud like that, yet at the same time who's also their lover? I'm not talking about two previously straight guys in a bromance who suddenly found themselves developing into something more, but of men who already firmly self-identify as gay, yet who become best friends that develop into lovers who want to spend every waking moment and the rest of their lives together and cannot imagine their life without the other person.

    Has this happened to anyone?
  • The_Guruburu

    Posts: 895

    Oct 17, 2013 3:11 PM GMT
    I dont get why you added your straight example, since that involves 2 different people that a straight guy may have in his life (girlfriend/wife and BFF). You're aking if guy guys can have best buds who end up becoming boyfriends/lovers?
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Oct 17, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    The_Guruburu saidI dont get why you added your straight example, since that involves 2 different people that a straight guy may have in his life (girlfriend/wife and BFF). You're aking if guy guys can have best buds who end up becoming boyfriends/lovers?


    To sum up, my question is: Can and do gay guys have BFFs who also develop into boyfriends / lovers?

    I added the straight example because that is not usually the case for straight people. Just wondering if this is an added dimension to friendships and relationships that gay men can experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    I think it's technically impossible because bromance is PLATONIC love. Once they begin dating or do something to cross the platonic line, it's no longer a bromance.

    Some if not many gay men would consider their partner their best friend as well. As for me, although I have my boyfriend, I also have a bromance with my best friend from high school. It's a good thing they get a long.
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    Oct 17, 2013 3:19 PM GMT
    I have 2 best mates , one is gay , the other totally straight . We have known each others for 45 years , supporting , consoling , advising , going trips altogether , but it never developed in anything more that a bloody solid friendship ..
  • JackWQ

    Posts: 5

    Oct 17, 2013 3:35 PM GMT
    I'd say you can, just depends if both of you want something more than friendship and the strings that come with it.

    You're friends now, best friends even, but it's different once you're with them intimately. If things fall apart would you still be still so close?

    Just some things you might to think about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 17, 2013 3:53 PM GMT
    I have, and have had, awesome male friends where the relationship grew into a bromance. Each has at times told the other he loves him (even when not intoxicated.) None of these guys have been bi or gay.
    On the gay side? Everything from casual acquaintances to "good friends" - but not FB or bromance.
    I have esoteric and wide-ranging interests, so finding anybody who shares some of them is a challenge. So statistically my experience comes as no surprise. Even in a totally un-closeted world there would be more of "them" than "us."
    Kinda sux but not really.
  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Oct 17, 2013 5:22 PM GMT
    tmac saidI think it's technically impossible because bromance is PLATONIC love. Once they begin dating or do something to cross the platonic line, it's no longer a bromance.

    Some if not many gay men would consider their partner their best friend as well. As for me, although I have my boyfriend, I also have a bromance with my best friend from high school. It's a good thing they get a long.


    What I'm wondering is if platonic love and romantic love are and/or should be totally separate things. Could romantic love grow out of, and become the enhanced and evolved form of platonic love? Or does the sexual tension potentially ruin everything?
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    Oct 17, 2013 5:50 PM GMT
    Back when I had a gf and my current partner had a gf too, we had a great bromance, of course it endeded up with us dumping our gfs and becoming gay for one another ha ha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2013 12:16 AM GMT
    We had a couple threads here, where the OP has stated it has happened--I can't find them and they haven't been back to say it's working???
    I think it could, but as I see it, the guy's I have bromances with (all straight) the thing or biggest thing we have in common is attitude.
    --in short we'd both be the top in the bed room; so, No.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 18, 2013 12:53 AM GMT
    I have a best bud who I do best buds things with. He's like a brother to me. He's also straight.

    I'd rather have a best bud and a boyfriend than one person filling both roles. It allows you to have someone outside your relationship that you can be close and do things with, which I think is important.

  • hartfan

    Posts: 1037

    Oct 18, 2013 8:14 PM GMT
    Sounds like this really is more of a fantasy than reality.