If we would just be honest for a change....

  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 16, 2007 8:49 PM GMT

    I was reading various forum posts for the heck of it, and there's a debate that keeps coming up on here - the question of why some people don't post "face shots" or keep a lot of info private in their profile.

    I've gotten to a point in my life where I'm proud as hell to be who I am regardless of other people's opinions, so I'm not worried about posting anything about myself and it coming back in a negative way.

    But I think I understand why some people are pissed that there are a number of people who don't post face pics or fill out info on their profile.

    If you're worried about people "finding you out", then stay away. You don't have the balls to be honest, and that says a lot about who you are as a person. Face it, you're a coward. Quit making excuses that it's "your work" or "family". Are you saying I don't have a job or family? Coming out to my family was a real bitch, guys. No bed of roses here. Second, it's reaping the benefits without contributing. You belly up to the "communal bar" of the community, but don't want to do the work or help the rest of us out.

    There is strength in numbers, and if you aren't counted as one of the group for whatever excuse you make up, you're no good to yourself, and you're no good to the rest of us either.

    I had a national manager at work who was the perfect husband, Christian man, married with children kinda guy - who got drunk during a national meeting, and then came onto me after a sales meeting dinner at the hotel we were all staying at - told me he wanted me to come up to his room and f*ck him in the ass (no condom I'm assuming - and by the way, I did not do it and refused). I was angry as hell. He was putting on a facade to get the benefits of a "straight lifestyle" while coming onto me and using his position to get laid.

    I hate hypocrites and I hate people who take from the pot without contributing. This nation was not built by wussies nor cowards. It was founded by people with the guts to stand up for what they believe even if it meant getting killed (Revolution).

    I cannot and will not accept anyone saying that "work" prevents them from being honest on a f*cking gay website. Pack up your crap and go home then.

    Do you realize how much more normal being gay or bi would be if you men quit being such cowards about it and got honest. I don't know - I live in Austin so maybe I'm blessed with cool people who don't give a damn as long as you're a nice person. But regardless, it's 2007, and I for one and fed up with the cowardice.

    No more excuses, no more delaying dealing with the inevitable. Dealing with it "tomorrow" will never happen because tomorrow never comes. Accept it, or don't, but you are who you are - and no amount of working out at the gym and muscles will make you a man or a jock if you can't even handle being honest with who you are.

    The only obstacle that holds the gay community back in today's world are gay men themselves.

    What pisses me off even more is that ANYONE would say "it's my work" or "it's my family" - oh, like I don't have the same situation?!

    Whatever it is, it must be shitty to be you. What a horrible way to live your life. Watch Brokeback Mountain and see your future. The movie is accurate of what happens to men who don't get over it and waste time "fighting" their feelings. You lose. Every time. End up alone and apart of nothing.

    No more excuses. What would the world be like if we were all just freakin honest for a change......?

  • cityguy39

    Posts: 967

    Sep 16, 2007 8:58 PM GMT
    Great post guy. Your going to get alot of feedback on this one. It will be interesting to see the turnout of responses.

    Doug
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    Sep 16, 2007 9:54 PM GMT
    I can't support any of your bitchfest, sorry. I'm more of a "live and let live" kind of guy.
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    Sep 16, 2007 9:57 PM GMT
    Didn't we already go through each and every one of these points in the other thread just now? And why the hell are you making the assumption that someone's sexual orientation should be the defining factor in their life? There's some people out there who DO have their priorities straight you know.
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    Sep 16, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    Is today Groundhog Day?
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    Sep 16, 2007 10:06 PM GMT
    It isnt cowardice at all, we all make a journey in our sexuality and some are further advanced and more confident in who they are than others.

    Also everyone has their own motivations for being on here, some use it as a a pick up joint, nowt wrong with that I flirt but I aint gonna meet any as its an awful long swim!, I like chatting fitness and normally on straight boards you get one troll that doesnt like being told "you can eat all the protein you like your training plan is the problem" and you get a response of "what would you know you fag". Others maybe just chatting with like minded guys and breaking down the feeling of isolation in a stereo typed world we live in. The list is endless.

    Personaly I couldnt give a damn what they look like unless they want to engage in a private chat or message me, but thats only cos I'm nosey and dont like talking then to a torso or worse a cock! (mind you theres time for that too ;-).

    But in general chat who cares? I really dont see why so many guys see it as an issue

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    Sep 16, 2007 10:09 PM GMT
    I also think that all the soap box shouters do more harm than good for equality and inclusion as its setting people apart not drawing them together. I'm me not gay, thats just a label society feels the need to place on me.

  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 16, 2007 10:18 PM GMT


    TOFU - If you're a live and let live kinda guy, then why did you respond? live and don't worry about my posting. it doesn't apply to you, go away.

    BFG1 - then what is the point in posting a face pic in the first place? we should all be anonymous. nope. this is a place for dialogue and discussion and it's not being done while talking to a pair of nipples or abs. thanks, but you fail in your point.

    RUNE - sawwy I hoot you feewings


    Man up boys. On a "gay dialogue" website, why hide? no one has any good answers yet. come on. let's go.
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 16, 2007 10:35 PM GMT

    Let me help some of you see how ridiculous your arguments are so far:

    Is there ANY time in your life, other than Halloween, that you cover your face?

    I nailed it when I said that in the year 2007, the excuses are over. You would never cover your face otherwise, and it's just downright weird that you come on to a gay website and do just that.

    Now, I'm waiting for some good discussions. Anyone, anyone........
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 16, 2007 10:40 PM GMT
    AllAmericanTX, Get a life. You are like a child seeking attention.

    Mike
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    Sep 16, 2007 10:44 PM GMT
    If I was still consulting in the IT industry, I'd sure as shit hide my face.

    If I was married to a woman who didn't know all about my sexuality, I'd probably hide my face.

    If I lived in a country where they'd cut my head off, you bet your ass I'd hide my face.

    If I lived in East Jesus, Iowa, you bet I'd head my face.

    If I lived where Matt Shephard lived, I'd hide my face.

    Austin's a pretty cosmopolitan place, from what I gather. Probably not much of a challenge to be as brave as you are in Austin.

    I'm sure you've heard "when in Rome, do as the Romans do". For some people, Rome is hanging on their shoulders. With guys like you shouting at them, it's no wonder they prefer to drag Rome around.
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    Sep 16, 2007 10:44 PM GMT
    I think AllAmericanTX actually makes some good points. Though I agree if someone doesnt want to come out and be public with their sexuality...they shouldnt have to...but like AllAmericanTX stated....this is a gay website...if youre here and using it...you should show yourself...I agreee with you man...for that instance only...

    Im not out in my work or with my family...and Im showing face...I figure...if someone i know sees this site and me in it...they will have to explain it as much as I do...HA!!

    Plus...I am proud of the man I am...but I have children from being married once and Im waiting for them to grow up a little more before we have the discussion about daddy's sexuality...

    So thats my reason for not being out...but it doesnt stop me from being out on here....and I think everyone should follow my example who uses this site...GOOD POST AATX!!
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    Sep 16, 2007 10:46 PM GMT
    QUOTE:Is there ANY time in your life, other than Halloween, that you cover your face?


    Yes. I do not allow for the public posting or tagging of my pictures on facebook. Other than the main profile photo there are no other public pictures allowed, only pictures that are available to people I have tagged as friends. Break this rule and I de-friend you and de-tag all the pics. Furthermore, most of the details on that profile except email and other contact info are blocked for private view only. You know why I do that? Because some of those pictures could cost me future employment and that having pics on facebook is really inconsequential and does not make my life any better.

    I know you think you're opening our eyes here, but please dude, get over yourself, people actually do have good reasons for not posting pics. If you really want reasons they've been discussed to death in the other thread I mentioned, so go read them, there's no reason to retype them here. But it seems to me you just want to feel important because of how brave you are and how everyone else is a coward. Whatever makes you happy dude :)
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 16, 2007 10:54 PM GMT
    Rune, He did read the other threads. He is just looking for attention.
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    Sep 16, 2007 10:55 PM GMT
    AllAmericanTX I'm a very easy person to be around and my goal is to make people feel comfortable (except in some of these chat forums...these can be brutal LOL)


    So, aren't you asking us to accept your duality in online vs offline personas while also insisting that we conform to your expectations?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 16, 2007 11:02 PM GMT
    ruck_us,

    I did feel to quote some of his profile, but I try not to do that, but seen as you have, I will say this. If you read his profile and read what he posted here you would have to think he is a fake.

    Mike
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 16, 2007 11:05 PM GMT

    Regardless of the negative responses, this is not a place or forum to bash me - which I find so fascinating that some of you are doing.

    Why bash me?? That's the funniest thing. You're not addressing a very, very good point being made. This site is notorious for dialogue, some of it exciting, some of it deep...some of it "controversial"....

    But anyone, any man, who bashes ME because I make a very valid point - simply asking opinions - needs to read my other forum, Hypocrisy in the Gay Community.

    Now, here's the deal....I TOTALLY understand some people are going through a "transition" and are coming around. To you guys, I say WELCOME!!! and I hope you get some good support from this site.

    AS FOR YOU CAREER-FACE HIDERS, this forum is addressed to you. Those of you who troll website to website, getting all the eye candy you can while blaming it on your "work" and the "town you live in".......this posting is made for you - a question as to when you're going to man up like the rest of us.

    Just as I suspected, some of you live in a world of never ending excuses which is funny to me. I DID something about my issues and now, I don't have them. So, why are you STAYING STUCK?

    p.s. There wouldn't be as many Matthew Shepards if men like you came out - there is safety in numbers, but you guys are part of the problem. You lie, are dishonest, and expect the rest of us to get our asses beaten while you collect on the goods. You ought to be ashamed.





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    Sep 16, 2007 11:08 PM GMT
    "If I lived in East Jesus, Iowa, you bet I'd head my face."

    I live in SE Iowa, and my face shot was the first pic I uploaded. Frankly, I was more hesitant about uploading the body shots.

  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 16, 2007 11:10 PM GMT

    MikePhil

    You know, just cause you feel threatened by me is no excuse to be an ass.

    You're like some guy who assumes I would never go out with him so you're gonna attack me personally.

    That only comes from insecure personalities - and regardless of your insignificant opinion of me, I am a phenomenal person. You have never met me so you wouldn't know.

    now, go away.
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    Sep 16, 2007 11:13 PM GMT
    Can we cut the games already and get on with our lives? Here, I'll give you what you want:

    You are so amazing for being brave enough to post your pics!! Oh, how I wish I had such courage. And how great you are for having it. It is a rarity these days and if only more people were like you the world would be a better place! Instead, all the rest of us are cowards and do not even deserve to breathe the same air as someone so brave!


    Happy now? If that's what you want just ask more directly next time and you'll have an easier time getting it.
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    Sep 16, 2007 11:14 PM GMT
    It's funny Matthew Shepard should come up in this thread. I've carried a picture of him in my wallet since his murder to always remind myself that if he could be out where he was, I dare not hide myself.

    Oh and McGay, I'm in IT consulting.
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    Sep 16, 2007 11:17 PM GMT
    Paradox,

    Oh, man, no offense on the Iowa thing. Eesh.

    You're a Jersey boy, though, no? You don't strike me as cornfed.





    "There wouldn't be as many Matthew Shepards if men like you came out "

    You're absolutely right on that count. There'd be far more.
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    Sep 16, 2007 11:29 PM GMT
    "You're a Jersey boy, though, no? You don't strike me as cornfed."

    Yep, I grew up in Princeton and Mantoloking. I've been in Iowa since 1982.
  • allamericantx

    Posts: 140

    Sep 16, 2007 11:30 PM GMT

    That is absolutely incorrect. There would not be more Matthew Shephards. We could end this crap right now - but as long as people hide (and you know who you are) society would NOT have the same belief system it does......and here's why:

    Perception is reality.

    If people, including the "far right" etc, saw how many people were gay and integrated into mainstream society already, the stupid misconceptions of gays being gay would quickly be torn down. People still think being gay is a choice.....now, come on.


    Man, you are just full of B.S. excuses - one right after another....

    you live in Iowa. you're in IT. blah blah blah....so damn tired of the excuses.

  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 16, 2007 11:30 PM GMT
    Mr America,

    "You know, just cause you feel threatened by me is no excuse to be an ass."

    Don't flatter yourself. I don't feel threatened by you at all. Your what gives gay men a bad name.

    "You're like some guy who assumes I would never go out with him so you're gonna attack me personally."

    Should I be flattered here? Would you go out me? :) You are the one attacking, I'm just attacking back.

    "That only comes from insecure personalities - and regardless of your insignificant opinion of me, I am a phenomenal person. You have never met me so you wouldn't know."

    I have never met you and you have never met me. But you post here does not give me a good impression of you. Give me a reason to think of you differently.

    You are now saying that it is just guys that hide because of work that your post is aimed at. Well you need to read your post again because that is not what it says.

    Mike