coming out and ex-gay therapy

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    I want to hear so of your opinions. My parents recently found out I'm gay (and not in the way I would have hoped). I'm 24 (turn 25 in a few days) and most people in my life already new except my parents and siblings. My parents are extremely religious (when I say extremely they have dinner with the archbishop about once a month) and it's part of the reason I had never said anything. Even an aunt who has a gat son told me not to ever tell them since they could not handle it. Well everyone was right and so was my gut.

    Communication between us has been terrible, I proposed at one point not even discussing the subject since it was getting us nowhere. They have been getting informed... just not in the right places. They've been reading stuff like Richard Cohen books, they even went to one of his conferences. They plead me to try "therapy". I would never do that to myself. I know it's more damaging than good. I've never had trouble with my sexuality and I've accepted it since very young.

    I would like to know what you would do. I've tried talking, it doesn't work since our communication method is not optimal. We went to a psychologist I used to go to but they only went to one session since they couldn't accept that I won't change.

    I've put very little context of what I've been going through. I don't live with them (I've lived in another city for the past 5 years but I depend on them economically since I went into medicine)

    so, you thought?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2013 2:16 AM GMT
    Unfortunately, you may have to go your own way for now and give them time.

    It sounds like you have already done what you can - both communication and even talking to a professional. If they are adamant that gay is a lifestyle choice that can be changed, there is not much you can do, other than try and do your best to live your life in a healthy, positive way and try to reach out to your parents when you can, hoping that maybe one day they will come around. Some do, some don't.

    I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a tough situation with loved ones - rejection from parents can be a hard situation to deal with.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11421

    Oct 20, 2013 2:40 AM GMT
    All my relative were very religious .. maybe they liked the wine icon_wink.gif ... but know this ... it may take like 5 years or so, but eventually they will come to terms with it and accept you ... and if they don't .... well then they can go to hell ... you are 25, you are your own man, not their servant, so you get to call the shots in your life whether they like it or not ... if you are still living at home it is time for you to spread your wings and go out on your own, because as long as you live under their roof, you have to abide by their rules. Move to a completely different city or state if possible.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2013 5:41 AM GMT
    so in ur profile u r in a monogamous relationship,and u r independent,so why worry then?

    Just tell ur parents they r not welcome to ur wedding,ur future baby shower and save the christmas gift for themselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2013 9:25 AM GMT
    The ex gay therapy doesn't work. It's been disproven by all major psycholOgical bodies and is known to cause depression, suicidal ideation and many other issues.

    I went through it. Stay away.

    PM me if you need to chat and I will help if I can
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2013 4:45 PM GMT
    I've lived in another city for the past 5-6 years. At least I don't have to get their religious views everyday. Blactor, thanks, I have never even considered therapy. I know it does more harm than good. I love myself and accept myself completely, and respect myself enough to avoid going through something that would damage the love I have for myself.
    Cooper, I not think they are ready to know that lol