Having Kids - Is this really a good idea?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 20, 2013 8:44 AM GMT
    Hello everyone,

    First of all, I've noticed that there's a similar thread to this one. However, I'd like to tackle different aspect of it.

    I'd like to ask for your opinions whether the notion of gay people having kids is really acceptable. This might seem like a no-brainer question, but it goes way deeper than that. Many research suggest that gay parents are as competent, if not slightly advantageous, compared to straight couples in terms of raising children.

    This might be true, but we live in a community and thus interaction with others is inevitable. We might be good parents (which is good for the kids), but what about when they're out there exploring the world? Will they get bullied at school for having 2 dads? Will we as a family be refused a service at a restaurant because we're "different"? Will they face discrimination simply because their parents are gay? These social-oriented problems are the reasons why I hesitate about having kids in the future. The thing is... I really want to have kids with my future husband someday.

    I'm confident that having gay parents won't interfere with their personal development (ex. need a role of a father and a mother, feel lonely, those kinds of arguments) because we have solid research to support that. It's the social-oriented problems that worry me. I mean, sure, we can look at NPH or Ricky Martin. Society seems pretty nice and welcoming toward their kids. However, it's not valid because of 2 reasons: NPH and Ricky Martin are celebrities, people adore them! Also, this is an anecdotal evidence and thus can't be taken as serious as empirically supported research.

    So yeah, I'd like to know your opinions on this matter. We have to remember that the kids get the priority here, not us. So if not having kids is actually better for them, then I guess I'll have to suck it up and swallow this bitter pill.

    Thanks for reading.

    P.S. Let's keep the discussion civil and friendly. We're young enough to do it and old enough to do it right, aren't we? Speaking of which, I'm new here. Looking forward to discuss many things with you guys icon_biggrin.gif
  • Noreaster

    Posts: 8

    Nov 24, 2013 4:56 PM GMT
    Hey there!

    I like this topic. I too want kids with my future husband very much some day.

    I think that there have been struggles in the past when it comes to raising kids similar to what same-sex parents would face today. Interracial couples, at least where i'm from in the South, had a hard time in the last 50 years sometimes. I think that most of them made it out OK. Sure there were probably some awkward things that happened, maybe some nasty comments, or people talking behind their back, not letting their children stay over at the "mixed couple's" house. But in the end, other factors were more important.

    Something my mom told me and I think is absolutely true: "People will make fun of you for something. If it's not this, it would be something else"

    Society will give children a hard time if they are:

    too fat
    too skinny
    too poor
    too rich
    too preppy
    too nerdy
    too religious
    too secular
    too fashion forward
    not fashion forward enough

    You see my point? Yes, you will probably face some discrimination here and there, but I think if you choose your neighborhood and schools wisely, it should work out. I think the level of education where you live may be an important factor. Look for school district in your state with a high level of education per household. More educated people tend to be open minded, although this is not always the case.

    Best of luck to you. In the end, I think showing our future children unconditional love and being involved in their lives will have a much greater impact than some of the hardships they'll go through having Same-Sex parents. everybody has their cross to bear.