Having Your Boyfriend or partner as a workout partner(YES or NO)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 1:35 AM GMT
    So Hey


    Me and the bf joined the gym together with the intention of working out together etc and kinda getting more into couple stuff ,since I used to do home workouts (Didn't have my license )


    But now it just seems like I just end up going to the gym alone ,since he always says his tired or he doesn't like the gym and when we go together he just does cardio and he wants to leave when I'm just half through my workout.


    so he ends up sitting in the car waiting for me ,which just makes me feel bad so I just leave the gym as well instead of finishing of my work-out :-( but oh well.



    he plays squash 3 times a week with his roomie (which he super enjoys )But I just find myself wishing for a bf he would be somewhat into the gym and whose a bit health conscious (and at times tan lol )

    Love is just yeah ............


    I think I'm just gonna keep going alone after Uni and catching the train home instead of sacrificing a work out

    So share your thoughts

    Have you had a bf as workout partner?good or bad experience?Would you do it again?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 3:00 AM GMT
    I think you should go separately. It's really not a big deal. Find other activities to do together. Don't get annoyed that he doesn't work out the way you do, unless you are willing to also play squash 3x a week.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    you would have to be at the same or similar fitness levels and have NOT one jealous bone in your body--So NO!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 6:19 AM GMT
    For this one it could be a yes and no. But for the most part I think it would be yes. At least you can motivate one another on working out at the gym and push each others limits. Then the bad part is if you other half keeps looking and not interested in working out than it can be time consumer.
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    Oct 21, 2013 6:22 AM GMT
    In my case, the times when we go together, we part ways at the door and sort of wish each other a good work out. We might see each other during the hour we're there, but we almost never work out together. He starts cardio first, and I save it till after my work out with weights. We just do our routines differently, so we don't really work out together or spot each other, etc.
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    Oct 21, 2013 6:23 AM GMT
    Depends on the relationship you've both got to each other, how you train as individuals; also depends on your relationship with each other, and how you communicate none gym related things.
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    Oct 21, 2013 6:32 AM GMT
    I think the first step to answering this question - a fantastic question, by the way - is to determine what type of person you and your boyfriend are when it comes to the gym. I usually see three types of people whenever I go to the gym. They are:

    1) Dependent, sociable type:

    - The guys belonging to this group almost always work out with their friends/partners, and you might even find them looking miserable when they are at the gym alone. They definitely look happier working out with another person or two, and they also don't tend to mind interacting with other people at the gym.

    2) Independent, sociable type:

    - The guys belonging to this group almost always work out by themselves, but they don't hesitate on asking someone to spot them here and there, or offering to help when they see others struggling. They are pretty sociable and easy to approach, but they don't necessarily work out with others - they do their own thing.

    3) Independent, unsociable type (my type):

    - The guys belonging to this group almost always work out by themselves, and they keep to themselves most of the time. They can still be pretty good with offering a hand whenever someone asks for a spot, but they don't make the effort to approach other people either.

    My future boyfriend would simply have to accept that I am not the type to enjoy working out with others and that, as much as I love him, I need to be on my own at the gym. Everyone requires their personal space, though obviously how much the personal space is needed and when it is needed vary from one person to another. Even if my boyfriend turned out to be the dependent, sociable type, I know it would be bad for our relationship for us to be workout partners. My past experience in working out with my friends never turned out to be sustainable, and I really can't see how it would be better, even with someone that I have strong feelings for.

    So if you or your boyfriend happen to be either the second or the third type, I would recommend against becoming workout buddies with your boyfriend. It may seem like a trivial, simple task, but it can be quite imposing on a person who really needs to have his own personal time here and there.
  • Rowing_Ant

    Posts: 1504

    Oct 21, 2013 7:48 AM GMT
    You see, I LOVE working out with others. And really miss it - I used to train with a squad of guys when rowing you see.

    I have trained with my BF. It was......frustrating as he's got a huge lazy streak. He wants to work out simply for the aesthetics. Thats fine. But needs a lot of pushing (which did motivate me to work out more, basically to get him in a routine of working out.). It sorted of worked. But sort of didnt as he "doesnt see the point" of going to the gym. He's not put Big Arms = Gym time together in his head.......
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 9:25 AM GMT
    I say it's possible. If you have the same goals for fitness and somewhat the same routine.

    With my ex we used to go hiking on weekends but during the week each went to the gym separately since our schedules wouldn't allow us to go at the same time. Besides we had difference routines.

    So for you I think each should go separately since you want to train longer. Maybe he can arrive separately and leave when he is done, that way you'll see each other but won't put pressure on each other. And during weekends find an activity you both like, for me it was hiking, and the good thing was when I was in a relationship we push each other to do more.
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    Oct 21, 2013 10:01 AM GMT
    stevee90 saidI think the first step to answering this question - a fantastic question, by the way - is to determine what type of person you and your boyfriend are when it comes to the gym. I usually see three types of people whenever I go to the gym. They are:

    1) Dependent, sociable type:

    - The guys belonging to this group almost always work out with their friends/partners, and you might even find them looking miserable when they are at the gym alone. They definitely look happier working out with another person or two, and they also don't tend to mind interacting with other people at the gym.

    2) Independent, sociable type:

    - The guys belonging to this group almost always work out by themselves, but they don't hesitate on asking someone to spot them here and there, or offering to help when they see others struggling. They are pretty sociable and easy to approach, but they don't necessarily work out with others - they do their own thing.

    3) Independent, unsociable type (my type):

    - The guys belonging to this group almost always work out by themselves, and they keep to themselves most of the time. They can still be pretty good with offering a hand whenever someone asks for a spot, but they don't make the effort to approach other people either.

    My future boyfriend would simply have to accept that I am not the type to enjoy working out with others and that, as much as I love him, I need to be on my own at the gym. Everyone requires their personal space, though obviously how much the personal space is needed and when it is needed vary from one person to another. Even if my boyfriend turned out to be the dependent, sociable type, I know it would be bad for our relationship for us to be workout partners. My past experience in working out with my friends never turned out to be sustainable, and I really can't see how it would be better, even with someone that I have strong feelings for.

    So if you or your boyfriend happen to be either the second or the third type, I would recommend against becoming workout buddies with your boyfriend. It may seem like a trivial, simple task, but it can be quite imposing on a person who really needs to have his own personal time here and there.


    This. Except I'd consider myself a number two.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 11:19 AM GMT
    If you are both working towards same goal in gym then why not, but it seems like you both have very different approach. So it would be better to go separately.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Oct 21, 2013 11:38 AM GMT
    I think it depends on how secure both individuals are. I was able to work out pretty harmoniously with one of my ex partners. When we went to they gym, he would do his routine, and I would do mine. Occasionally we would end up with similar routines and share equipment, but we weren't ever workout partners.

    But with another ex BF, it led to a lot of friction because he was very competitive and always felt compelled to prove himself. It made working out together very unpleasant and we gave up on that idea (and then ultimately on being BFs).

    I learned that, for me, it's important for a BF to have some physical endeavor that he really enjoys--but it doesn't have to be the same things I like to do. Being active and fit are important for me personally, and I would want a BF to also be active and fit, but on his own terms. It would make me claustrophobic if he always wanted to do the same things I did.

    So, OP, it sounds like your BF has something he does that keeps him physically active (squash). Let that be his thing, and the gym can be your thing. If he doesn't enjoy the gym, don't force it. Otherwise, it could seem to him that you're trying to change him into your version of what's acceptable.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 21, 2013 11:55 AM GMT
    It would probably never work for me in all instances. I don't mind assisting or spotting for my partner and vice versa, but some of what I do require a focus and it best
    be accomplished on my own.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 11:57 AM GMT
    I prefer working out alone, but would gladly have a bf to spot me when I do chest and bench press!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 1:26 PM GMT
    No because we would get on each other's nerves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 1:39 PM GMT
    Veni_Vidi_Vici saidI prefer working out alone, but would gladly have a bf to spot me when I do chest and bench press!


    For the most part, I agree with Veni. It really depends on the workout though. If I am doing weightlifting, I prefer to be solo unless I need a spot. If I am doing something that is more cardio/plyometric focused, then having a partner in crime really helps me push through. Plus I am competitive so really try to do better and last longer than who I am with. Having that someone helps me push to the limit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    My BF and I have tried, but it never works when we go to the gym together. We finish at different times, have trouble showing up at the same time, and once in a while we bicker like like a couple and its embarrassing.

    What surprises me is that your BF sits in the car. What a waste. If one makes it all the way to the gym, why not go inside and make the best of it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 2:06 PM GMT
    My BF drives me crazy when we work out together. He totally sucks. :-) But I keep dragging him to the gym because otherwise I would have to have sex with a fat slob who has an even shorter lifespan ;-)(and he is worth preserving). He openly admits that he needs my motivation... my guidance. He is lazy, and does not understand the concept of spotting. I just have to get my inspiration or motivation (and a safe spot) from within or other guys. And just try to keep him into it. I am sure I look like a bully when doing it... Can't imagine how the analysts in this conversation would classify me... lol

    Oh and P.S.... I don't train with anyone else... because I always tend to develop a sexual infatuation with training partners... :-) I started taking my BF to the gym with me to avoid that.

    Glad to see from others on here that there is no ideal paradise when working out with a BF ...
  • bburg34

    Posts: 127

    Oct 21, 2013 2:07 PM GMT
    One fantasy of mine is to find a top or vers guy in NYC to date and juice together. We'd workout and gain 30-40 lbs of lean mass together,
    push each other in the gym and flex and cum at home afterwards.

    The REALITY is that any workout partner peters out after 3 or 4 months of training... People flake. It's human nature.

    The whole idea of a workout partner is someone you are not used to. So the bf is the opposite of what you need. You need someone to push you, who you have no relationship with:
    either a trainer, or someone in your gym who is only there because--like you--they want to double their productivity by having a dispassionate, pressuring presence to force you them do what is difficult and painful. BF will never do it. icon_evil.gif
  • in_this_corne...

    Posts: 704

    Oct 21, 2013 2:43 PM GMT
    You guys have different priorities and goals...so no...not a good workout partner. This will cause unnecessary squabbles.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 21, 2013 3:38 PM GMT
    i probably would say no for me. i wear my earphones so i do not do a whole lot of talking. i also usually have my own idea of what i am going to do so its best i workout by myself. unless we had similar goals i would say no
  • groundcombat

    Posts: 945

    Oct 21, 2013 4:38 PM GMT
    Depends. Some (aka most) lifting partners are much too chatty for my tastes. I actually prefer lifting alone for that reason. And also because I'm a control freak and like to dictate what I do during my workouts. Which actually isn't too bad since it's unlikely we have the same workout goals, metabolism, focus areas, etc.
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    Oct 21, 2013 5:22 PM GMT
    I admit, there have been a few guys i've met at the gym lead into dates, and I have gone running and biking with guys I've... well... gotten sweaty with in other ways... but sometimes the workout needs to be considered "alone time" for the singular focus that you can only give yourself.

    I'm not sure if (or when) I have a real BF that I'd want him around when I need to stay focused.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 21, 2013 5:47 PM GMT
    Yep. The bf and I do CrossFit together - and we keep each other accountable (or just sleep in together). There is that independent bit, but also a bit where you do end up often having to pair with someone for the strength training bit. Attention is diffused as you're all doing similar stuff as a group. There's also a bit of a competitive element albeit in a relatively structured environment.
  • GMSatire

    Posts: 18

    Oct 21, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    I think it could work if you had similar fitness goals...

    My biggest problem when I've tried this is that I get raging boners when I'm working out with a hot muscle guy. I just go alone now.