Advice Request

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 1:41 PM GMT
    Hey guys,

    I go to the gym and there is this really quiet guy that I am really attracted to. At the beginning I wasn't attracted to him at all, it's because I think he is totally straight...couple that with his exteremly beautiful boy next door look, tall hieght, and muscular fit body it just seemed I am probably not his type. I've seen him interact with his friend at the gym nearby and he is not firing off my gaydar at all. He and I normally workout at opposite ends of the room which enforces my belief that he is not attracted to me because he does not notice me.

    This all changed when I started noticing him do things around me. I ask to be forgiven if it is all in my head which I think it is..this is where you guys come in to give me focus and grounding.

    For example, when I'm working out, he would sometimes pass by me so that I would perhaps notice him? which is weird cause it seems a little bit off the direct path to go my way just to go the water fountain. The walk is also much slower pace than usual. There was a time also that I bumped into him drinking from the water fountain and he was taking longer than usual perhaps for me to clearly notice him...I did ofcourse, I was behind him and scanning him from top to bottom. Damn those arms are thick!

    Another, is when I would move away to another part of the room to lift weights and I would find him shortly after close by, but still far, but always within eyesight as if he is trying to get noticed by invading my circle of space gently/discreetly. FInally, there was this time he was walking away from having finish using his equipment when he and I locked eye contact for a brief second across the room and he suddenly turns around and throws his towel on the seat again and works out some more? I left a few minutes thereafter had to go.

    Now I need to know if this guy is really attracted to me. Sadly I cannot read this guy so I would like to know what you guys think of this? Is it all in my head? I was just minding my own business.....I hope he is not doing this just for show or he is confused about his sexuality and I'd be the person for him to experiment with cause he looks really straight to me. There are so many probabilities both good and bad.

    I'll never know at this point as I am moving to a new city today. I regret that the situation has played out in this way for me. Gym membership has already been deactivated and I needed to focus in making arrangements to move out, and I was determined to approach him and ask him if he's interested in going for a drink.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 1:56 PM GMT
    Reading your description of the events gives me the impression that he is not gay, but maybe does want to talk to you. Guys like making friends with other guys it does not necessarily imply anything sexual. Since you are moving to another city this will not evolve further, but next time strike up a conversation. You never know you might have a good straight friend after awhile. And if he is gay or bi then all the better.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 2:32 PM GMT
    So then this is all moot? Well, regarding the next time & place:

    Depending on the size of the gym, guys doing a circuit will pass each other all the time. There may be no significance in that alone. And some guys look out of curiosity to see how others are doing with their workouts, what weights they're working with, etc, and just to see when an equipment piece will be open.

    It could be more significant if the looking continued into the locker room. A guy cruising you would probably take the opportunity of checking you out minus your clothes, and maybe join you in the shower, sauna or steam room. The last 2 are great places to start up a casual but brief conversation (a lotta men dislike chatterboxes in there), that you can build upon the next time you see him.

    Once you're talking regularly, see if you can learn about his car, and if he drives it there. Express an interest in seeing it (assuming it's something more intriguing than a Chevy Cavalier), or maybe your own wheels are a draw for him.

    Either way, it gets you both alone outside together, with some comfortable guy stuff to talk about further. At that point a suggestion you go for coffee at Starbucks is easier and more natural than trying that back inside the gym.

    There are lots of other ways to break the ice and get things started, but I'll let others here have a turn.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Nov 29, 2008 3:21 PM GMT
    I think the moral of this story can be summed up in latin

    ...... Carpe Diemicon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 6:33 PM GMT
    GQjock saidI think the moral of this story can be summed up in latin

    ...... Carpe Diemicon_smile.gif


    God is a fish? icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 8:53 PM GMT
    Why are you even analyzing this? You can always stop by one day around the time he usually goes and just ask him out. Otherwise, just move on. I mean, you haven't even talked to this guy and you're analyzing his every move. Next time, don't analyze...ACT. If you approach people properly, even the nutties of people can be talked to about anything. There's no reason you cant just plain ask somebody. Just do it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 8:56 PM GMT
    Keep
    It
    Simple
    Silly

    Go ask the guy if he wants to hang out sometime. If he has an interest, he'll say yes, otherwise, just move on.

    Often, the simplest, most obvious solution, is the best.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 29, 2008 9:55 PM GMT
    You are sitting in the gym noticing this guy is not coming close to you

    He may be sitting on the opposite side of the gym, noticing you not coming close to him.

    There is no full proof way of knowing he is gay. Even if you catch him giving head in the sauna you can't be sure. You need to crawl out of your own interior world and put yourself out there for people to notice. Talk to the guy. Say "hey, i see you in here all the time and I just thought I would introduce myself" blah blah blah and so on.

    To use another Latin phrase Fortes fortuna adiuvat
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2008 6:02 AM GMT
    SurrealLife saidReading your description of the events gives me the impression that he is not gay, but maybe does want to talk to you...


    I had no idea guys would go through all this routine if they're interested in talking to you. Wouldn't it be alot easier for him to just talk to me than go about it this way? I have no interest in him originally but his approach or whatever he is doing thereafter (his way of trying to talk to me) is getting me confused. Because for me, if I want to talk to people I just go up to them and talk and ask questions...why would he go about it that way? *shrugs* However, I would act the way he does if I am somewhat attracted to the person. I hope you see my point of view?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2008 6:13 AM GMT
    Thanks for all your great input everyone....

    I'm going to move on but if i see him which I highly doubt I'll go hit him in the head and try to drag him home icon_razz.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 30, 2008 5:27 PM GMT
    Well what everyone said was legit. But the way you describe some actions are questionable of course.

    For instance, I really don't change my daily routine but there are times when I happen to be close to a very hot man during a good portion of my workout. That means that there is usually big eye contact and all that shit. It can't be helped of course.

    But as for watching to see if you get hit on in the gym, I've yet to understand that at all.

    Overall, it's probably coincidence. That's it.