Do you ever give a guy a chance if there is no initial attraction?

  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Oct 24, 2013 6:41 AM GMT
    I've noticed that for a lot of guys it's do or die: if there is no attraction instantly, then there is no chance of anything happening in the future. Dismissed!

    Why do we use such a fascist system? Is it because most of the time we are just looking for sex? Or is it something a little deeper.
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    Oct 24, 2013 6:54 AM GMT
    Nah I usually entertain it for all the free meals.. lol
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    Oct 24, 2013 6:58 AM GMT
    I think it depends on the vibe/attraction level. Just because there's no attraction, doesn't mean we can't be friends! It depends on his motive, too! But I don't lead people on once I'm certain that I'm not interested! There were guys that I met initially and hated but ended up dating/being good friends, so I guess never say never. icon_cool.gif


  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 24, 2013 6:59 AM GMT
    Yes ... But no more ... It's really a waste of time to do so
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    Oct 24, 2013 7:08 AM GMT

    jonnymia saidI lead guys on based on how close/attractive they are to me. If a guy is a 7 out of 10, but lives within the neighborhood, I lead him on just in case I need a quick screw.

    But if I really find him attractive and like him, I keep my distance as to not appear to desperate and needy. I might check in every once in awhile to let him know I'm interested, but always leave the ball in his court.

    UNLESS...you are really hot, but I don't find your personality attractive (think the Venezuelan meathead) then I ignore you most of the time until I'm horny enough then I bluntly make it known I need to get laid.

    I don't know why I'm still single!!! icon_biggrin.gif

    Interesting o.o
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    Oct 24, 2013 7:09 AM GMT
    jonnymia saidI lead guys on based on how close/attractive they are to me. If a guy is a 7 out of 10, but lives within the neighborhood, I lead him on just in case I need a quick screw.

    But if I really find him attractive and like him, I keep my distance as to not appear to desperate and needy. I might check in every once in awhile to let him know I'm interested, but always leave the ball in his court.

    UNLESS...you are really hot, but I don't find your personality attractive (think the Venezuelan meathead) then I ignore you most of the time until I'm horny enough then I bluntly make it known I need to get laid.

    I don't know why I'm still single!!! icon_biggrin.gif


    Hahahaha, you're a little evil icon_evil.gif! but somehow I like your approach! icon_redface.gificon_lol.gif
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    Oct 24, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    Isn't this what paper bags are for? Oops…did I say that out loud? icon_eek.gificon_eek.gif
  • laydbck

    Posts: 34

    Oct 24, 2013 7:07 PM GMT
    manners and personality say a lot for the ltr Looks will change but personality wont
    but there has to be some attraction
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 24, 2013 7:13 PM GMT
    ViciousRumor saidNot really. I know what I want and if you're not that I won't even bother to speak to you.
    No wonder why your single
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    Oct 24, 2013 7:18 PM GMT
    I'm kinda trying that now so I'll let you know.
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    Oct 24, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    If the spark is not there I'm not gonna push it. It's not fair to me or the other person.

    But that doesn't mean I can't be friends with the person.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 24, 2013 10:59 PM GMT
    ViciousRumor said
    LoveAndPeace said
    ViciousRumor saidNot really. I know what I want and if you're not that I won't even bother to speak to you.
    No wonder why your single


    So what I'm supposed to settle because I'm not some adonis? Go fuck yourself you dumb bitch
    Love you too icon_smile.gif
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Oct 24, 2013 11:04 PM GMT
    jonnymia saidI lead guys on based on how close/attractive they are to me. If a guy is a 7 out of 10, but lives within the neighborhood, I lead him on just in case I need a quick screw.

    But if I really find him attractive and like him, I keep my distance as to not appear to desperate and needy. I might check in every once in awhile to let him know I'm interested, but always leave the ball in his court.

    UNLESS...you are really hot, but I don't find your personality attractive (think the Venezuelan meathead) then I ignore you most of the time until I'm horny enough then I bluntly make it known I need to get laid.

    I don't know why I'm still single!!! icon_biggrin.gif


    OMG! Jmuscm is back! Awesome.

    I do the same thing when it comes to guys--If they're attractive and close, I lead them on. If I'm really interested, I prefer for them to chase. The ones that are purely physical, then it's purely physical. Not proud to admit it.. but as such this game goes.
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    Oct 24, 2013 11:06 PM GMT
    sometimes how 'into' me they are can lead them to being more 'attractive' to me. That said, i find 'attractive' in the weirdest things... LOL.
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    Oct 24, 2013 11:52 PM GMT
    yeah.I give chances because it takes time for someone to grow on me and I'm not a believer of first impressions.


    Lol many of my friends ended up foreveralone because of their do or die attitude lol
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    Oct 24, 2013 11:58 PM GMT
    Yes. The first times I did it were out of pity; years ago. A few guys in I found I actually found myself attracted to guys who were outside my "perfect list" and not the typical gay perfect stereotypes. For that reason, I find that I like and dislike things about individuals based on themselves as individuals, and not based on what groups their traits could possibly generalize them into.
    I like someone, cause I like them for who they are and what they bring to life. icon_idea.gif
  • rac727

    Posts: 196

    Oct 25, 2013 3:04 AM GMT
    I would be friends with him but I wouldn't date or have sex with him if there was no attraction maybe if the attraction grew but if I don't find him attractive like that right away I don't think I will later lol
  • Eli_jah

    Posts: 1391

    Oct 25, 2013 3:16 AM GMT
    ViciousRumor saidNot really. I know what I want and if you're not that I won't even bother to speak to you.


    Dammmmnnnnn!
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    Oct 25, 2013 3:42 AM GMT
    ViciousRumor said
    Dopeamine said
    ViciousRumor saidNot really. I know what I want and if you're not that I won't even bother to speak to you.


    Dammmmnnnnn!


    Oh I come to play! When I'm looking for a man all those who aren't my type do not exist. But if I'm just looking for friends I'm usually not caring.

    Hey cutie.
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    Oct 25, 2013 7:35 AM GMT
    I've never approached guys and guys have never approached me.

    I'm usually willing to give anyone a chance though I follow my gut if I feel something is off.
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    Oct 25, 2013 8:01 AM GMT
    I agree with Darklight, we men (no matter what preference we have) are more willing to find sex ( I know pretty romantic and lovable straight guys as well as just pussy fuckers). I once did tried to date someone without attraction, but no, believe, its a waste of time. I know what comes from inside is what cares, but the first impression is always important, there are hot guys that can be douches, so at the end they arent attractive anymore. So, yeah, you cant force yourself to like someone you dont really like, it has to come within time, if it gets to happen. So its like we are half superficial, :/
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    Oct 27, 2013 5:40 AM GMT
    jonnymia saidI lead guys on based on how close/attractive they are to me. If a guy is a 7 out of 10, but lives within the neighborhood, I lead him on just in case I need a quick screw.

    But if I really find him attractive and like him, I keep my distance as to not appear to desperate and needy. I might check in every once in awhile to let him know I'm interested, but always leave the ball in his court.

    UNLESS...you are really hot, but I don't find your personality attractive (think the Venezuelan meathead) then I ignore you most of the time until I'm horny enough then I bluntly make it known I need to get laid.

    I don't know why I'm still single!!! icon_biggrin.gif


    lmao u got banned
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    Oct 29, 2013 12:32 AM GMT
    DarkLight saidHey thanks for your in put on the point I was making, but I have to stop you before you make a generalization in saying, "it's like we are half superficial" that isn't true. Love and the effects of it has no lines or boundaries when it comes to a genuine feeling with someone. I say that because you could see, talk to, or hear something that somebody else does that may start an initial attraction, or a combination of those listed.

    I think when a person allows themselves to be programmed into thinking, "sex and sexiness is the prime attraction and associating sex as "love" or caring for someone is NOT a functional way of understanding true emotions and the direction of feelings. In fact those may point to deeper issues of how love or sex was first introduced to the individual as they have come to conclude what either is as an adult.


    Yeah, I think I almoslt generalized, Im sorry, its just sometimes I can be pretty harsh and extremist when talking, but yeah, its more deeper and complex depending on the person. Thanks for looking up my mistake icon_smile.gif.
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    Oct 29, 2013 6:40 AM GMT
    I am sorry i can't. i am very shallow in who i find attractive. i would most likely not respond because i never want him to know and feel bad because i never want to hurt him... leading him on would be not very honest when i want him to be always honest with me in return.
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    Oct 29, 2013 6:55 AM GMT
    yep I do give them a chance, they may turn out to be a good friend,
    however!
    If they constantly keep trying it on with me, after I have made it quite clear that nothing will happen, they are obliterated from my life. I don't want some needy self hating undignified person around me, thats what RJ is for icon_wink.gif