How many of you...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 6:55 AM GMT
    Are in a relationship while living out in a rural setting? If so, how'd you meet him? Right now I'm stuck out in the country with about a 3 hour drive to any gay leagues/organizations or gay clubs, so it's a little tough to find other guys. Plus I don't know many guys that like long distance relationships. So, you guys have any other ideas for a guy stuck in the middle of nowhere? If not, I guess RJ will have to do for now icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 30, 2008 7:14 AM GMT
    Heh. I'm out in the middle of nowhere too. I've pretty much given up finding someone until I can move. I don't care much for long-distance shit too.

    I guess for guys like you, that's what the internet is for. icon_razz.gif You can search by locality anyway, so try finding someone around your area. It may still be long distance but not by that much.

    But yeah, I know the feeling LOL. Anyway you'll be going to school by next year? So just patience I guess heh. Would not be good to set down roots when you're still moving around. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 7:15 AM GMT
    Aw buddy, there are some that want that.

    Hell I was gonna move from the big city to a rural setting. I didn't care, I was gonna be there for one reason, him.

    You dont need gay places to find a guy, the internet is a great way to find friends. If you want to date someone, im sure there are some people in your area.

    Sure long distance relationships are hard. As long as you both have been searching for the same thing, both can handle the time away. When you see one another, it makes your time much better. Lets things develope slow till one wants to move with the other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 1:52 PM GMT
    I lived for a number of years in the US Upper Midwest near the Canadian border, and the gays & lesbians there created an online group for themselves. Called Rainbow Ranch, it was on eGroups if I remember correctly, later moved to Yahoo.

    We used it as a dating service, and for socializing, having monthly get-togethers around the state, including camp-outs in the summer. For a while I lived in a town of only 500, where there were a few gays, but not a lot of choice, so being able to network across hundreds of miles was great.

    I did finally settle down with a guy for 2 years in a tiny farming town, who strangely enough had been living just a few doors down from me before I realized he was gay through a newspaper article. The article didn't mention him being gay, but my gaydar knew.

    Not a lot to do for gays there, but there was a gay bar 70 miles away, which we'd visit on weekends, sometimes staying over with local gay friends we found. And not just overnighting for sex, but to avoid the drive home after midnight in the winter, with temps well below zero and sudden blizzards not uncommon.

    It was an interesting change of pace for me for a few years (a very SLOW pace), but for right now I'm enjoying the exact opposite here in South Florida, where I do something different with gay friends & organizations almost every day. In fact, sometimes I'm too busy, and might enjoy a brief return up there for a few weeks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 4:40 PM GMT

    This must be a curse of old age - feeling that a l'il matchmaking can't hurt anyone.

    ...there are two guys in their 20s, single and in the london area here on RJ.

  • DiverScience

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    Nov 30, 2008 4:44 PM GMT
    canadianguy35 saidAre in a relationship while living out in a rural setting? If so, how'd you meet him? Right now I'm stuck out in the country with about a 3 hour drive to any gay leagues/organizations or gay clubs, so it's a little tough to find other guys. Plus I don't know many guys that like long distance relationships. So, you guys have any other ideas for a guy stuck in the middle of nowhere? If not, I guess RJ will have to do for now icon_wink.gif


    Being closer isn't always that helpful. I'm only an hour from Boston and have similar troubles. Hope you find someone, you're far too cute not to.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 5:17 PM GMT
    My boyfriends father lives in Utah at the border with Arizona. He has been on the dating scene for two years now living there and the only place to look is the internet. There just aren't that many single women living in his community. Now, where he a gay man his options would be a fraction of his straight options. There is no shame in using the internet to look.

    Aside from the internet, you would look like how any other person looks. Build yourself a social network or use the one you have, let it be known that you are looking, and keep expanding that social circle until it lands you some hot LTR ass.

    godspeed good sir.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 5:21 PM GMT
    There is a rural gay organization if I can find the link I will post it. You can google it too. There are MANY people in your situation and you can find people who appreciate rural living.

    for example

    http://ruralgaydating.com/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 5:28 PM GMT
    I do think it is harder for those in the rural areas to meet others. Even in a city like Beaumont, with two gay bars, many guys won't/don't go there because they are not "out," or just aren't into bars.

    If you do go to bars, those who are there on a regular basis, typically aren't good material for a boyfriend.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 5:38 PM GMT
    This has really nothing to do with your post I just thought it was funny

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 6:22 PM GMT
    I've struggled a lot with this one. When I moved to Charlotte I felt the difference of a major city and a big country town. They have many gay bars here but I'm not into bars. From what I've been told you see the same people over and over again. You soon can figure out who the gay guys at the gym are but that selection doesn't change much either. There is also the closet factor. In smaller cities it is harder to anonymous so many guys choose the closet.

    I've had very little success from the internet because of my age. I felt like I fell off a cliff when I turned 45. At 20 you don't have that problem so the internet could be your best choice.

    If you do meet the right guy I'm convinced there are many positive aspects to living in smaller cities. I'd think you'd learn to appreciate what you have instead of thinking that there must be someone better around the corner. Plus you get the great outdoors at your doorstep and the lower stress has to help any relationship.

    I'd rather live in Europe than the US but If I had a lover and could choice to live anywhere in US, I'd settle in Asheville. It is funky, gay friendly, surrounded by the highest peaks in the east and numerous national and state forests and parks. In the summer we could skinny dip in the plunge pool below a 200 foot waterfall or kayak in a magnificent gorge. If the winter days became too dreary we'd hop in the car and drive 4 hours to Charleston where we could surf and watch the dolphins on Folly Beach. Now doesn't that sound like a more romantic lifestyle than clubbing? I may end up there even without a lover one day.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 30, 2008 7:37 PM GMT
    No real "relationships." I've had a couple of "vacation buddies," who come out to spend a weekend or a week on the farm, once or twice a year. I met them on the internet, but they came out this way because it's kind of a vacation destination.

    I set up a large guest suite, with the idea that friends and colleagues from the city could use it as a quiet retreat to come work on a manuscript or just get away from the city for a bit. I've been a little slow getting it all finished, though, so it's still not clear how well that model will work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2008 4:45 AM GMT
    Thanks for the support/help guys. Definitely helps to hear I'm not alone in this icon_wink.gif. I'll keep looking around at other sites, definitely can't hurt. Having just started coming out to friends/family this year I guess I haven't done much networking, definitely have to tap into that one. Never been in a real relationship, so I guess another year or two isn't gonna hurt... much. icon_lol.gif Goodluck to all you guys that are in the same boat!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2008 4:51 AM GMT

    Everytime I see a gay couple or lesbian couple around here I always want to ask them similiar questions....but I don't.