Dating someone for his looks

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2013 1:43 AM GMT
    Been dating a guy for over a month now... he's a great guy and meets a lot of my criteria lol, but personality-wise we really don't have much in common. If he asked me what I like about him, the only answer I can think of is that he's upfront about his feelings.

    He's very hot yet likes me a lot and doing most of the work in the relationship, which is a big part of the reason why I'm still giving this a shot. It also helps that he lives 2 blocks from me. Sometimes I tell myself "don't be so picky, you already hit the jackpot, keep him, flaws and all!" Other times I feel horrible for "using" him by letting this relationship go on.

    Half a year ago, I dated someone who was the perfect fit character-wise, who checked ALL the boxes, except that while most of my friends found him hot, I somehow didn't. I kind of miss him sometimes.
  • LoveAndPeace

    Posts: 460

    Oct 28, 2013 3:20 AM GMT
    Jesus christ gays these days.SO superficial
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    Oct 28, 2013 3:24 AM GMT
    I've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.
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    Oct 28, 2013 4:10 AM GMT
    Not going to hurl a nasty comment towards you but just hear me out... first of all while its true that we all want someone physically attractive you cant just base the whole relationship on that... because after you've had sex .. or gotten over their " hotness " then what do you have left ? .. nothing. You will have nothing to talk about. There will be those long uncomfortable pauses when you are together because there is nothing to draw you both closer.
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    Oct 28, 2013 4:19 AM GMT
    I'd love someone who looks at me on a date. Hate it when a guy is checking out other dudes, or chicks for that matter. Fuch dat shiz!
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 28, 2013 4:31 AM GMT
    Is this a real thread.icon_confused.gif
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    Oct 28, 2013 4:34 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidIs this a real thread.icon_confused.gif
    Sometimes. The OP is magical.
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    Oct 28, 2013 4:40 AM GMT
    I would let this guy go. This relationship is never going to work and it would be kinder to walk away now than to drag it out. The novelty of his hotness will eventually fade and you will find yourself looking for a new kind of hot guy. Infatuation only last when you can't get the guy your infatuated with.
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    Oct 28, 2013 4:43 AM GMT
    JonSpringon saidI've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.

    It's amazing how many great looking books in the gay community that end up being very poor reads...most are very short stories too!
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    Oct 28, 2013 4:44 AM GMT
    I mean there's definitely more to relationships to sex and looks, but that doesn't mean they aren't important at all. If you're not attracted to a person, that doesn't mean you have to date them just because they're nice.

    But if your relationship is just based on shallow feelings, than maybe that's all it is.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 28, 2013 4:49 AM GMT
    It's funny how everyone likes to say looks fade, as if what's on the inside is preserved while the shell deteriorates. Your brain will fade along with your looks if you take it for granted. If you want to be the full package, you have to read and lift weights. Having a great personality is no excuse for flab, and being buff is no excuse for being a dullard.
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    Oct 28, 2013 5:16 AM GMT
    HottJoe saidIt's funny how everyone likes to say looks fade, as if what's on the inside is preserved while the shell deteriorates. Your brain will fade along with your looks if you take it for granted. If you want to be the full package, you have to read and lift weights. Having a great personality is no excuse for flab, and being buff is no excuse for being a dullard.


    I'd take t even further than that. I personally think desires change. What is alluring to you today may not be as appealing to you tomorrow. Even if looks don't fade. Even if a man's personality is static, you will see him in a different light. That can be just as disruptive as him loosing his looks or not being the man you fell in love with.
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    Oct 28, 2013 5:29 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidDo this man a favor and let him go. It sounds like you don't deserve him.


    + 1, Lol, OP, sounds like you want more and more and that poor guy will never live up to your expectations!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2013 5:34 AM GMT
    Trust me, not worth it.

    My one friend is super attractive (abs, perfect cut), but I have no interest in daring him because his personality is kinda lackluster. He's a great friend and I just plan on keeping it that's way.

    PERSONAL QUALITY > PHYSICAL QUALITY
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Oct 28, 2013 5:44 AM GMT
    sonicpower20 saidTrust me, not worth it.

    My one friend is super attractive (abs, perfect cut), but I have no interest in daring him because his personality is kinda lackluster. He's a great friend and I just plan on keeping it that's way.

    PERSONAL QUALITY > PHYSICAL QUALITY

    So your friends are boring and hot and your bf is not.

    You're doing it wrong!
  • swimbud

    Posts: 115

    Oct 28, 2013 6:15 AM GMT
    Why do people ask questions they already know the answer to?

    If you don't feel right about it, it's probably wrong... Life is WAY to short to be in a relationship with someone you can't intellectually connect with. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2013 9:41 AM GMT
    I'm serious about the magnet thing and maybe my entourage has something in the works even though I'm not necessarily asking for it. I like ltrs and date people worth my time and conversation. I'll fuck a guy for his looks but if we don't have something in common i would prefer to get in my niche and would somebody goal oriented please be my secretary, I've got fan mail to read and labels to sign, and sweepstakes and scholarships to enter, student loans to pay off, still haven't brushed up on my sites to see before I travel the world, music and comic books to write, gardens to grow, hobbies to pursue, money to capitalize on, vocabulary to ingrain in my head from what I've read, designers and an artist to hire, bingo night with charades to attend, a gym and house to review blueprints for in ergonomic and fashionable ways, guys to flirt with, a little brother and sister to acclimate, a mother to watch and accompany on her thriving cohabitation, an uncle to mentally reassure, technology to browse, repurposed commodities to put together resourcefully, memorabilia to derive organically, art materials to get hands on with, squirrels to feed, temporary tattoos to buy, cologne to smell, jewelry to make and sell, expos to attend, dance parties to throw, window shopping to show stop while getting the sales pitch, CDs to collect, toys to let dutch catch, I heard consistency is a good thing when looking for a boyfriend. Good way of putting it, because i like frequency, but consistent in what? Mood following is what I like, and if its a give and take theres plenty of ways to arrange that. I'm curious what guys see more fair in plan making, encouragement of drawing numbers/dates or scheduling.
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    Oct 28, 2013 11:50 AM GMT
    eb925guy said
    JonSpringon saidI've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.

    It's amazing how many great looking books in the gay community that end up being very poor reads...most are very short stories too!


    In the gay community, they're more like leaflets.
  • tckrguys

    Posts: 133

    Oct 28, 2013 1:08 PM GMT
    We have found there are 2 key areas to make a relationship work, 1) honesty and 2) communication. You haven't lived up to the first one and the second is lacking.

    Let him down gently and move on until you can find someone that you have more in common with than just sex.
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    Oct 28, 2013 1:26 PM GMT
    JonSpringon saidI've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.

    +1

    I like the analogy.
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    Oct 28, 2013 1:52 PM GMT
    Erik101 said
    eb925guy said
    JonSpringon saidI've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.

    It's amazing how many great looking books in the gay community that end up being very poor reads...most are very short stories too!


    In the gay community, they're more like leaflets.


    Stop being so cynical, its becoming the overarching gay personality trait.
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    Oct 28, 2013 2:24 PM GMT
    taichiguy said
    Erik101 said
    eb925guy said
    JonSpringon saidI've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.

    It's amazing how many great looking books in the gay community that end up being very poor reads...most are very short stories too!


    In the gay community, they're more like leaflets.


    Stop being so cynical, its becoming the overarching gay personality trait.

    Cynics are the lowest form of human life. I avoid them like the plague.
  • The_Guruburu

    Posts: 895

    Oct 28, 2013 2:44 PM GMT
    smartmoney said
    taichiguy said
    Erik101 said
    eb925guy said
    JonSpringon saidI've never been a "Judge a book by the cover" kind of guy... but I admit, I'm more likely to pick a book up if the cover looks exciting.

    However, if the book can't hold my interest, I put it down.

    Looks are the "grab" factor... personality, humor, wit, intelligence, THOSE are all "keep reading" factors.

    It's amazing how many great looking books in the gay community that end up being very poor reads...most are very short stories too!


    In the gay community, they're more like leaflets.


    Stop being so cynical, its becoming the overarching gay personality trait.

    Cynics are the lowest form of human life. I avoid them like the plague.

    And yet, you're on the Internet...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 28, 2013 6:20 PM GMT
    I think you should tell him that he is a nice guy but you are just not that well suited to each other....then send him my way kthxbai
  • Nayro

    Posts: 1825

    Oct 28, 2013 6:22 PM GMT
    dump him, and send him my way icon_lol.gif