How do you talk to the hot guy at the gym?


  • Oct 29, 2013 3:51 AM GMT
    I have never seen anyone who makes me immediately weak in the knees, tongue-tied, sweating, nervous and mind-completely-blank like this guy at the gym that works out the same time I do every day. He is so incredibly beautiful, the most perfect human specimen of man I have ever seen. I'd love to talk to him even to be just an occasional gym bud that said hi every once in a while. Lol yeah I got it bad.

    Anyway, how am I supposed to talk to him? We both listen to music constantly so it's not even realistic to strike up a conversation. I have a pretty good feeling he's not even gay but he's so damn fine, I just want to know him. I'm not a big conversationalist so I'm already awkward when it comes to this kind of thing, let alone factoring in his Greek god, other-worldly good looks. I feel like it's the Laura Linney situation in Love Actually and know its never going to happen. But godddd I want it to!!! Any advice??
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    Oct 29, 2013 3:53 AM GMT
    SWilliams21278 saidI have never seen anyone who makes me immediately weak in the knees, tongue-tied, sweating, nervous and mind-completely-blank like this guy at the gym that works out the same time I do every day. He is so incredibly beautiful, the most perfect human specimen of man I have ever seen. I'd love to talk to him even to be just an occasional gym bud that said hi every once in a while. Lol yeah I got it bad.

    Anyway, how am I supposed to talk to him? We both listen to music constantly so it's not even realistic to strike up a conversation. I have a pretty good feeling he's not even gay but he's so damn fine, I just want to know him. I'm not a big conversationalist so I'm already awkward when it comes to this kind of thing, let alone factoring in his Greek god, other-worldly good looks. I feel like it's the Laura Linney situation in Love Actually and know its never going to happen. But godddd I want it to!!! Any advice??

    In before someone says YCYL (you cruise you lose)

    For real though, if he's got his headphones in and listening to music, he clearly doesn't want to be bothered. Let it go man...
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    Oct 29, 2013 5:03 AM GMT
    What J said.

    Also, if there is no eye contact AND a smile, there is no interest.
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    Oct 29, 2013 5:09 AM GMT
    I disagree. Studious lack of eye contact sometimes means "interested but shy."

    Someone you see every day... you are allowed at least to say "Hi" in passing, for starters. And maybe introduce yourself.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11406

    Oct 29, 2013 5:21 AM GMT
    Play hard to get ... act like you don't see him icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 29, 2013 5:24 AM GMT
    what if the guys that go to your gym are raging stallion porn stars? they don't talk much to anyone, icon_lol.gif
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    Oct 29, 2013 5:48 AM GMT
    bend_and_snap.gif
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    Oct 29, 2013 5:51 AM GMT
    about time someone made a thread about this. i just look and admire. i'm shy icon_redface.gif
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    Oct 29, 2013 5:55 AM GMT
    mindgarden saidI disagree. Studious lack of eye contact sometimes means "interested but shy."

    Someone you see every day... you are allowed at least to say "Hi" in passing, for starters. And maybe introduce yourself.


    After 3 years here in SF, I know who the regulars are, and we at least make civil eye contact.

    I'm sure they're thinking, "Shit, I hope I'm as tight when I get to gramps age." icon_lol.gif

    There are a few guys older than me who look fagulously buff.
  • killercliche

    Posts: 948

    Oct 29, 2013 5:57 AM GMT
    ask if you can work in a set on a machine he is using or if he could spot you while you bench etc.

    ...I usually hate when people do that to me, but I can't think of another way to casually talk to someone you have no reason to talk to.
  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Oct 29, 2013 6:12 AM GMT
    There are a few hot one's at my gym but that does not mean they are on the same planet as me? I always say good morning even if they do not reply but most do?


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    Oct 29, 2013 7:02 AM GMT
    Just as you would talk to anyone else at the gym.
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    Oct 29, 2013 7:05 AM GMT
    Say "hi"

    take it from there, not that hard really
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    Oct 29, 2013 8:49 AM GMT
    You should observe his behaviours at the gym for a week or two before you decide on your move. See if he ever removes his earphones and strikes up a conversation with someone he's not really friends with. See if he is the type to ask someone to spot for him/accept without reluctance when someone asks him for spotting. How often does he seem distracted while working out?Does he often look at others, in a way that a guy at a party would look around to find someone to talk to?

    If you never see him chatting with other guys and seem mostly focused on himself, then you should just let him be. I personally do not like being approached by people (not just strangers, but friends and family members as well), so I can tell you that, if he's the introvert-gym type, your best chance is to leave him alone and just hope you will run into him in a setting where he'll be more sociable.

    If he seems sociable enough, then make an eye contact with him one day, and just give him a quick nod and a smile. I've seen a lot of regulars at my gym becoming acquainted with each other, so it's certainly not an unusual gesture to give a courtesy smile to another regular member or even to say a quick hi.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 29, 2013 9:09 AM GMT
    How about you do a exercise that's near him that will require a spot. That is the best way to strike up a conversation with any guy at the gym. The most common exercise to ask for help is bench press. Why don't you that. Once you have done that you can ask his name or even ask if he ever needs a workout partner.
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    Oct 29, 2013 9:45 AM GMT
    YCYL
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    Oct 29, 2013 12:57 PM GMT
    Work in with him on something like a Lat machine or a calf machine , or ask if you can follow on the squat rack- theres never enough of those at Gyms
  • secondstartot...

    Posts: 1314

    Oct 29, 2013 1:42 PM GMT
    I talk to the Hot guys at the gym telepathically from quite far away
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    Oct 29, 2013 2:26 PM GMT
    "Hello", "You using that?", "Thanks", and "This is my # set" are all I ever really say when at the gym; cause I want to focus on the intensity of my workout; not the social nuances of meeting new guys.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Oct 29, 2013 2:35 PM GMT
    Trial smile never hurts.

    Its nonsexual and nonthreatening.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Oct 29, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    I'd ask him a question about some of the gym equipment.. something you are really curious about.. make it real. Be friendly. A question like that is a great conversation opener and it gives you the opportunity to chat again and say hello in a pretty natural way. I'd think nothing of it.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Oct 29, 2013 2:53 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidLike others said it starts with the eyes. I may be quick at first but overtime the glances stayed locked longer and eventually end with a smile. Then you know.
    ha ha that is so ridiculous. u actually become the stalky or creepy guy at the gym. that is not a good idea.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Oct 29, 2013 3:29 PM GMT
    If this guy is working out at the same time you are every day, then why not just go up to him, extend your hand for a handshake and say "I see you here everyday, thought I'd just introduce myself, I'm (your name here)"
    It's just a friendly way to say hi and see how he reacts. You'll know if he's friendly or not by his response and you've at least broken the ice.

    Now, if he never takes his headphones out and makes no eye contact at all, then he probably does not want to be bothered, so you may just have to let it go.

    Some guys just want to focus and get through a workout, I know I've encountered some chatty guys that really slow things down because I don't like to be rude and walk away. So, if you get a positive response don't get carried away, keep it light - you don't want to end up annoying him. If he ends up being friendly and speaks more often, then you could invite him for a drink or something after a workout sometime. Assume he's straight until proven otherwise.

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    Oct 29, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    SWilliams21278 saidI have never seen anyone who makes me immediately weak in the knees, tongue-tied, sweating, nervous and mind-completely-blank like this guy at the gym that works out the same time I do every day. He is so incredibly beautiful, the most perfect human specimen of man I have ever seen. I'd love to talk to him even to be just an occasional gym bud that said hi every once in a while. Lol yeah I got it bad.

    Anyway, how am I supposed to talk to him? We both listen to music constantly so it's not even realistic to strike up a conversation. I have a pretty good feeling he's not even gay but he's so damn fine, I just want to know him. I'm not a big conversationalist so I'm already awkward when it comes to this kind of thing, let alone factoring in his Greek god, other-worldly good looks. I feel like it's the Laura Linney situation in Love Actually and know its never going to happen. But godddd I want it to!!! Any advice??



    I remain stunned at how many threads just like this one pop up every month.

    But yeah, I have some advice, given that I'm the oldest dude in this thread and usually the oldest by at least 2x, maybe 3x in my gym at the time I generally workout, but yet I have ZERO issues meeting people. Why?

    1) be approachable. Get rid of that stupid ass headset so people can talk to you.

    2) know as many people as you can in there. The more you know, the easier it is to meet more, and then you seem safe if you're seen talking to everyone else and it's obvious that everyone else knows you.

    3) find or develop some valid, worthwhile, unusual routine that others want to learn and do. I do this with a brutal ab workout that puts everyone out of commission for a few days from the 2nd day after to about day 5 or 6 after the first time they do it. Word gets around and you'll find that everyone wants to work in with you on it.

    4) don't be looking for anything, but gym buds and friends. If there's something 'there' it will develop on its own.

    5) be funny. Smile, laugh, behave like you're gonna have a good time every minute you're in there. Now for clarification: I'm not saying to be fucking off and not working out. Work out hard and have a good time doing it.

    6) most importantly .... you want to talk to someone .... just do it and think about it later instead of the reverse.
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    Oct 29, 2013 3:48 PM GMT
    I pull down his shorts and underwear and say, "Dayum, your nutz!" icon_twisted.gif