Dec 01, 2008 5:41 AM GMT
We've both read many posts over the months that state the poster believes in unconditional love and will hold out for a relationship with another man that is just that. Unconditional.
While we appreciate the sentiment, and indeed, it's an ideal, a sought after type of love, what is it?
There are enormous downsides in a truly unconditional in-love relationship that few truly ponder.
For example - it means that no matter how much your partner beats you, cheats you, steals from you, abandons you or otherwise lets you down or hurts you, your feelings can't change and you can't react by withdrawing, chiding, leaving, retaliating, disapproving or anything else because by doing so, you have added conditions to the love you offer.
Unconditional love happens over time - long lengths of it, and even so, depends on how well each party is willing to give of themselves and give up themselves to the other.
Those beating the drum of unconditional love need to understand that sex would be absolutely unnecessary in such a relationship, the same with friendship. The same goes for your partner being attractive to you (example: in shape physically). Again, any requirements for the above are conditions.
Those in unconditional lover relationships (and we doubt there is such a thing) cannot have needs or have needs met. We believe unconditional love is to be sought after once a relationship is established and successful, and only possible if BOTH parties are determined and can guarantee their feelings will and can never change under any possible circumstances.
Gentlemen, the floor is yours....