Dating a more attractive guy / dating out of my league

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2013 4:52 PM GMT
    Hi guys, i hope all is well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2013 5:31 PM GMT
    Chances are he's just as insecure as you are don't let this hold you back. Be happy icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 30, 2013 7:30 PM GMT
    Since you are of different races you may have different opinions on what makes the other attractive. He might be seeing you differently than you see you. As long as he is sincere and you really like him i would go for it. I think you should have a conversation about this with him. Even if you guys don't work out in the end he may shine some light on how other guys perceive you. Sometimes that perception is better than you think.
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    Oct 30, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    I don't think it matters so much about race. People like other people for whatever reasons! You just need to be more cool and have more confidence in yourself! I guess it'll come with time and more dating experience. From my experience, super hot gorgeous guys are usually flawed somewhere, I don't hold them on a pedestal. Nobody's perfect. Good luck. icon_biggrin.gif


  • jasian

    Posts: 21

    Oct 31, 2013 12:48 AM GMT
    Yeah, be confident. I am not sure which country you are originally from, but Asians tend to be humble and not as expressive as other cultures. And some people focus more on inside than on outside, they are just not that shallow. So keep dating and try to know each other.
  • CityofDreams

    Posts: 1173

    Oct 31, 2013 1:49 AM GMT
    If he is with you, it's because he views you as his his +1. Don't ruin it with your insecurities! ;)
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    Oct 31, 2013 2:18 AM GMT
    Before you go too far with this, get him to add you on facebook and see how many Asians he has on his friend list. Pokémon catchers care more about quantity and quality, don't be a statistic.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2013 2:24 AM GMT
    Personally I don't think leagues are real. They are more a reflection of your own lack of self confidence. Focus on chemistry instead.
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    Oct 31, 2013 8:54 AM GMT
    He obviously likes you and throw leagues out of the window. I dated a guy who thought I was out of his league and as a result his insecurities left him finding imaginary things to try and bring me down (he admitted this after we split). Just enjoy the moments you spend with each other and don't question his attraction to you, unless he gives you a reason to do so.

    Also there is no such thing or "real image" of a perfect couple. The media, advertisements, and commercials certainly find couples that look perfect together, but that's not what makes a relationship worthwhile for most people. One of the beautiful things of a "mismatch" couple is being able to learn new traditions and about one another. Stay open minded, listen to what he says (don't be in awe of his beauty while he's talking), and remain intelligent (love can make you dumb).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2013 3:18 PM GMT
    If you think a guy is out of your league, you're right.
    That said, if you are a hot Asian and live in the Pacific Northwest, I may have an alternative for you, because I happen to be in the market for insecure, non-English speaking, sock account, puppets right now.
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    Oct 31, 2013 3:33 PM GMT
    Let me understand this correctly. So a good looking white guy found you very attractive and has been on several dates with you. And yet, you're letting your thoughts of being unattractive get in the way of a possible relationship.

    Here's a question that so far, none of the guys replying to your thread has asked....WHY are you feeling this way?

    I think I know what your issue is but I'd like to hear your explanation first.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 01, 2013 10:26 AM GMT
    AnOriginal saidHe obviously likes you and throw leagues out of the window. I dated a guy who thought I was out of his league and as a result his insecurities left him finding imaginary things to try and bring me down (he admitted this after We split). Just enjoy the moments you spend with each other and don't question his attraction to you, unless he gives you a reason to do so.

    Also there is no such thing or "real image" of a perfect couple. The media, advertisements, and commercials certainly find couples that look perfect together, but that's not what makes a relationship worthwhile for most people. One of the beautiful things of a "mismatch" couple is being able to learn new traditions and about one another. Stay open minded, listen to what he says (don't be in awe of his beauty while he's talking), and remain intelligent (love can make you dumb).


    Perfect advice!! I say go for it or you will have major regrets later! He sounds like a catch!
  • BryUSC88

    Posts: 198

    Nov 02, 2013 2:20 AM GMT
    I understand what people are saying about self confidence...but I also understand what the OP is saying. I think I have pretty good self confidence, but I dated a guy once that I couldn't help but feel was out of my league. He was a grad student in college...smoking hot...and people were constantly hitting on him...male and female. As much as I cared for the guy, I couldn't help but be VERY uncomfortable in that relationship. I always had the feeling that this relationship wasn't quite for me. But I could never have ended it because I was very much into him. As expected, he moved away when he graduated from grad school. I think there is something to dating "in your league". Now if an ugly guy happens to land a hottie...well good for him. But if I were the ugly guy, I just don't think I'd be comfortable with that.

    I might take some heat for this opinion...but it's just that. My opinion. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 02, 2013 6:40 AM GMT
    Thanks everyone for replying and trying to help me out.
    First I want to answer Erik101's question: I don't know, I just don't think that I'm attractive. I've been on grindr for quite sometime, I don't get hit on a lot. a few times i've got hit on were by guys who were either much older guys (sorry I don't mean to offend anyone but they were like 30 years older than me and just wanted to get me into bed), or hideous no-face-pic-and-not-willing-to-send-one guys. icon_confused.gif

    Yeah I know that I'm being insecure for no reason because he has not given me a reason to. I also know how people say "just enjoy the moment and don't worry too much" but there are also people who tell me not to be blinded, always keep an eyes out and control myself, don't be a fool, stuff like those. I mean both sides have very good reasoning, I'm just confused.

    And my case is a bit different from BryUSC88's because the guy I'm dating does not get hit on a lot because he chose to stay down low, he does not want to have a profile picture on because he does not want people to hit on him just for his appearance.
    He seems honest and I like him better everyday.

    Hopefully it stays true to what one of you have said: pokemon catchers are about quality. He's a pokemon catcher, hope he indeed finds something in me. Cuz being played is the worst experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 02, 2013 7:26 AM GMT
    CityofDreams saidIf he is with you, it's because he views you as his his +1. Don't ruin it with your insecurities! ;)


    This. Go get some therapy to help with the self-esteem issues. The gym helps.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 02, 2013 7:37 AM GMT
    I don't mean to sound depressing but what is the % for successful relationship from Grindr. I am glad you both enjoy each other but enjoy the ride and expect the unexpected.
  • squally

    Posts: 180

    Nov 02, 2013 7:40 AM GMT
    I think it's all in your head.
    Be a little bit more trustworthy and take people's words at face value unless proven otherwise~
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 02, 2013 7:44 AM GMT
    isnt Grindr for hookup?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 02, 2013 5:48 PM GMT
    Doggett saidisnt Grindr for hookup?


    Not 'just for hooking up' anymore. Grindr is more than that.
    I've quite a few decent guys on there