Where can I find a relationship?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2013 1:15 AM GMT
    So guys I need some advice. It's embarrassing to say, but I have never been in a relationship before. Well there was this one girl, but that doesn't really count. I've been using a lot of dating sites like grindr, Jack'd, okcupid, match.com and much more, but haven't gotten any luck. Everyone on these sites seems like they want to get laid. I don't want this at all. So my question to you guys is what can I do and where can I go to find the right guy who doesn't want a quickie?

    Thanks for the help

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2013 1:20 AM GMT
    You can find a relationship in my pants.icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 31, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    That's not funny.
  • AMoonHawk

    Posts: 11421

    Oct 31, 2013 1:48 AM GMT
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6082

    Oct 31, 2013 2:01 AM GMT
    You know, as a general rule, capital R relationships can't be found in stores like "Relationships-R-Us" or whatever. Hookup apps are certainly not going to help you nor most dating sites. Not saying it is impossible, just highly unlikely. Have realistic expectations while shopping in those locals.

    So what is a young gay man to do once he has begun to realize it isn't so much "where" as "how" and "with whom"? Most of this wouldn't even be an issue if we lived in a society where teens felt comfortable being out and dating one another the way their hetero counterparts do. Things being as they are, however, the whole thing gets very distorted and understandably confusing. Hooking up (or "tricking" as we once said) is relatively easy by comparison to finding anything even remotely resembling a life-partner or husband.

    Most will reasonably suggest you begin by becoming the type of man you would want a relationship with. Beyond that it is mostly a matter of putting yourself out there, dating, and discovering what works and what doesn't. I will tell you this, although hetero marriages at 22 are not uncommon, keep in mind that there is an entire social system supporting them. This is generally not the case with gay relationships. It can take years for young gay men to come to terms, not only with their sexuality (that by comparison is relatively easy), but with their need to bond with another man and form a loving, caring, responsible, supportive, communicative *R*elationship.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 4030

    Oct 31, 2013 3:26 AM GMT
    dating pretty much involves sex when you are gay. nobody is really going to wait. if you want a bf you should probably be prepared to put out too...3rd date max.

    your local college will have a gay club...give that a try
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3162

    Oct 31, 2013 4:02 AM GMT
    Don't necessarily discount the casual encounter: Dan Savage picked his husband up in a club, I think they may have hooked up in the bathroom, and something like 20 years later they're still going strong. A "relationship" may find you where you least expect it.

    I found my partner on RJ, and we emailed and talked and Skyped for 6 months before we met each other, and that was nearly 3 years ago.

    Just keep your head up, be someone that you yourself would want to date, and just have fun. Someone you want to call yours will come along.