I just came out to my biological mother on Nov 26th

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    Dec 01, 2008 11:43 AM GMT
    Ok so heres the story. I have been in th DSS system from birth and visitations with my mother was severed when i was only 6.

    Fast forward

    Ok so I did get adopted and woohoo that's great and all but i still wanted to see my birth mother again. I had been trying since i was 18 because i had to wait that long to find my mother. I had no idea where to look and the system wasn't exactly rushing to my aid with my search for mom so i just kept waiting and then calling dss every now and then and i sort of gave up after only a few months because i didn't really know what i could do.

    Fast forward

    It's around 5 am sometime in march just after my 19th birthday which is febraury 24th for anybody who cares to know. I decide to randomly 411 my mother as if it would really work. I was doubting she would be listed actually. Turned out she was listed and lived on the opposite end of the city that i was and still am living in and i sure got excited. WEEEEEE!!! Mommy I'm coming!

    So i did get a number and i called it. Who else could have the last name Agnos in springfield. Thank the goddess i was right.
    A woman answered the phone. Hello?
    Is Regina there?
    Yeah that's me
    HI MOM
    Who is this?
    Alexander
    Who?
    It's me alex your son...

    So I arranged to go see her and well she did gain weight from all her meds but this definitely was my mommy.

    Fast forward

    I had only visited her a few times but then i got a job at taco bell so i had been busy for a while i was also feeling nervous about being around her because she hadn't exactly said nice things about gays whenever the subject came up and i was afraid i might slip and either act a little too gay or talk about a relationship i was in or had had because i am normally open like that. Well my mom kpt calling me on occasion and i did return the phone calls and the i love yous but i wasn't real sure about going to see her especially when i was wearing my pride bracelet that i had made permanent by melting the not that tied it to my wrist. Well she called me up on thanks giving and left a message because i wasn't available as in no signal where i was at in the boston area and she sounded really upset and her seisures i guess were more frequent due to depression and other causes. so i called her back and told her i would see her soon. Luckily the next day i was late to work and while i was on my way to work via the bus transfer paid for and everything. i was called my the closing manager and she said that my shift was covered that they were already blowing labor and that i could come in if i wanted to but that it wasn't really necessary. i looked at my transfer stub. and smiled. I'm going to see mom.
    I called to tell her i was coming but noboidy answered so i surprised her when she opened the door. "good surprise" She already knew that i enjoyed smoking marijuana so that was a non issue and her boyfriend of 20 years hooked me up and i lit up and talked about random stuff with mom. I mentioned that i lived in a house full of lesbians and she said something that got me hopeful. She said something like i think they are weird but i hope that there souls are safe. So that's when i asked if she would care if one of her kids was different.
    which kid what do you mean different?
    What if i were a little different
    how different are you?
    Well...
    You mean gay? that's what "boyfriend" said he thinks you are. Why are you?
    well would you still love me?
    Of course i still love you your my son but i am worried for your soul.
    Mind you she's scizzofrenic. has seissures when upset and has conversation with the bloody devil sometimes while being a devout christian that happens to stay at home all the time because she's also paranoid but hey she's my mother and nothing about that is ever going to chaqnge.

    BTW later on she said i was her favorite and perfect son. I said except for one thing and she said nope your still my favorite son and still perfect in my eyes.
    icon_redface.gificon_smile.gificon_redface.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 01, 2008 12:46 PM GMT
    In Massachusetts, DSS = Department of Social Services, for abused and neglected children, who are typically removed from their parents under court order.

    It's touching & noble that you wanted to see your mother, and that you retain obvious affection for her. But if she does have the mental issues you describe, then don't be too surprised or disappointed if she suddenly does a 180 and becomes hostile to the idea of your being gay.

    Don't judge yourself as she judges you, if she turns against you, a real possibility. It won't be her, but her disorder speaking, something you can't cure or debate against. At those times, break off and wait for a better day.

    But I hope those are few, or perhaps not happen at all if she's taking meds regularly (my own seizures from epilepsy are mostly controlled by meds, but can likewise have them under stress). I presume you're not still living with your adoptive parents, since you mentioned "a house full of lesbians," but do they know you're visiting your biological mother?
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    Dec 01, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    Well Alexander congratulations on finding the courage to come out to your biological mother. I have come across one or two schizophrenics in my time and it is a pretty horrible disease. Hopefully with time she will become even more comfortable with your same-sex feelings.
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    Dec 01, 2008 10:50 PM GMT


    Alexander89, you are a very noble and brave man. Cheers to you!!
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    Dec 02, 2008 7:20 AM GMT
    thanks guys
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    Dec 02, 2008 7:50 AM GMT
    Congrats Alexander! I remember you've been trying to do this for the longest time and I'm happy it turned out well for you. icon_smile.gif
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    Dec 03, 2008 10:43 AM GMT
    oh marry me sedative. It's legal in my state. lol
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    Dec 04, 2008 2:15 PM GMT
    Alexander89 saidoh marry me sedative. It's legal in my state. lol


    But we can't oh Alexander. My mommy won't allow it. icon_lol.gif
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    Dec 05, 2008 8:31 AM GMT
    Most moms seem to love me. i think by having three i've learned a thing or two about mommies.lol