Get Along Better With Straights Than Gays

  • Dallas214

    Posts: 3

    Nov 03, 2013 8:39 PM GMT
    Does anyone else out there seem to get along better with straights than gays? I went to a mixed party last night and it just seemed to me that I had more in common with the straights than the gays. The gays were talking about their new face creams or what fabulous vacations they were going on. The straights were talking more about real life topics, like juggling a job and being a single mother, raising an autistic son. Do you guys have more in common with straights or gays?
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    Nov 03, 2013 8:45 PM GMT
    I feel you, The things I'm into are not popular in the gay world so I stick to my straight friends. Before joining RJ I tried to meet other gays (because I only have 1 gay friend) but the experience wasn't very good. Ive met some cool people in RJ but we live too far away to hang out in real life.
  • PR_GMR

    Posts: 3831

    Nov 03, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    Unfortunately, I'm one of those types too. Earlier this year I had a friendship with a typically gay man go straight to hell. He was a bitter-angry queen.. histrionic to the extreme.. and I found his moods irrational. Ever since, I've been revaluating my friendships with gay men and realizing that I don't get along with typically gay men. Sad, but true.
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    Nov 03, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    I get along with everyone in real life and can find anything to talk to them about. I have a bunch of gay friends and when we get together, we talk about anything. Now that I think about it, the only subject we talk about that's gay is hot men.
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    Nov 03, 2013 8:52 PM GMT
    Jaggal saidI feel like most of you are trying not to talk about "gay men" but perhaps "stereotypically gay men"?

    Thats what I was talking about; I tried to find some normal gay man to talk about nirmal things and do stuff I like and found none (at least in my city).
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    Nov 03, 2013 8:58 PM GMT
    I haven't had that problem, most of the gays I associate with are down to earth and talk about real world subjects, same as the straight people I know. It really depends on where you socialize at.
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    Nov 03, 2013 8:58 PM GMT
    Jaggal said
    David3000 said
    Jaggal saidI feel like most of you are trying not to talk about "gay men" but perhaps "stereotypically gay men"?

    Thats what I was talking about; I tried to find some normal gay man to talk about nirmal things and do stuff I like and found none (at least in my city).


    There seems to be quite a bit on RJ, eh?

    Yeah found some cool people here but they live too far away. I stick to my friends they're perfect and my bros but It would be cool to have a couple friends like them but gay so I can say whatever dirty thing I want
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    Nov 03, 2013 9:00 PM GMT
    Depends on the dudes--all gash this and baby mama that.

    I'm finding I have more in common with Women in long term relationships--very sad for me.
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    Nov 03, 2013 9:01 PM GMT
    Gays who relate to straights who relate to single moms. Here begs the question, why do atypical gays relate to single moms? Is the wishful thinking of getting straights working again?
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    Nov 03, 2013 9:13 PM GMT
    zukunft saidGays who relate to straights who relate to single moms. Here begs the question, why do atypical gays relate to single moms? Is the wishful thinking of getting straights working again?


    Please point out an "atypical gay"?

    and how does it apply to the unemployment of straights?
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    Nov 03, 2013 9:20 PM GMT
    Not two hours ago I had such a hetero conversation. One of my grade school friend's children just proposed hetero marriage to his girlfriend. My friends are so excited, they are going to be in-laws!

    Now, I speak neither hair product nor football, so I always have to faked it. I joined in their celebration (I am actually happy for their happiness) and congratulated them on their wonderful accomplishment, but I warned: the day you become grandparents, our friendship is over. I can't be seen hanging out with you old people.

    Then we discussed how the kids have to rush it because, while their son is 30, she's already 35 and I think their vagina falls out at 40 or they can't get impregnated without the proper shoes or something like that.

    You don't have to always know what to say. Just nod politely and smile.

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    Nov 03, 2013 9:21 PM GMT
    my issue is quite the opposite. i dont get along with straight ppl cuz they always make me feel really awkward. straight dudes always think that i want them for whatever reason and straight girls always think that i'm a fashion guru or some shit just cuz i'm bi. so all my friends are gay and i like it that way
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 03, 2013 11:51 PM GMT
    It looks likes everyone here is getting along.icon_twisted.gif

    It's true that there are things you just don't talk about with straight people.
  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Nov 04, 2013 12:08 AM GMT
    Erik101 saidI get along with everyone in real life and can find anything to talk to them about. I have a bunch of gay friends and when we get together, we talk about anything. Now that I think about it, the only subject we talk about that's gay is hot men.


    This.

    I guess it has to do with whether your friends are your GAY friends, or your gay FRIENDS. Mine tend to the latter and include an NCAA ski champion, an engineer, two computer nerds (one of whom is a national-class rower), etc. We talk about all sorts of stuff - though the hot men topic does come up from time to time.

    Maybe you need a wider range of friends? Though frankly, I tend to find my gay FRIENDS a more self-examined, thoughtful bunch than a lot of my straight friends...
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    Nov 04, 2013 12:15 AM GMT
    tazzari said
    Erik101 saidI get along with everyone in real life and can find anything to talk to them about. I have a bunch of gay friends and when we get together, we talk about anything. Now that I think about it, the only subject we talk about that's gay is hot men.


    This.

    I guess it has to do with whether your friends are your GAY friends, or your gay FRIENDS. Mine tend to the latter and include an NCAA ski champion, an engineer, two computer nerds (one of whom is a national-class rower), etc. We talk about all sorts of stuff - though the hot men topic does come up from time to time.

    Maybe you need a wider range of friends? Though frankly, I tend to find my gay FRIENDS a more self-examined, thoughtful bunch than a lot of my straight friends...


    wat is the difference between a GAY friend and a gay FRIEND? lol it seems to me those are the same words
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    Nov 04, 2013 2:50 PM GMT
    Dallas214 saidDoes anyone else out there seem to get along better with straights than gays?


    No doubt about it.
    None of the out gay guys at my job are any more than nodding acquaintances. An "open" Lesbian and I were workplace buddies before she left the company, but that was it for the same-sexers. Oh - and a closeted guy will pass by with that "I know you know" look and smile. Everyone I've grown closest with has been hetero.

    On the home front, there's a guy (60 if a day) around the corner who's stuck in adolescence and working the "loud and proud" shtick. The apartment house he lives in and owns stays one step ahead of being condemned. He and the guests for his frequent loud, late parties are all insufferably snotty. So the refrain among the rest of the neighbors is, "We don't hate you because you're gay, we hate you because you're an ASSHOLE!!!"

    One of my primary social circles is "mixed" in many ways, me and a gay-guy couple making for one. Here as at work, I'm the least close with them. Ditto for my singing and community activities ("community" in both senses of the word.)

    Is there some kind of mentality around "Get lost, I want to be the token" in effect here or what? I don't lack for friends, but the number who are gay is proportionately tiny. Even factoring out ageism and "looks-ism" this would still not make much sense.
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    Nov 04, 2013 4:10 PM GMT
    Admittedly I did not read all the posts here but I think a lot has to do with who you're hanging with and what your background is.

    If you don't know anything about football and you're at a party for a collegiate playoff berth then you'll probably encounter a lot of conversation about college football. Likewise if the party is one where the majority of guys watch the Crazy Housewives From Where Ever, then you'll probably find it hard to discuss hiking, 401Ks or remodeling with most of them. I've always found that even in groups where the majority are interested in things I'm not into, there are a few that I can relate to. Sometimes they're straight, sometimes they're gay. I suspect that you and I could have a very interesting conversation about many things that some would consider 'not gay like' but sometimes reaching outside your comfort zone will also expand your own horizons, like great vacation spots or a good moisturizer to keep your gay face looking young. icon_eek.gif
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    Nov 04, 2013 4:35 PM GMT
    eb925guy saidAdmittedly I did not read all the posts here but I think a lot has to do with who you're hanging with and what your background is.

    If you don't know anything about football and you're at a party for a collegiate playoff berth then you'll probably encounter a lot of conversation about college football. Likewise if the party is one where the majority of guys watch the Crazy Housewives From Where Ever, then you'll probably find it hard to discuss hiking, 401Ks or remodeling with most of them. I've always found that even in groups where the majority are interested in things I'm not into, there are a few that I can relate to. Sometimes they're straight, sometimes they're gay. I suspect that you and I could have a very interesting conversation about many things that some would consider 'not gay like' but sometimes reaching outside your comfort zone will also expand your own horizons, like great vacation spots or a good moisturizer to keep your gay face looking young. icon_eek.gif


    I agree with you that much of it is due to whom you are around with. For me, I can talk about American football with anyone. I can also discuss Individual Retirement Accounts, healthcare topics and which cast members from Million Dollar Listing and Vanderpump Rules are full of shit! I just think it's important to be well-rounded. You have a better chance to make friends by finding a "common ground" with them.

  • tazzari

    Posts: 2937

    Nov 04, 2013 5:20 PM GMT
    wat is the difference between a GAY friend and a gay FRIEND? lol it seems to me those are the same words

    I guess I put it badly! What I meant was that I identify my friends as friends first, and gay second. I like them because I like them, not because they happen to be gay. I think there can sometimes be a tendency to look for friends because they are gay, rather than because they might make good friends.

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    Nov 04, 2013 7:28 PM GMT
    Dallas214 saidDoes anyone else out there seem to get along better with straights than gays? I went to a mixed party last night and it just seemed to me that I had more in common with the straights than the gays. The gays were talking about their new face creams or what fabulous vacations they were going on. The straights were talking more about real life topics, like juggling a job and being a single mother, raising an autistic son. Do you guys have more in common with straights or gays?


    The gay community lacks don't care much for learning. It's all about what's in and out. What's hot and who's not. It's like Gossip girls only with guys.
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    Nov 04, 2013 7:34 PM GMT
    If you don't like Gossip girl, you're probably not gonna like the gay people you'll meet.
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    Nov 04, 2013 7:51 PM GMT
    Most of my friends are straight, but then again most people are straight so that makes sense really. I have a couple of more camp gay friends and some gay friends who nobody would realise are gay until they told them. I don't want to be part of the group that rejects camp gay men.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Nov 04, 2013 11:34 PM GMT
    Dallas214 saidDoes anyone else out there seem to get along better with straights than gays? I went to a mixed party last night and it just seemed to me that I had more in common with the straights than the gays. The gays were talking about their new face creams or what fabulous vacations they were going on. The straights were talking more about real life topics, like juggling a job and being a single mother, raising an autistic son. Do you guys have more in common with straights or gays?


    I both gay and straight friends. I guess I would have nothing in common with the straights at your party as I don't juggle a job and don't know anything about being a single parent, nor would I want to hear about an autistic child at a party.

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    Nov 04, 2013 11:59 PM GMT
    Erik101 saidI agree with you that much of it is due to whom you are around with. For me, I can talk about American football with anyone. I can also discuss Individual Retirement Accounts, healthcare topics and which cast members from Million Dollar Listing and Vanderpump Rules are full of shit! I just think it's important to be well-rounded. You have a better chance to make friends by finding a "common ground" with them.

    Wait, what? Million Dollar Listing cast members are FOS? Which ones? No… I just saw Josh Flagg at the Abby! LOL Without his bf I might add! icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Nov 05, 2013 1:22 AM GMT
    eb925guy said
    Erik101 saidI agree with you that much of it is due to whom you are around with. For me, I can talk about American football with anyone. I can also discuss Individual Retirement Accounts, healthcare topics and which cast members from Million Dollar Listing and Vanderpump Rules are full of shit! I just think it's important to be well-rounded. You have a better chance to make friends by finding a "common ground" with them.

    Wait, what? Million Dollar Listing cast members are FOS? Which ones? No… I just saw Josh Flagg at the Abby! LOL Without his bf I might add! icon_rolleyes.gif


    Haha! I need to catch up on the LA episodes. The one in NYC is good! They're so pretentious but Ryan is a hottie! icon_biggrin.gif