Closeted guys should figure out what they want

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    What do they want?

    This guy has been giving me eye stare every time we ran into each other. After a few months of staring I talk to him and we go for a casual lunch and guess what? He has a GF...


    Does he think he can stay with his GF and see guys on the side and keep everyone happy?

    I think he is up for a rude awakening when feelings get involved. This is the kind of guy who only thinks with his crotch and has no idea what mess he is getting into. Hope this is not hitting too close to home.

    Would you ever date someone like this? I know I won't.
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    Nov 03, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    Nope.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 03, 2013 10:39 PM GMT
    Dating anyone who is already involved with someone else is a bad idea, since it has the potential to end poorly, so I'd never do it.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Nov 03, 2013 10:52 PM GMT
    Call it quits
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    Nov 03, 2013 11:22 PM GMT
    Nobody in the world knows what they want.
    (I'm speaking in hyperbole)
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 03, 2013 11:47 PM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidNobody in the world knows what they want.
    (I'm speaking in hyperbole)

    Cake
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    Nov 04, 2013 1:24 AM GMT
    thebearerofbadnews saidhas he hooked up with you though? didn't read anything that indicated that he was gay.


    He didn't say he was gay. But c'mon, eyes don't lie. At first he used to be so nervous around me he would barely speak. I did all the work, invited him for lunch, I even paid on our first lunch date to make sure he understood. Then he said he wanted to meet again. On our second lunch date, he drops the GF bomb.

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    Nov 04, 2013 1:25 AM GMT
    jo2hotbod saidCall it quits

    Yeah, I am planning to ignore him for now on.
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    Nov 04, 2013 1:27 AM GMT
    Jaggal saidWhat a sleaze.

    He either a sleaze or very naive. Maybe he's never been with a guy before. He's 28..,
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    Nov 04, 2013 1:31 AM GMT
    JohnSpotter saidNobody in the world knows what they want.
    (I'm speaking in hyperbole)


    ...until you pay the price. I think a good heartbreak puts things in ordericon_smile.gif.
    In fact I think you have to hurt really bad in order to know what's good/bad for you.
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    Dec 03, 2013 12:25 AM GMT
    This post is pure bullshit. How many "out" guys do you know who know what they want?

    I'm not a fully out gay man and I ONLY look/aspire to LTR. I know many out guys who are only looking to bang one guy and move on to the next, or don't want any type of commitment.

    How are we as gay man supposed to get over labels and stereotypes when other gay men are making claims like that? Next.
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    Dec 03, 2013 12:38 AM GMT
    ViciousRumor said
    hellass saidThis post is pure bullshit. How many "out" guys do you know who know what they want?

    I'm not a fully out gay man and I ONLY look/aspire to LTR. I know many out guys who are only looking to bang one guy and move on to the next, or don't want any type of commitment.

    How are we as gay man supposed to get over labels and stereotypes when other gay men are making claims like that? Next.


    So how can you have an LTR if you're closeted?


    You can. If both are closeted, theoretically you could have a LTR. No one would have to know.
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    Dec 03, 2013 12:40 AM GMT
    ViciousRumor said
    hellass saidThis post is pure bullshit. How many "out" guys do you know who know what they want?

    I'm not a fully out gay man and I ONLY look/aspire to LTR. I know many out guys who are only looking to bang one guy and move on to the next, or don't want any type of commitment.

    How are we as gay man supposed to get over labels and stereotypes when other gay men are making claims like that? Next.


    So how can you have an LTR if you're closeted?


    I've had two LTR that were not fully out. Longer than many "OUT" men have had. Whether you're in or out makes no difference. It's how "committed" and "mature" you are.
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    Dec 03, 2013 12:43 AM GMT
    I agree with Hellass. You don't have to be fully out. Maybe just out to your close friends and family. Even back in the olden times, where homosexuality was rarely out in the open, they still had gay relationships.
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    Dec 03, 2013 1:00 AM GMT
    ViciousRumor said
    1285pytk saidI agree with Hellass. You don't have to be fully out. Maybe just out to your close friends and family. Even back in the olden times, where homosexuality was rarely out in the open, they still had gay relationships.


    But it's retarded. No one ever expects straight couples to do the same. They rarely have to go to such lengths to keep a relationship hidden. It's unfair.


    Suppose you want a LTR. You are out. You go looking for a partner and hopefully both want the same thing. Then if you are in a relationship there is no reason to be out anymore. You are not keeping it a secret. It's just that you don't have to proclaim it to anyone else or shout it out. If they ask you, then you answer. I think you are only out when you are looking. Once you are out, they know and that's that.