Age what does it truly matter?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 3:09 PM GMT
    If two consenting adults of or over the age of 18 are dating why should people scoff at them if there is an age difference. I certainly look for maturity myself now that i am back on the dating scene but if a guy can be 18 yet still be mature and independant than i will go for it and see where i end up. However i have noticed that plenty of men feel uncomfortable in having other people find out the are interested in me simply because i was born on february 24th 1989. Yes that means i am 18 years old and will continue to be that age until 2008. Big deal. I am a consenting voting tax paying bill paying adult who lives on his own unlike one person i know who is 28 and still lives with mom and dad. Does that mean i hold that against him? no i do not. I know his situation and he is my friend so why is it that when men realize that they can't go out drinking with me i am too young and too immature for them? Age does not establish maturity. Experience does and experience i do have... no homo...I am referring to life experience. 13 homes homeless for a week. 3 failed relationships to have learned from and yes some sexual experience as well... completely homo. SO guys...what's up?
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 17, 2007 3:23 PM GMT
    I believe the biggest hurdle any relationship with a large age difference must overcome is the different outlook each party possess'.
    You'd be surprised the odd things which become important as you approach middle age, stuff like 401k's, retirement, etc., and really it's hard to understand their importance until you are have a wide enough palate of experience to view them with the proper amount of respect.
    I'm not saying you can't overcome this difference, however it takes a lot of patience, and most people are just too lazy.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 17, 2007 3:33 PM GMT
    I just thought of another nice way to put it...
    when you are early 20s you are trying to figure out who you are, and want from life.
    As you age, generally you become more aware of these and you begin to work towards those goals.
    It's hard to be with someone who doesn't know what he wants from life, while you are working hard to get what you want from life...
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 17, 2007 3:55 PM GMT
    As I get older, I've begun to notice that my age range of interest is following me. Lately I like guys in their late twenties into their thirties...however there are the odd exceptions...

    I find it odd when I see a guy who's 40 who's only attracted to guys 18 to 39. If you can't find anything attractive about someone who's your own age, why would you expect others to? It just doesnt' make sense to me...nothing against those of you who are only attracted to younger guys...just can't see the logic to it...
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Sep 17, 2007 4:03 PM GMT
    Ever notice straight people and the "newly gay" share this "if you're male, you're a possibility for dating/sexing" mentality? I wonder where that weird opinion begins...
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    Sep 17, 2007 4:13 PM GMT
    From my experience, the age difference can be the catalyst for a number of hurdles to jump over, but what makes more of a difference is what stage of life you're in which can make the age difference more prominent.

    For example, I tried to date this one guy who was barely 21, finishing up his undergrad degree in theater and getting ready for grad school. Unfortunately because he was still in school mode, his nights were preoccupied not only with studying, which I can understand and work around, and partying with his friends. At his age, that's the thing to do, where as at my age, at 33, I'm more focused on other activities which include my job and existing theater career. Suffice it to say, that only lasted two dates.
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    Sep 17, 2007 5:54 PM GMT
    I actually do enjoy partying but i did get sick of that scene quick working at the strip club for 4 months. I am more deterred and prefer to spend time with my friends boyfriend(non-existant temporarily)my family on rare occasions and my cat when I'm not working.
    There is nothing wrong with a quiet walk in the park sometimes. I still however enjoy dancing to fast music. reggaeton included.
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    Sep 17, 2007 5:56 PM GMT
    By the way Aero you are not special in the age-discrimination factor and magically becoming 25 does not make a person sexier or more appealing.
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    Sep 17, 2007 5:59 PM GMT
    18 29 32 35. numbers anyone could lie about there age. I could have posted myself being 23 and nobody would have known my true age. At least I'm being honest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 6:24 PM GMT
    love and commitment is all that should matter in a relationship between two consenting adults.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 6:34 PM GMT
    Anna Nicole liked em kinda ripe.

    anna_nicole_smith.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 6:35 PM GMT
    Alexander, here's a little insight from someone over 40.

    Personally I agree with you that age shouldn't matter....in theory. People are who they are and how old they are doesn't necessarily reflect on their personlities or their level of maturity (if we make maturity refer to a sense of responsibility, what's right and wrong, behaving gracefully under pressure, i.e., character...not just age).

    However, for me, someone you're age is the same age as my nephew which to me would be a bit odd to date someone my nephews age and even guys up to 29 could possibly be young enough to be my son (if some rumours from my teenage years were true!), which can be a hard thing to overlook. Again, people are people and age doesn't reflect who they are or really have a bearing on attractiveness as far as I'm concerened. There are very hot men over 35, 40 and up on this site and others and it's chemistry that generally draws me to someone, not age. Still when it is someone significantly younger, it does bring up concerns that may not be there with someone 35 or 40.

    If you are really, truely into mature men (again talking character not age), I should think you'd be fine as long as you're being honest, whatever the age of guys you meet in that category. I just think you have to realize that there are inevitable questions that come up with such large age differences and don't be offended by them when they do. Follow up your claim of attraction to men of mature character with comparable behaviour of your own. Be independent. Don't ask for money for every little thing. Don't expect to be taken all over the world or on the nicest possible vacations. Don't expect to go to the best parties and meet the most important people. Don't get all sulky and pouty when you don't get what you want.......

    Alexander, I don't know you and you may not possess ANY of the traits I just mentioned but, I'm just saying they do pop up in this situation and they have to be dealt with openly and up front. If you have love to give and choose to give it to someone "mature" with no expectation of things in return, then age really doesn't matter.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 6:42 PM GMT
    May/December Couples Boost Human Lifespan
    "Older men who shack up with much younger women keep the grim reaper at bay for the human population and extend our species' lifespan, new research claims."
    http://www.livescience.com/health/070917_men_age.html
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    Sep 17, 2007 7:19 PM GMT
    Just for the record, SnSS may be over 40, but he has the energy of an 18 year old, and the maturity of someone far older.

    Chronological age is probably the least significant factor for me when sizing someone up. Maturity is a huge one, but harder to gauge at first.

    For me, good speech, clean habits and a sense of how to behave in various situations is a good indicator of how we'll get along.

    There can be huge cultural differences - each generation has its own personalities, music, art, style.... but that just makes life more interesting. I don't think they're an automatic disqualifier by any means.

    Joey
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    Sep 17, 2007 9:05 PM GMT
    hey aero how will you know if they are 18 unless they tell you. I've met plenty that look a lot younger or older than they actually are. BTW your not too smart letting your cock do the thinking. so an 18 year old could be in your bed lie and say he is 26. just so you know. have a habit of checking ID?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 17, 2007 9:13 PM GMT
    aero,

    I think this man is mature for an 18 year old. More mature than you "BTW your not too smart letting your cock do the thinking"

    :-)

    Mike
  • maximumrisk

    Posts: 799

    Sep 17, 2007 9:35 PM GMT
    I asked myself this Question over and over. The age doesnt really matter, but the maturity yes. And age is a good way to guess how mature someone can be. I think its all relative. Gay Relationships are enough complicated as they are. Its so that for us younger ones, it mostly doesnt matter if the guy we are Dating could be our Dad or Uncle. But the more aged guys in their 30`s and 40`s get uncomfortable with that. Is it just that it makes them realize that they are old, or what? Thats ridiculous.
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    Sep 17, 2007 9:40 PM GMT

    This is just something that's an individual preference. There is no right answer or wrong answer. I can't sit here and say what people should do because I only know what I would do. Relationships can be challenging enough without throwing in a sizeable age difference, but it's up to the people involved to solve that and decide if they are ok with it.

    Most importantly, so what if other people scoff at it. SHouldn't matter what anyone thinks.
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    Sep 17, 2007 9:54 PM GMT
    Aero is a nice looking guy. If that's immature...sign me up.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 17, 2007 10:02 PM GMT
    You can say - age is just a number and it really doesn't matter if the younger guy is more mature
    .... but that means that the older guy needs to be "Immature"
    There is a difference btw guys in their 20's and guys in their 30's and guys in their 40's
    it doesn't even have to be about looks...and it generally isn't
    I've dated younger guys and there's a difference in life experience and the way you see everyday issues

    I know there are those very few perfect people but generally have differing perspectives based on when they were born
    I don't wanna have to explain that Duran duran isn't just a band where a bunch of old guys got together
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 17, 2007 10:03 PM GMT
    Aero,

    You look like an 18 year old. I think yourself and Alexander should go out on a date.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Sep 17, 2007 10:06 PM GMT
    People should date whoever they want. Personally I dont find anyone below 30 attractive but I do meet (and sometime hook up) with some of them.
    I have a best friend who is in his 40's(now deceased) that live with a younger guy who is 19. He told me he boyfriend is inmature , you know talking about singer,gossiping about other gay guys and into teenager cloth. He kinda have to be inmature himself so at least they can have conversation together.

    By the way, it really disgust me to see some dirty old man in their 50's and 60's dancing and making out with some gay teenager . In the gay club you always see that. Especially some foreign tourist or expatriate and some sleazy money chasing local boys.There are a real eyesyore , he is old enough to be his grandfather. But then I guess it none of my business.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Sep 17, 2007 10:07 PM GMT
    My partner is 9 years older than me and we like almost all the same things. We love the simple things in life. For us age is just a number.

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 10:10 PM GMT
    Its all about chemistry for me. When I make a move on a young guy and he gets major wood and i'm boned whats to discuss.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 17, 2007 10:12 PM GMT
    *rolls eyes towards the heavens; breathing deeply of Patience and Grace*