The Affordable Boat Act

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 2:15 PM GMT
    I came across this in the "comments" section of a news story and thought it was a pretty good satire:


    The Affordable Boat Act

    The U.S. government has just passed a new law entitled "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat by April, 2014.

    These 'affordable' boats will cost an average of $54,000 - $155,000 each. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance, or repair costs.

    This law has been passed because, until now, typically only wealthy and financially responsible people have been able to purchase boats.

    This new law ensures that every American can now have an 'affordable' boat of their own, because everyone is 'entitled' to a new boat.

    If you purchase your boat before the end of the year, you will receive four 'free' life jackets (does not include monthly usage fees).

    In order to make sure everyone purchases an 'affordable boat,' the cost of owning a boat will increase on average of 250-400% per year.

    This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But, to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boat(s) to party on until they turn 27, after which date they must purchase their own boat.

    If you already have a boat, you can keep yours (just kidding; no you can't).

    If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow.

    If you refuse to buy one or can't afford one, you will be regularly fined $800 until you purchase one, or face imprisonment.

    If you cannot (or don't want to) purchase an 'affordable boat' from a private business, you can buy a starter boat from the U. S. government 'affordable boat exchange.'

    Such a boat will have the basic necessities (hull, oars or paddles) and will only cost 'slightly more' than a similar boat purchased from a private business.

    Plus, since your tax dollars will subsidize the purchase of a boat from the U. S. government's 'affordable boat exchange,' it will appear that you are getting a good deal.

    Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities, or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt.

    Pre-existing conditions such as age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are not acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

    A government review board (that doesn't know the difference between the port side, starboard side, or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including when, where, how often, and for what purposes you can use your boat, along with how many people can ride your boat.

    The board will also determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat, and will also decide if your boat has out lived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories(like a $500 compass) or a newer and more expensive boat.

    Those that can afford yachts will be required to do so ... it's only fair.

    The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

    Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free at the expense of tax payers.

    This includes lifetime maintenance and automatic adjustments for fuel charges.

    Unions, bankers, and mega companies with large political affiliations ($$$) and Amish are also exempt.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 7:12 PM GMT
    Shatire more like.

    Boat: Trivial luxury item (unless you live on a island or catch fish for a living).

    Health care: Basic necessity and human right (especially in world's richest country).

    Only an idiot would try to conflate the two, even in jest.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 8:16 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 saidShatire more like.

    Boat: Trivial luxury item (unless you live on a island or catch fish for a living).

    Health care: Basic necessity and human right (especially in world's richest country).

    Only an idiot would try to conflate the two, even in jest.

    I think you just identified the familiar person behind that sock account.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 07, 2013 8:43 PM GMT
    You must be unthinking to compare a boat to medicine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 8:55 PM GMT
    HottJoe saidYou must be unthinking to compare a boat to medicine.


    And your comment is meant to do what? Say that I'm stupid? Say that I'm mean? It makes ya feel good to write such a thing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:02 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 saidShatire more like.

    Boat: Trivial luxury item (unless you live on a island or catch fish for a living).

    Health care: Basic necessity and human right (especially in world's richest country).

    Only an idiot would try to conflate the two, even in jest.



    When did health care become a "right"?

    It's called "Tongue in cheek".
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:20 PM GMT
    Blakes7 said

    When did health care become a "right"?


    10 December 1948
    Article 25 Universal Declaration of Human Rights
    The US co-authored it and ratified it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:33 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 said
    Blakes7 said

    When did health care become a "right"?


    10 December 1948
    Article 25 Universal Declaration of Human Rights
    The US co-authored it and ratified it.



    If everyone is supposed to get government-sponsored health care, as you are interpreting the Article below to mean, then we should all be getting government-sponsored food and clothing as well. There is no mention of "who" gets these, so we should all be getting these things from the government.

    Do all you Brits get the government to pay for all your food and clothing?


    Article 25.

    (1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:36 PM GMT
    PrickleyHeat said
    HottJoe saidYou must be unthinking to compare a boat to medicine.


    And your comment is meant to do what? Say that I'm stupid? Say that I'm mean? It makes ya feel good to write such a thing?


    Well it certainly wasn't an intelligent analogy icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:38 PM GMT
    Then why have I been working for the last 30 years to provide these things for myself when I could simply demand it of the taxpayer?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:40 PM GMT
    AnOriginal said
    PrickleyHeat said
    HottJoe saidYou must be unthinking to compare a boat to medicine.


    And your comment is meant to do what? Say that I'm stupid? Say that I'm mean? It makes ya feel good to write such a thing?


    Well it certainly wasn't a smart analogy icon_rolleyes.gif


    In many ways it is. I see what the person who created the topic is driving at. Its the government telling you that you have to purchase something or else they will punish you. The other parts of the piece are just really a rehash of all the things that have been wrong with the selling of the ACA to the American people (all the lies) and the botched roll out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
    MisterWhatsIt said

    If everyone is supposed to get government-sponsored health care, as you are interpreting the Article below to mean, then we should all be getting government-sponsored food and clothing as well. There is no mention of "who" gets these, so we should all be getting these things from the government.

    Do all you Brits get the government to pay for all your food and clothing?


    Article 25.

    (1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.



    You co-authored it. You tell me. Nothing in there about boats though.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 11:02 PM GMT
    Blakes7 saidThen why have I been working for the last 30 years to provide these things for myself when I could simply demand it of the taxpayer?


    I'm sure the blacks and females that fought for equal rights asked the same question. Why do my grandkids get to experience a life where they don't have to experience the same obstacles (selfish much).

    Instead of an analogy he could have provided a pro and con list. I'm interested in the negatives as well. A boat isn't going to make a difference in anybody's life.

    My friend texted me:

    "Pope Benedict said it was caused by extreme greed and called it a grievous sin of modern day society [referring to the widening gap in the U.S.A.]." [sic]

    I understand both sides; at the same time if things don't change, things such as health care aren't going to be accessible or affordable.

    From the New York Times:

    "...Events like losing a job, having work hours cut back, experiencing a family split or developing a serious medical problem all have the potential to throw households into poverty."

    "The typical pattern is for an individual to experience poverty for a year or two, get above the poverty line for an extended period of time, and then perhaps encounter another spell at some later point..."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 07, 2013 11:16 PM GMT
    Ex_Mil8 said
    MisterWhatsIt said

    If everyone is supposed to get government-sponsored health care, as you are interpreting the Article below to mean, then we should all be getting government-sponsored food and clothing as well. There is no mention of "who" gets these, so we should all be getting these things from the government.

    Do all you Brits get the government to pay for all your food and clothing?


    Article 25.

    (1) Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food, clothing, housing and medical care and necessary social services, and the right to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood in circumstances beyond his control.



    You co-authored it. You tell me. Nothing in there about boats though.


    That's right. There is nothing in there about boats. Glad you could see that.

    There's also nothing in there that says the government has to pay for your healthcare, your food, clothing and housing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 08, 2013 12:15 AM GMT
    The boat just might come in handy...

    (skip to 2:32 - 3:03)



    Oh crap, it posts with an ad. Fuck that.

    The joke was Carolina setting up so many obstacles to voting that now they've placed the ballot boxes out on buoys, accessible only by yacht. Okay, well, sorry the ad fucked up the joke.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 08, 2013 6:22 AM GMT

    jiFfM.jpg