Boy with big bum - things that happened to me as a result!!

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    Dec 03, 2008 8:54 AM GMT
    BOLD TEXT GOES HEREI admit that I was lazy at school when it came to P.E., and I would forget to bring my kit on purpose, so I would be sitting most of the time and watching.

    One particular day I remember, I was 15, and was involved in these exercises where we were all just following each other around the room.

    My parents bought me green trousers and long green shirt for P.E., which the teacher didn't mind - I was wearing these on a day when we were just following each other around the gym for general exercise.

    To my horror, the trousers fitted tightly and the top covered very tightly over my bum, so I felt big and frumpy, and the next minute or so, my friend behind me gave my bum a slap and said: "Hey big bum, you're getting fat, you're putting on weight!"

    On subsequent lessons with wearing the same kit, I found myself in this situation where I was on 'all-fours', and my friend was spanking my bum non-stop in front of others and saying out loud: "I'm smacking your bum!" This was quite humiliating, although I was enjoying it, and I started to feel all wet in my pants.

    Ever since then, because I've done very little in terms of physical exercise, I am big, not horrendously fat, but chunky and podgy.

    Even in my black school trousers, they managed to accentuate my bum a lot - as a result, my bum was often slapped, grabbed, poked, prodded and even the girls would call me names like big bum, fat bum, wobble bottom, large bum, massive bum, fatty bum, fatty bum bum, enormous bum, you name it, I've been called them all.

    I was even jumped on by a little 2 year old boy of my family friends, who started tugging at the back of my trousers, and the intense pulling was causing friction in a very awkward place.

    When I was at my cousin's birthday party back in the summer, I was wearing these beige shorts, and I am only too aware how ugly I look in shorts - the lower part of my legs are skinny, the upper half, chunky, and my bum is wide and wobbly.

    There I was, with a bright red, embarrassed face, as my cousin's little girl, aged just 5, was shoving my bum around the garden and calling me big fat bum bum and laughing.

    I still have a big wobbly bum, which sticks out - I would have thought that this would be seen as sexy.

    I am bi-sexual, but if I see any attractive looking men, I don't know whether or not this is usual for a bloke, but I make sure I am wearing these tight-fitting "big bum sticking out" shorts and vertically striped top, so I am showing off my love handles.

    I enjoy showing out as I walk past them, but one particular occasion, I was doing this, and they said: "He's got a big arse!" out loud.

    How do you guys feel when you see a big podgy bloke wearing awkward-fitting shorts with his bum sticking out, and has lovehandles, and skinny, and chunky legs at the same time?

    Would you say this is UGLY or SEXY?
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    Dec 03, 2008 9:13 AM GMT
    I think you have a promising career in alternative porn.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 03, 2008 10:53 AM GMT
    Cheers for that - you could be right hehe! Would this 'alternative porn' have a name? icon_biggrin.gif
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    Dec 03, 2008 6:29 PM GMT
    How about "I'm Smacking Your Bum" because that passage made me laugh.
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    Dec 03, 2008 6:34 PM GMT
    Mostly I think that the large quantities of men, women, and children who have commented on your ass should be a clue.
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    Dec 03, 2008 6:51 PM GMT
    A clue to what? The location of Osama Bin Laden? Are you like a detective or Indiana Jones?

    Maybe I am lost but the guy knows he has a big butt. His butt is his thing.

    He is trying to turn his big wobbly butt into an industry. This is capitalism man. This is the wild-and-wooly brainstorming that started Apple and Doc Johnson.

    Be positive. We need a name for big jiggly ass porno. That is where it's at.

    Come on y'all lets get into this thing and come up with a name for the Zak Spears of perky bouncy bottom porn.
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    Dec 03, 2008 6:56 PM GMT
    For inspiration, I'll need to see the subject in question. After all, the world is full of big butts. I need to know what makes this big butt special. Hopefully, it's not just a big doodie maker.
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:03 PM GMT
    Dude you need to cultivate this bum thing you got going on here. Play to your strenghs. Do you think it's patent-able? Maybe you can trademark it and start generating some cash.

    I'm not saying charge admission, but hey......
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:03 PM GMT
    Alternative porn?

    How do you feel about little people (dwarves). I would pay the 1.95 to view some dwarves dressed up for the circus bouncing up and down on this butt of your's though I'm sure the mental image I have is off base with the reality.

    If you love it flaunt it, if you don't then work it out.
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:07 PM GMT
    Come on McGay do a dwarves and bouncy bottom photoshop collage to get this ball rollin. That is a damn good suggestion.
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:07 PM GMT
    You may want to become a tablecloth model.
    1759527.jpeg
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:16 PM GMT
    baby-got-back.jpg
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:19 PM GMT
    is it big enough to stencil the word "Goodyear" on? Kids love it.

    CA-Goodyear_Blimp.jpg
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:21 PM GMT
    Can we put an amusement park sign over it and call it the Natural Bounce House (Warning: Watch out for the hole!) icon_twisted.gif
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:28 PM GMT
    7butts.jpg
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    Dec 03, 2008 7:33 PM GMT
    I'm all lost in ur lingo...
    bum, kit, bloke

    buy me brew, mate... forget the baudy bum icon_wink.gif

    But I do have to say, in reading this, all I got was a visual of Big Bird in an over-sized Green T-Shirt sticking his bum out and getting it smacked...

    and so this seemed be-fitting to all your P.E. mates:

    Photobucket
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    Dec 03, 2008 10:45 PM GMT
    this is one of the strangest threads ever...
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    Dec 04, 2008 12:49 AM GMT
    He looks really sweet!

    McGay said7butts.jpg
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    Dec 04, 2008 1:25 AM GMT
    I heard that Chucky's back.

    (Runs)
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    Dec 04, 2008 1:54 AM GMT
    ObsceneWish saidI heard that Chucky's back.

    (Runs)


    Thats what happens when you EAT EAT EAT! AND EAT SOME MORE!
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    Dec 04, 2008 1:59 AM GMT
    LOL!!
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    Dec 04, 2008 2:22 AM GMT
    Ikaros said
    ObsceneWish saidI heard that Chucky's back.

    (Runs)


    Thats what happens when you EAT EAT EAT! AND EAT SOME MORE!


    I thought thats what happened when you eat beans. Baked beans are good for your heart, baked beans make you fart, the more you fart, the better you feel. So baked beans are good for your heart.
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    Dec 04, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    ursamajor saidHe looks really sweet!

    McGay said7butts.jpg


    looks like a Ho, standing on a corner.