For All the Guys Alone Out There

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    Nov 11, 2013 3:25 AM GMT
    So my BF of 1.5 years and I broke up a few days ago but he still wants to be friends (which is good I guess). While this sucks for me since he was not feeling romantically connected to me for the past few months I had a bit of a revelation yesterday: my future guy who is right for me is out there right now; looking for me lamenting where I am and why he can't find anyone like me.

    My roommate also made me realize this when I started crying Friday night (since this is the first weekend we're not spending together) and said something really heartfelt and worth sharing: "I know it hurts but I honestly don't think he's crying over you based on what you told me. Why are you letting him cripple you from going forward, healing yourself when you should be around others. You need to get out there and meet people. Not be alone in this apartment.... Listen; it's a weekend in NYC, you're now single again and you have so many options in front of you. You want a group of gay friends? (I've been complaining about my lack of gay friends to her for a while) Find them!

    There are so many lonely young people in this city it's almost insane. Go out and find the guy who really is what you want cause he's out there right now looking for you! Not going to find anyone else in here but me. Take this as an opportunity- everything happens for a reason whether or not we understand it."

    And she's right, everything does happen for a reason. The holiday season is starting up; this is one of the times of year people become nicer (or are supposed to be anyway) and are more open to things. The timing of finding a good supportive group of friends and a potential new BF are interesting...

    So that's what I did, I went out and enjoyed the city with myself. i walked all over town taking in the stunning fall beauty and doing things I normally enjoy doing. I felt a lot better doing this and did have a feeling of new opportunities, accepting new people into my life, etc. And while it was a bit bittersweet to take a lonely subway ride home back home surrounded by couples in love and groups of friends out on the town at night I still thought things way of happening when we least except it and when we not desperately seeking someone. Being open to new people coming into my life is what I'm focusing on now and putting effort in. No one's going to find you if you're shutting yourself in at home watching sad movies.

    Hope that helps
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    Nov 11, 2013 3:48 AM GMT
    Good for you, man. Thanks for posting this. I hope you're able to find some new, awesome, experiences and meet some amazing people.

    I get it: losing someone you care about hurts, but it also opens up brand new possibilities in your life. In that way I'm really happy for you! :-)
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    Nov 11, 2013 3:55 AM GMT
    You posted great advice for any guy who is single, and that is to get out and do things. We don't meet a soul sitting home watching films, as you said. Another thing I learned when I was single for 3 months at age 26, was to go out & enjoy my own company. I made myself a happier person, more grateful - and then I was able to project a good, upbeat, positive image. People were drawn to that. I wasn't single for long. You won't be either. And for however long you are single, enjoy it!
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    Nov 11, 2013 4:01 AM GMT
    Sorry about the break and welcome to the singles club. I have never been in a long term relationship with anyone but these days I keep myself busy with work and designing a custom weekender bag. Boy my creative thoughts are rusty but I gotta tell ya that I want the color to be tan with hints of electric blue.
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    Nov 11, 2013 4:10 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 said Another thing I learned when I was single for 3 months at age 26, was to go out & enjoy my own company.


    Yes x10.

    A few years ago when when I first moved to the city and before I met anyone I would take myself out. Go for a walk in the park, hit the museum, go to dinner; even doing special things for myself. Just doing things that make you happy. It's like going out on a date... only with yourself. It was kind of nice to do all that again.

    Better to be out on the weekends enjoying NYC and being around others than being alone in an apartment icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 11, 2013 5:13 AM GMT
    Sorry about your breakup but good for you for keeping a positive attitude and getting out there in the world. Best of luck.