What term/status would you apply to this man?

  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 11, 2013 2:37 PM GMT
    He and I text daily, comment on each other Facebook's status, have keys to each other's home, cook and put food in each other's fridge, have fantastic sex with each other (but nobody else), "get" each other's quirky sense of humor...but have NO desire to live together or have a 24/7 relationship.
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    Nov 11, 2013 2:42 PM GMT
    a local long-distance relationship.

    My family continually reminds me of something I said when I was a very picky eater as a little kid. I think it was about Swiss cheese. "It's my favorite cheese but I don't like it."

    He's your Swiss cheese.
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    Nov 11, 2013 2:45 PM GMT
    fbfwb - facebook friends with benefits. icon_wink.gif
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    Nov 11, 2013 3:28 PM GMT
    The fact you care for each other + are exclusive makes you a couple. And since you dont live together but hang out all the time, the term would be 'boyfriends'.
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    Nov 11, 2013 3:42 PM GMT
    rnch saidbut have NO desire to live together or have a 24/7 relationship.

    Why?
    I think/maybe you can answer yourself if you ask yourself 'Why?'
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 11, 2013 3:46 PM GMT
    Harry7785 said
    rnch saidbut have NO desire to live together or have a 24/7 relationship.

    Why?
    I think/maybe you can answer yourself if you ask yourself 'Why?'


    Both of us "need our space", don't want or need someone around us all the time, enjoy our privacy...and take no offense in the other enjoying his.
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    Nov 11, 2013 3:55 PM GMT
    rnch said
    Harry7785 said
    rnch saidbut have NO desire to live together or have a 24/7 relationship.

    Why?
    I think/maybe you can answer yourself if you ask yourself 'Why?'


    Both of us "need our space", don't want or need someone around us all the time, enjoy our privacy...and take no offense in the other enjoying his.



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    Nov 11, 2013 4:18 PM GMT
    How long have you been dating (or whatever this is)? Living together is one of the best parts in a relationship!
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    Nov 11, 2013 4:29 PM GMT
    David3000 saidHow long have you been dating (or whatever this is)? Living together is one of the best parts in a relationship!


    Partner and I give each other plenty of space as we both travel for work.
    When we're home we also don't crowd each other.
    Maybe it's why we love living together.
  • MikeW

    Posts: 6061

    Nov 11, 2013 4:43 PM GMT
    rnch saidHe and I text daily, comment on each other Facebook's status, have keys to each other's home, cook and put food in each other's fridge, have fantastic sex with each other (but nobody else), "get" each other's quirky sense of humor...but have NO desire to live together or have a 24/7 relationship.

    My first male LTR was like this. We were both artists (quite different media and styles but artists none the less) and needed a lot of space. When we met he was living in a different loft building a few miles away. Within the first year he moved into his own loft in my building. When the loft right next to mine came available, he moved into that. The way it worked is he had his own space and I had mine. We slept in the same bed and made meals together in either place. We considered ourselves a couple as we were in a monogamous relationship. It lasted for seven years until he died of a brain tumor.
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    Nov 11, 2013 4:44 PM GMT
    Sounds like you guys are on the same page and have a fantastic relationship.
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    Nov 11, 2013 4:58 PM GMT
    Perpetual Boyfriends.
    My sisters have both been engaged for years and have no plans on getting married, as they both desecrated their vows on the first two; so I can't say we all fallow some predetermine hetero normative progression.
    It is what you make it and are happy with.
    I would only hope that you have discussed/considered power of attorneys, especially, because of the high risk field he works in.
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    Nov 11, 2013 5:03 PM GMT
    Most people buy into the idea that you MUST live together to be a couple, but in reality has zero to do with the commitment level. That being said, a reluctance to cohabitate can also be a red flag to unresolved intimacy issues.
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    Nov 11, 2013 5:19 PM GMT
    You guys are soul mates.
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    Nov 11, 2013 5:33 PM GMT
    One of you is a wife...just not sure which one! LOL jk. If the arrangement works for you then call it whatever you want. There are plenty that live together and don't get along so you're way ahead of them. Maybe they should try your approach! icon_smile.gif
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 11, 2013 6:45 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]David3000 saidHow long have you been dating (or whatever this is)? [/quote]

    About 5 1/2 years, with a couple of short separation periods when we pizzed off the other royally.
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    Nov 11, 2013 7:09 PM GMT
    MCB_ saidSounds like you guys are on the same page and have a fantastic relationship.

    Exactly. Sounds ideal to me.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 11, 2013 7:56 PM GMT
    Lumpyoatmeal said
    MCB_ saidSounds like you guys are on the same page and have a fantastic relationship.

    Exactly. Sounds ideal to me.



    IDK, we get pizzed at each other, split up for a week or so. He has the "artist temperament" & my fearsome Rusian-German temper is NOT a pretty sight to behold...then one of us texts or emails the other and it starts up all over again, like nothing ever happened.



    Reminds me of Liz Taylor & Richard Burton's relationship.





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    Nov 11, 2013 8:00 PM GMT
    woodsmen saidIn Seattle, in high-end condos, they are building two master bedrooms for his and his or his and her bedrooms so couple could be together or apart. Time has changed. I ask my partner about it. But he is so Victorian about it insisting that we must sleep in the same bed so I could hear his snore!
    you should sleep together I think its the best time of the day icon_smile.gif when you cuddle up and he lays on your body and finds the place you just fit together perfectly
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    Nov 11, 2013 8:51 PM GMT
    I think you should be titled as a heartbreaker because now I know we have no chance of getting together! icon_cry.gif
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    Nov 11, 2013 11:58 PM GMT
    I'd call him "heaven on earth."
    Good for you, man, I'm happy for you.
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3515

    Nov 12, 2013 3:58 AM GMT
    for me that would be "former ex (but not most recent one), I am making do with until i meet someone new"

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    Nov 12, 2013 4:23 AM GMT
    sounds like it works for you both, Thats all that matters. Doesn't need a term or status.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 12, 2013 8:41 PM GMT
    hairyandym saidsounds like it works for you both, Thats all that matters. Doesn't need a term or status.




    Perhaps so.

    As much as I loathe the phrase "It is what it is"; it appears to be an apt one for him and I.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Nov 12, 2013 8:46 PM GMT
    My question is, if you'd meet another guy, a guy you were interested in, would you go out with him - or do you consider yourself "taken" already?