Is he trying to ask me out?

  • Matrix915

    Posts: 2

    Nov 13, 2013 8:01 PM GMT
    Met this very cute guy at a hobby group a few months ago. We both enjoy that hobby a lot so we've been doing it together almost every week. I kinda felt like he was into me because whenever we go to that group there are always multiple things going on but he always chooses to stick with me, so I was kinda flirting with him at times as well but it was all very subtle. Awhile ago I asked him if he wanted to do the hobby thing for the weekend, and he said "sure, or we could do something else." I ended up suggesting going to a movie and he went on board... But, I got nervous the last minute and dragged along a friend of mine because just two of us felt like a date and I wasn't even sure if he was into guys at all and he is a good hobby buddy I don't wanna potentially offend him if he is just a straight guy who wants to hang out.

    Anyways the movie was good and the three of us went out to eat afterwards and him and I had a good conversation. Earlier this week I felt like I should do something outdoorsy before the winter strikes and I remembered him telling me that he is in a hiking group so I asked him if his hiking group has anything for the coming weekend. He replied he didn't have anything going on but if I wanna do something he could look into that and we could do something. At the end of the message, he specifically added, "I'd be up for it even if nobody else is interested." Seems like it was him telling me don't invite anybody else or I could be reading too much into it.

    So the next day he asked me if I wanted to do sunset hiking, and judging by the message it will be only the two of us ("I can meet you at ABC and we leave at XYZ time"). I asked him what time we would be back, he said before dinner time but he'd be up for grabbing something to eat and playing video games or something if I want.

    So, is he trying to ask me out? To me sunset hiking with someone you just met a few months ago sounds a bit like a date. Or he could just be a straight guy who wants to hang out with a new buddy and I'm reading too much into it? I really suck at picking up signals...

    Btw we are both pretty straight acting so I don't think neither of us can tell the other one is into guys just based on our appearance. He comes from a very religious family but when i casually asked him if he was religious when we were eating out he said he is a terrible Christian.
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    Nov 13, 2013 9:43 PM GMT
    Just move on; it reads as if your both bottoms so it would never work out anyhow; instead, work on excepting yourself for who you are, so this won't be a problem the next time.
  • Matrix915

    Posts: 2

    Nov 14, 2013 12:10 PM GMT
    I actually don't bottom at all... It's just so far everyone I've been with are out (either met online or through a mutual friend who that person was out to). I've never been in a situation where I had to play the guessing game so I don't really know how to proceed in a situation like this without potentially ruining the friendship in case that person isn't gay. I certainly don't feel like telling him I'm gay out of the blue cause I'd feel super awkward about it icon_sad.gif
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    Nov 14, 2013 1:16 PM GMT
    Matrix915 saidSo, is he trying to ask me out? To me sunset hiking with someone you just met a few months ago sounds a bit like a date. Or he could just be a straight guy who wants to hang out with a new buddy and I'm reading too much into it?

    Just go on the hike and enjoy it for what it is. Don't over-analyze every detail unless you want to stamp out any spontaneity.
    But if there is any interest a sunset hike alone is the ideal test-case for the signs to manifest themselves.
  • Hothouse

    Posts: 2204

    Nov 14, 2013 8:07 PM GMT
    He's interested enough that he wants to spend time just with you.
    Get to know him, eventually something's going to come up in conversation that will let you know if he's gay or straight.
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    Nov 14, 2013 9:14 PM GMT
    Hothouse saidHe's interested enough that he wants to spend time just with you.
    Get to know him, eventually something's going to come up in conversation that will let you know if he's gay or straight.

    +1

    Definitely go on the hike, and don't invite anyone else. Pray for a romantic sunset.

    Future possibilities: Next time you go to a movie, don't invite someone else. One of you has a DVD player? Try watching a flick at home - just the two of you. Arrange in advance to have rented a good gay film (netflix?) and tell him you have been wanting to watch it.

    Maybe he's a big closet case. If he were straight, it's hard to imagine that in the various times you've been together that he didn't bring up the subject of girls.
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    Nov 15, 2013 3:51 PM GMT
    Next time you two go to a movie, hope for THIS kind of closet-busting experience (but without the women):

  • Suetonius

    Posts: 1842

    Nov 15, 2013 5:05 PM GMT
    It's now Friday - Do let us know how your sunset hike and afterglow went
    8835568465_ce18bf19c7.jpg
    (Photo credit to CFL)
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 15, 2013 5:11 PM GMT
    This is why I don't act straight. I'm not really attracted to straight acting guys either, so it's a win-win.icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 15, 2013 5:34 PM GMT
    Hothouse saidHe's interested enough that he wants to spend time just with you.
    Get to know him, eventually something's going to come up in conversation that will let you know if he's gay or straight.

    I agree with this. Just enjoy him, does it matter if he's str8 or gay in order to have a friendship. If you're at a point where you feel it's necessary to share your sexuality, then tell him that you're gay. If he's OK with it but str8, he'll tell you that, if he's not OK with it and he's str8, you won't hear from him and you're better off for it. If he's gay….romance icon_smile.gif You don't want to have to hide who you are especially with someone you enjoy being with and doing things with. My guess is that this guy is either gay or really like you as a person and won't care if you're gay. He likes you, like hanging with you and will probably be a good friend to have around. Enjoy it!
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    Nov 15, 2013 6:06 PM GMT
    HikerSkier saidNext time you two go to a movie, hope for THIS kind of closet-busting experience (but without the women):


    What's in that popcorn, and where do you buy it?