D.I.N.K. (Dual Income No Kids) vs D.I.W.K (Dual Income With Kids)

  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Nov 13, 2013 11:57 PM GMT
    As gay men it is a conscious decision to have a child. Therefore, I see two roads:

    1) DINK- Dual Income No Kids.
    Two successful men building a home, but using their time together to travel, experience life, build 401Ks, live for one another, focus on their careers. Married and happy.

    2)Married with Kids.
    Two successful men building a home, raising a child (or two), experiencing life through children while also having "date nights" for themselves, building 401Ks, being active parents involved in child's life (being a coach or trainer). Married and happy.

    I know those are very generic summaries of both, but I want to hear from you guys.
    If you have chosen one over the other, what were your reasons?
    If you haven't yet, what pushes you towards one side or the other?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2013 12:01 AM GMT
    You missed growing old alone because of being too picky icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    #ForeverAlone

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  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Nov 14, 2013 3:50 AM GMT
    The first one isn't an option for me—I want kids. I think it's fascinating to raise a child and watch them become an adult. So it's either the second one, or a third option, which is being single with kids.
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    Nov 14, 2013 2:17 PM GMT
    The first one, kids can be a handful and don't come with a return receipt...
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    Nov 14, 2013 2:38 PM GMT
    uggg,kids are pain in the ass that you stuck with it for 18 years.
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    Nov 14, 2013 2:41 PM GMT
    Cooper87 saiduggg,kids are pain in the ass that you stuck with it for 18 years.

    This does not make sense on any level.
    When LingLang and I decided to have children it was because we knew we could raise a family in a healthy environment and leave a legacy of smart and decent adults raised in love, with a respect for all.
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    Nov 14, 2013 10:26 PM GMT
    I've chosen #1. I know what it's like to raise kids. I took care of my sister's 3 kids when they were young and I'm not interested in being a parent. Your life changes when you have children. I respect those who have children and have gained so much joy from them but for me, it's not even an option.

    Partner and I are going to adopt one day but the kids are only going to speak two words..."bow-wow" and "meow"!
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    Nov 15, 2013 8:25 AM GMT
    Jaggal said
    Cooper87 saiduggg,kids are pain in the ass that you stuck with it for 18 years.


    WOW. If you see your own daughter or son in that light, DO NOT HAVE KIDS. DO NOT BREED. DO NOT ADOPT. NOTHING.


    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSvmU24ZZynZ2JZe-c5hgi

    have fun doing it.

  • Ridiculance

    Posts: 40

    Dec 20, 2013 8:30 PM GMT
    bump*
  • Amelorn

    Posts: 231

    Dec 21, 2013 2:26 AM GMT
    I've pondered this.

    Money is good (fantastic, actually...in a bourgeois sort of way), but fatherhood might suit me in the future. If I did, I'd adopt an older (7+) kid. I don't think I'd do infancy/toddlerhood too well. I have zero patience with infants, and I bond with people intellectually. An 8 year old who loves mythology, dinosaurs, trains, cars etc, I can work with.

    I have things and places that I love and wish to share. I want to read my favourite books to him, show him my favourite artwork, take him to a play, etc on the small scale. I've spent my youth exploring the world. I want to take him to Scotland, where I came to manhood. Then I'd love to show him Australia, introduce him to my friends and their kids in London, see the old home in NY, sip drinks from a coconut in Bali or Cambodia. Etc