Family Stiffs Restaurant Server On $100 Bill Because They ‘Did Not Agree With Her Lifestyle’

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 14, 2013 6:17 PM GMT
    http://www.thegailygrind.com/2013/11/13/family-stiffs-restaurant-server-on-100-bill-because-they-did-not-agree-with-her-lifestyle/

    I think the coolest part is that total strangers have tipped her through PayPal.
  • HottJoe

    Posts: 21366

    Nov 14, 2013 6:28 PM GMT
    I had that happen to me sometimes when I used to wait tables. They didn't usually leave a note, but it was a fact that the straight male servers got better tips than women or gay men, regardless of quality of service... at least in certain areas/neighborhoods.
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    Nov 14, 2013 6:48 PM GMT
    I've had people straight up ask me if I was gay then not tip me..
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    Nov 14, 2013 6:56 PM GMT
    How many of us were waiters part time during our undergrad years? I know I was, and I worked my ass off (while wearing a black tux & trying not to spill anything on it every night). I've read that those of us who were once waiters are among the best tippers you'll find anywhere. Wonder if that's true? I know I always tip and compliment a good waiter/waitress very generously. I remember how hard that job was......especially when a server strives to do a great job.
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    Nov 14, 2013 7:48 PM GMT
    This is the same story from metta8's thread, right?

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/3506569

    EDIT: Hah! Wrong!

    Is this the latest Manhattan Declaration tactic or something?
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    Nov 15, 2013 4:14 PM GMT
    I think the names of the people who do this should be included in the articles so that people know who their asshole neighbors are. Being a server doesn't make one less of a person or employee so they shouldn't have to put up with insults of any type, regardless of the reason behind it. If you're going to run up $93 in service and not tip because of your judgement of a person, your name should be known so that you can be judged.
  • An0n12

    Posts: 1041

    Nov 15, 2013 4:24 PM GMT
    Just like what happened to that gay server at Carraba's I'm curious how the fuck the family found out her sexual preference in the first place. I hope the kids grow up to be better people than their parents even with the bigoted influence these cunts are providing.
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Nov 16, 2013 4:21 AM GMT
    Myol saidI think the names of the people who do this should be included in the articles so that people know who their asshole neighbors are. Being a server doesn't make one less of a person or employee so they shouldn't have to put up with insults of any type, regardless of the reason behind it. If you're going to run up $93 in service and not tip because of your judgement of a person, your name should be known so that you can be judged.


    +1

    How did they know she was a lesbian. Did they ask her? How is that any of their business. It's hilarious how all of these homophobes are so against gays and lesbians but go out of their way to ask. If they returned to the restaurant I would give them absolutely horrible service and piss in their food.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Nov 16, 2013 4:35 AM GMT
    how the heck did they know she was gay? it doesn't matter because its wrong but i just wanted to why assumed she was gay.
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    Nov 16, 2013 9:03 PM GMT
    From the article...

    The Gaily GrindDayna, a former U.S. Marine, wrote to Have a Gay Day, detailing her encounter with the bigoted family:

    NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna – the mom proceeds to look at me and say “oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!”


    Apparently, to some Chridiots, your looks are "Lifestyle" enough.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Nov 16, 2013 9:27 PM GMT
    dayumm saidFrom the article...

    Apparently, to some Chridiots, your looks are "Lifestyle" enough.


    The woman probably was upset that the waitress would influence her kids. After all exposure to a happy well adjusted woman who was not following gender normative stereotypes will turn her kids gay right?
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    Nov 16, 2013 9:29 PM GMT
    Any waiters out there try wearing a wedding band during their shift? I knew a guy once who did that and swore he got better tips.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11819

    Nov 16, 2013 9:33 PM GMT
    .....and the republican leader of the house is holding up the ENDA vote that the senate passed. Injustice compounded.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 16, 2013 10:01 PM GMT
    Any old excuse to stiff waitstaff. Stay home, assholes...icon_evil.gif
  • thatirishbast...

    Posts: 3523

    Nov 16, 2013 10:14 PM GMT
    I've had conservatives ask if I was in the country legally before not tipping.

    Imagine if they knew I was a bisexual, atheist immigrant.
  • Musicman91

    Posts: 1529

    Nov 18, 2013 2:58 AM GMT
    dayumm saidFrom the article...

    The Gaily GrindDayna, a former U.S. Marine, wrote to Have a Gay Day, detailing her encounter with the bigoted family:

    NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna – the mom proceeds to look at me and say “oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!”




    It should be illegal for some people to leave their house.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 18, 2013 6:59 AM GMT
    What I think about the appearance or beliefs of somebody waiting on me in a bar or restaurant has nothing to do with how I treat them. They're working hard in a grossly underpaid profession and my tips are based solely on how well they do. (Plus, I've worked in a restaurant environment and in other customer service jobs and that solidarity is there. icon_wink.gif )

    Pay any attention to the news and you'll learn of the same BS being perpetrated on servers who weren't "blessed" enough to be born Caucasian. icon_mad.gif

    The best defense is to try and make up for the jerks in some small way. A bartender in my neighborhood is "wicked cool." Not only that, I know she doesn't fare as well as she could on tips because she's overweight and not blonde. So last December I added $100 to my tab with a note, "This is not an error. Merry Christmas." icon_smile.gif
  • metta

    Posts: 39089

    Nov 18, 2013 10:23 PM GMT
    Waitress Who Was Stiffed Over Her ‘Lifestyle’ Donates Thousands To Veterans Group

    http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/waitress-who-was-stiffed-over-her-lifestyle-donates-thousands-to-military-support-group/news/2013/11/18/78879
  • madsexy

    Posts: 4843

    Nov 18, 2013 10:48 PM GMT
    Musicman91 said
    Myol saidI think the names of the people who do this should be included in the articles so that people know who their asshole neighbors are. Being a server doesn't make one less of a person or employee so they shouldn't have to put up with insults of any type, regardless of the reason behind it. If you're going to run up $93 in service and not tip because of your judgement of a person, your name should be known so that you can be judged.


    +1

    How did they know she was a lesbian. Did they ask her? How is that any of their business. It's hilarious how all of these homophobes are so against gays and lesbians but go out of their way to ask. If they returned to the restaurant I would give them absolutely horrible service and piss in their food.

    There seems to be an increasing lack of manners or standard of behavior. I'm 30, but some people my age don't seem to have been raised to know what's appropriate and what isn't. Tipping is, by definition, an option, not a requirement. Certainly restaurant owners have made their employees dependent on tips by playing games with wage rates to "assume" a certain tip. But as long as the customer has control of the tip and it's not added to the bill it's an option. There's a huge difference between choosing to "stiff" the server and writing a judgmental justification. If the adults in that family of four who did that had my parents, they'd feel the back of a hand for such hateful behavior.

    As to knowing she was a lesbian, as the article says, the server said that when she gave her name as "Dayna" (which assumably sounds like Dana), they said they thought she was going to say "Dan", clearly signaling they thought she was a man. Now . . . not to judge Dayna, and I certainly empathize with her over her customers' abhorrent behavior vis a vis what they wrote on the bill, I think if it were me, and if I'd heard that from customers, I might have gone to the manager and nicely requested that another server be assigned to the table, just in case it signaled their intolerance. Again, not judging Dayna, but we all live with intolerance all day every day, and it seems like giving some way to those who are ignorant, judgmental and obviously ill-mannered might be better than chancing a positive outcome through influencing their future behavior. And certainly matching bad behavior with worse behavior, as suggested, is just ludicrous, however appealing in anecdote.

    Back to Dayna: YOU GO GIRL!

    Back to society: GROW THE FUCK UP!
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    Nov 18, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    Behemothboi saidI've had people straight up ask me if I was gay then not tip me..


    The proper response is: It is really none of your business but if you would like another server I will happily see to it that you get one.

    Or if you are feeling cheeky: Why are you asking me out? (if it's a man inquiring) or It really doesn't matter does it? You're not my type. (for man or woman inquirer)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 19, 2013 3:47 PM GMT
    metta8 saidWaitress Who Was Stiffed Over Her ‘Lifestyle’ Donates Thousands To Veterans Group

    http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/waitress-who-was-stiffed-over-her-lifestyle-donates-thousands-to-military-support-group/news/2013/11/18/78879


    *salutes waitress* Classy and compassionate gal.
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    Nov 19, 2013 4:07 PM GMT
    Aristoshark saidThe thing these "Christians" don't seem to get is that they aren't tipping her for her sexuality, they are supposed to be tipping for good service.

    These are not good people, as they probably think. They are miserable cheapskates looking for a reason to stiff this gal on her tips.


    A good comparison for me is christianity being like a vehicle, say, a truck. It can be a nasty bigotry-justifying weapon depending entirely on the driver. They also forgot THIS, "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

    ...I'll bet they remember that passage now, lol!
  • hebrewman

    Posts: 1367

    Nov 19, 2013 4:37 PM GMT
    Behemothboi saidI've had people straight up ask me if I was gay then not tip me..


    are you kidding me? they just flat out asked? my god, the temerity of some people. what was your response?