So my boyfriend is versatile and I am strictly a top?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2013 9:08 PM GMT
    Is there any way to get around this? We have been dating for a year and the sex has been EXCELLENT, but I feel bad for not fully sexually pleasing him. He said he doesn't mind and that he wouldn't want to fuck anyone else (I suggested doing a threesome together). I don't really know what to do, I don't enjoy ass play that much. Should I just learn to like it and abide by it for my boyfriend?
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    Nov 15, 2013 10:00 PM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidIs there any way to get around this? We have been dating for a year and the sex has been EXCELLENT, but I feel bad for not fully sexually pleasing him. He said he doesn't mind and that he wouldn't want to fuck anyone else (I suggested doing a threesome together). I don't really know what to do, I don't enjoy ass play that much. Should I just learn to like it and abide by it for my boyfriend?


    You said that your bf doesn't mind and wants to remain exclusive. So enjoy your relationship for what it is and stop asking for a solution when there isn't a problem.
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    Nov 15, 2013 10:12 PM GMT
    If he's happy with the situation, you should be happy. But, to make him happier . . .
    From an older guy's viewpoint - you might do well to keep experimenting periodically. In my sexual career, I have run into a lot of guys who said they once claimed they were total tops, but later on became quite versatile when it came to fucking - after they had more experience. For some, it was denial - they could not admit to themselves that could like another guy to have such power over them, and did not want to feel submissive. From my jaded viewpoint, it's hard to believe that a 21 year old already knows all the things he can be sexually - not impossible, but not likely. On the coasts, guys your age are all doing drugs - like eXstacy (or worse things things like meth, that I could never recommend) that allow one to broaden one's horizons. Or acid, or merely poppers. Maybe you're one of those guys that is incapable of anal pleasure - there are quite a number on Rj say that's the case for them. But you have an awfully long way to go before the end of the road - so you might occasionally experiment to see if you might change. Anyway, you asked.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Nov 15, 2013 11:12 PM GMT
    I don't see the problem here?




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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Nov 15, 2013 11:19 PM GMT
    Thank you everyone for the responses, it is not necessarily a PROBLEM per say but just a concern for my boyfriend's happiness. It sounds like it's fine though, but I was just worried.
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    Nov 16, 2013 4:03 AM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidThank you everyone for the responses, it is not necessarily a PROBLEM per say but just a concern for my boyfriend's happiness. It sounds like it's fine though, but I was just worried.


    you guys should be able to trust each other, and each others words. If he says he's happy with how things are --- believe him. Don't try to fix problems that only exist in your head, guy!
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    Nov 16, 2013 6:39 AM GMT
    Good luck with that
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    Nov 16, 2013 6:47 AM GMT
    Watch out with trying to bottom, you might end up liking it too much and then you'll be fighting over who gets to be the bottom.
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    Nov 16, 2013 7:36 AM GMT
    Maybe he loves you enough where he doesn't mind being a bottom. I mean if he wants to thrust his hips into something you should get him a blow up doll with a picture of your face on it (just teasing).

    Decent guys are hard to find gay or straight -- so if he loves you I'm assuming he's willing to compromise and it's probably not even a compromise if you're a great lover. The fact he doesn't want to sleep with anyone else (threesome) is a testament to how dedicated he is to you! Honor the fact, you're the one that gets his juices flowing.
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    Nov 16, 2013 7:50 AM GMT
    jp_K said
    Nebraskakid467 saidThank you everyone for the responses, it is not necessarily a PROBLEM per say but just a concern for my boyfriend's happiness. It sounds like it's fine though, but I was just worried.


    you guys should be able to trust each other, and each others words. If he says he's happy with how things are --- believe him. Don't try to fix problems that only exist in your head, guy!


    This too. Depending on the arrangement, I would've been offended being offered a threesome. Hopefully he's the one for you, because you seem to be the one for him. Best of luck to both of you; enjoy and appreciate "happiness" and "contentment" -- some people actually get uncomfortable when everything seems to be going right.
  • jo2hotbod

    Posts: 3603

    Nov 16, 2013 4:26 PM GMT
    Let him fuck you
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    Nov 16, 2013 5:43 PM GMT
    Wow thank you 'AnOriginal' for that enlightening comment. I should be happy I found such a dedicated guy (and I sincerely am)! It is just that it seems like there is SUCH an emphasis on sex so I feel like it comprises the majority of a relationship. But you make a whole ton of sense icon_smile.gif
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    Nov 16, 2013 5:53 PM GMT
    Lol I don't think it's compatible! Versatile guys should seek versatile guys. It's not really fun to date/fuck a strict top or bottom unless you're just happy playing that role! Let your bf fuck you, otherwise, he's going to get bored and dumped you for someone else.
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    Nov 16, 2013 6:00 PM GMT
    socalx10 saidLol I don't think it's compatible! Versatile guys should seek versatile guys. It's not really fun to date/fuck a strict top or bottom unless you're just happy playing that role! Let your bf fuck you, otherwise, he's going to get bored and dumped you for someone else.

    See what I mean?! He even told me yesterday that 'it is just sex'. I think I figured out that it's not a big deal.
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    Nov 16, 2013 7:19 PM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidIs there any way to get around this? We have been dating for a year and the sex has been EXCELLENT, but I feel bad for not fully sexually pleasing him. He said he doesn't mind and that he wouldn't want to fuck anyone else (I suggested doing a threesome together). I don't really know what to do, I don't enjoy ass play that much. Should I just learn to like it and abide by it for my boyfriend?


    Relationships are give and take. Continue to acknowledge your partner's desires and do what you can to make whatever efforts you can to bridge the gap.

    I hope that you two can find a "common" ground where neither of you begins to fester any resentment for the other person.
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    Nov 16, 2013 8:06 PM GMT
    I say you should be Willing to compromise if he wants it..this is just my personal opinion seeing as how I've had numerous tops who had boyfriends that were strictly bottom and they had to go elsewhere to get sexual fulfilment. If there is no problem don't try and fix it but don't be afraid to experiment even if only on his bday and Xmas icon_smile.gif good luck man
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    Nov 16, 2013 11:11 PM GMT
    Nebraskakid467 saidWow thank you 'AnOriginal' for that enlightening comment. I should be happy I found such a dedicated guy (and I sincerely am)! It is just that it seems like there is SUCH an emphasis on sex so I feel like it comprises the majority of a relationship.Learn about each other outside of the bedroom too. Some of the sweetest things happen outside of the bedroom. I brought pineapple juice on my first date with my first boyfriend, because it was his favorite. He surprised me with an egg sandwich after the gym one day icon_smile.gif You can find little ways to show him affection. But you make a whole ton of sense icon_smile.gif


    You are more than welcome! icon_smile.gif

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  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Nov 16, 2013 11:15 PM GMT
    doesn't sound like a problem u r a top and ur b/f is now the bottom and he likes it.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Nov 16, 2013 11:16 PM GMT
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