Nov 17, 2013 10:51 PM GMT
November 17 2013
WINTER FRUSTRATIONS or LAZY ASS BIG CITY GAYS
I was on the train back home to Malmo Sweden after a surprisingly nice day at work in Copenhagen. When the train reached Swedish territory and I have internet access I clicked around on all the dozen gay sites and apps I'm on and all of a sudden I saw this older hunky guy in my area that isn't one of those same old boring faces you see every day. Since I have close to photographic memory I realize that this is a guy from the capital with whom I exchanged a few friendly messages many years ago on the Swedish gay website.
"Is it work that brings you down to the south?" was my initiating message to him, because I fucking HATE conversations like this;
"hi. hi. How are you? good u? Good." Retards talk like that.
"In between jobs ... :-)" he replied.
Me: "and during your working trip you're on Grindr because...? :-)"
Him: "available and horny!"
While I was waiting for that last message of his since a few minutes were starting to pass, I tried to find him on Scruff because as you all already know Grindr fucking SUCKS!!! You never know which messages will actually be delivered. Sent him a woof on Scruff. Got a woof almost immediately back. Cool, so he seems to like that one pic of me in the tight lime green spandex shirt.
Me: you look cuddly :-)
Him: Love to cuddle!
Me: Same here. Especially with friendly hunky guys ;-)
He sends me a smiley and 4 pics of him and would you believe it no dick pics. So refreshing. He's so hunky. 6 feet something, unshaven face, a bit droopy eyes, very fit hard looking physique. I send him 4 pics back.
Him: Sexy guy :-) Handsome
Me: thanks :-D How long are you in town for?
Him: Where are you?
So I tell him that I live 5 minutes by train from Malmo central station. He tells me his location which is 10 min by bus in the opposite direction from the central station.
Him: Mmm. Too bad we're not neighbors. Wanna be naked with you :-)
Me: Look at the possibilities. Not the obstacles :-) The logical thing would be that one of us has to move if we're gonna experience some intimacy. The distances are a lot bigger in Stockholm.
Him: True, and tomorrow I'm heading to the states. (the Us of America in case this was unclear to anyone) And I'm thinking; what does that have to do with anything? But I write 'sure' and I give him my number because I'm thinking that maybe we can find out what would be the easiest for us to do right now as I assumed he was staying with a friend or something only temporarily.
Me: You're of course more than welcome to come here. Cuddle and sleep together.
Him: Can't tonight :-((( Want to cuddle and sleep!
Me: What do you mean you can't? You could've told me this right away if you couldn't meet up.
Him: Just came from the city by bike! :-(
Me: that's your excuse? Because you just went biking?
Him: And that I'm going to the states early tomorrow morning
For a few minutes I'm just sitting on my couch looking at that last message of his thinking: are you fucking kidding me with this shit? Not really knowing in what direction I wanted to go I simply just barf:
"Well, yet another chat that was a complete waste of time and false expectations. Being gay is such a delight."
When you're a whack-job like me who's a vegan, tries to keep fit, not polluting his body with drugs or cigarettes or filthy dicks from mediocre gays who are all pudgy and worn out from all the parties and sex and drugs they've been having around the clock since the minute they came out and all of a sudden there's a guy in your shit hole of a town that's fit, muscular, likes to cuddle and apparently find you attractive who's I swear to God less than 30 minutes away from you and then he tells you it's too far away, and he's tired and he gives you all the excuses in the book, then isn't it understandable that you just wanna barf all over him, both verbally and physically and piss all over every single man on the planet? I mean I seem to have a natural tendency to do this all the time but this time it's justified.
So all you guys living in Weedhole Oklahoma (That's a MadTv reference) who always seem to get that "too far away" shit from an a-hole New Yorker visiting your town on business, I just want to say that you're not alone out there with your frustrations. I need to go and do some Yoga now and then I'm gonna whack like there's no tomorrow.