Where does my son's racial preferences come from?

  • curious_minds

    Posts: 8

    Nov 24, 2013 6:30 AM GMT
    On another thread, I brought up my 22 year old son's use of Grindr, and my concerns about it. Another big concern I have is that in his profile, it states "whites +++". First off, our family is Asian; if anything the profile should say "Asians+++"! I'm joking of course, as my son's first boyfriend (around age 17), was Hispanic, and we had no problems with it. Most of his subsequent boyfriends were Asian, hence we were shocked and dismayed to find out that his preferred race isn't his own. How could this be? It certainly wasn't the case 5 years ago.

    Would really appreciate some insights as to what could possibly have happened. We haven't talked to him about this part, and would like to understand the issue a bit more before having such an awkward conversation!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 6:38 AM GMT
    If you want to keep a good relationship with your son, consider minding your own love life and staying out of his love life. He's an adult. You're an adult. Respect each other as adults.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 7:27 AM GMT
    1) Consider minding your own business
    2) Consider a professional counselor for some of your concerns.
    3) Read this article and then find a nice PFLAG group in your home area of Chigago....LOTS of them!



    1466215_803599893002799_1894543552_n.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 11:39 AM GMT
    curious_minds saidOn another thread, I brought up my 22 year old son's use of Grindr, and my concerns about it. Another big concern I have is that in his profile, it states "whites +++". First off, our family is Asian; if anything the profile should say "Asians+++"! I'm joking of course, as my son's first boyfriend (around age 17), was Hispanic, and we had no problems with it. Most of his subsequent boyfriends were Asian, hence we were shocked and dismayed to find out that his preferred race isn't his own. How could this be? It certainly wasn't the case 5 years ago.

    Would really appreciate some insights as to what could possibly have happened. We haven't talked to him about this part, and would like to understand the issue a bit more before having such an awkward conversation!


    If everyone could see everyone's online dating profile, the world would be a different place! What would yours, your neighbour's, your manager's look like?

    Anyone who puts any racial criteria on their profile is a bit misguided in my opinion as it reduces the pool of available partners (people of the undesired race, and people who think setting racial criteria is wrong). It's not like you have to respond to every message anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 12:12 PM GMT
    GAMRican saidIf you want to keep a good relationship with your son, consider minding your own love life and staying out of his love life. He's an adult. You're an adult. Respect each other as adults.

    +1

    And as the OP already stated, his son's racial preferences appear to have already evolved. At 22 they may yet again. Perhaps to the point where race is of no concern at all to him someday.

    And I might also suggest to the OP that his son's racial preference may not really be about race at all, but rather cultural, and the communities some races can represent.

    He may actually like gay Asian guys on most levels, but finds too many of them closeted, reluctant to come out and participate in the gay community. Or maybe their families & friends are hostile to gays. I would have a problem myself if my BF's family & friends refused to meet me, and treated me like an outcast.

    If the son has experienced a lot of that rejection from the larger Asian community he may have now focused on White Anglos, if that group is more friendly in the locale where he lives. Again, he may not be rejecting his Asian heritage, but instead is avoiding the local Asian community hostility to gays he's been experiencing.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 1:51 PM GMT
    curious_minds saidOn another thread, I brought up my 22 year old son's use of Grindr, and my concerns about it. Another big concern I have is that in his profile, it states "whites +++". First off, our family is Asian; if anything the profile should say "Asians+++"! I'm joking of course, as my son's first boyfriend (around age 17), was Hispanic, and we had no problems with it. Most of his subsequent boyfriends were Asian, hence we were shocked and dismayed to find out that his preferred race isn't his own. How could this be? It certainly wasn't the case 5 years ago.

    Would really appreciate some insights as to what could possibly have happened. We haven't talked to him about this part, and would like to understand the issue a bit more before having such an awkward conversation!


    Don't expect too much from a 22 year old.

    I can remember when I was out of high school and before I was 27 years old, I had color blind homosexual hopes.

    What you need is the book:

    Chinese Sexual Astrology by Shelly Wu. Go buy this for you son TODAY.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 2:02 PM GMT
    ASK AMY

    I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual. ... I feel he is doing this just to get back at me for forgetting his birthday (Pause/Beat--as they say in acting) for the past three years.

    ASK STEEFEN

    YOU FORGET THE BIRTHDAY OF A TEENAGE SON? !, probably with gay isolation issues.

    Oh, no. You asked HEAVEN for it.

    Did he scream at you: YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE?
    Second year you forgot: YOU REALLY DON"T LOVE ME ANYMORE.
    Third year: you're a homophobic religious person at a society church? Guess what: I'm Gay and I'm going to put an HRC sticker on my car whenever I have to drive to church.

    You deserve everything that kid dishes out to you--EVERYTHING.

    It's one thing for gay men to have dysfunctional relationships but you're that human being's parent. ZERO TOLERANCE.

    You can divorce your spouse but you MUST not be a dead-beat parent.

    (When I get a chance, I'll read the rest of the article to see if you reveal if you're the mother or the father.)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 2:35 PM GMT
    Okay to answer your question: Why doesn't my son say Asians ++++?

    The only Asian I know of who factors into an Aspirant Homosexual Elite is the Asian man who is the referee sometimes in Naked Kombat porn videos. He also appears in the BoundGods and Men On Edge porn videos.

    Asians are known for two body types: small and thin and Sumo wrestler. Where is the 6'1 205 lbs beefcake among Asian blockbuster movie stars? When we think of Asians, we think of all those little Asians running from Godzilla.

    Study film history, let alone porn film history.

    Come back with at least two high quality Asian gay/bi porn film websites or two gay/bi films with high production values and prove me wrong. I say high production values because people will aspire to lifestyles that have been presented with high production values.

    I can give you Brokeback Mountain. Can you give me Mount Fuji? Brokeback Mountain even has a director of Asian descent but where is the equivalent Asian gay film in the media?

    Go back and take another look at the Men On Edge video clips, you'll have the Asian man putting the White man in bondage but 1% if not 0% involve him putting an Asian man or a Black man into bound Ecstasy. People aspire to Safe Naked Ecstasy. So, since the White man gets the Wealth of Safe Naked Ecstasy and service/help/support in reaching his orgasm (fantasy and play) he's the king of being pleasure sex.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 2:58 PM GMT
    Oh, well, I've gotta go to Church now.

    At Church, we pray that Humanity gets saved from its low-grade tendencies. Even the book Think and Grow Rich speaks of this.

    Low-Grade Humanity is a global crisis. We need a revival!

    Stay respectable.

    Try to get your son to have homosexual relationships that makes him and his sexual partner very honorable men.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 3:08 PM GMT
    I put you on my Hot List and I'm voting you Man of the Day for loving your son. My father died last December 28th, so he can't help me the way he used to. I'm going to remember you and your son during prayer time in church today.

    Did you see Mel Gibson's Apocalypto? It's a great movie. One sees Great Father-Son love in that movie.

    Love,
    StephenOABC

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 3:14 PM GMT
    StephenOABC saidASK AMY

    I recently discovered that my son, who is 17, is a homosexual. ... I feel he is doing this just to get back at me for forgetting his birthday (Pause/Beat--as they say in acting) for the past three years.

    ASK STEEFEN

    YOU FORGET THE BIRTHDAY OF A TEENAGE SON? !



    Did he key your car with the metal garbage can when putting the trash out?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 7:00 PM GMT
    Holy shit Stephen, you're a nut case!!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 24, 2013 7:35 PM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHoly shit Stephen, you're a nut case!!!


    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 25, 2013 1:39 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHoly shit Stephen, you're a nut case!!!


    I have redeeming values.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 25, 2013 1:40 AM GMT
    StephenOABC said
    jmusmc85 saidHoly shit Stephen, you're a nut case!!!


    I have redeeming values.


    Hey, StrokeMe220.

    I have redeeming values.

    +1
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 25, 2013 6:38 AM GMT
    the fuq...

    OP must have been scared away from the site now lol
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 25, 2013 1:40 PM GMT
    Man, the deadline on my new play submission must be getting to me, along with being a contract worker without paid holidays--so Thursday and Friday means I'm going to have a small paycheck the following Friday. And I don't have a live-in domestic partner to help financially.

    But, I've gotta keep searching for the man who will go to the wonderful gym I belong to, a man who will go to the movies and Barnes & Noble and share an Izze with me.

    I finally got a car after not needing one for 26 years in NY, but it's still hard to fill my home with loving, supportive men: one or two men to be my inner circle, and then eight or so men for monthly dinner parties.

    Maybe I have to try to date guys who don't have a car, they'll ride with me to the mall and to the gym.

    How can I trust them if they don't go to church with me and earn the love of my family members and relatives?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 25, 2013 2:18 PM GMT
    ^^^
    Youre-Crazy-Reaction-Gif.gif
  • no1timehookup...

    Posts: 208

    Nov 26, 2013 2:56 AM GMT
    Asians have small penis while other races have big penis. Wait until he starts liking African Americans, "GIGANTIC" penis. icon_eek.gif
  • curious_minds

    Posts: 8

    Nov 26, 2013 3:43 AM GMT
    ART_DECO said
    GAMRican saidIf you want to keep a good relationship with your son, consider minding your own love life and staying out of his love life. He's an adult. You're an adult. Respect each other as adults.

    +1

    And as the OP already stated, his son's racial preferences appear to have already evolved. At 22 they may yet again. Perhaps to the point where race is of no concern at all to him someday.

    And I might also suggest to the OP that his son's racial preference may not really be about race at all, but rather cultural, and the communities some races can represent.

    He may actually like gay Asian guys on most levels, but finds too many of them closeted, reluctant to come out and participate in the gay community. Or maybe their families & friends are hostile to gays. I would have a problem myself if my BF's family & friends refused to meet me, and treated me like an outcast.

    If the son has experienced a lot of that rejection from the larger Asian community he may have now focused on White Anglos, if that group is more friendly in the locale where he lives. Again, he may not be rejecting his Asian heritage, but instead is avoiding the local Asian community hostility to gays he's been experiencing.


    Thanks for replying. I'm not convinced it is related to family acceptance however, because I think most of his relationships haven't lasted long enough for him to have met the other parents yet. And we've always emphasized how supportive we will be, despite possible issues from the other family. It just seems very strange that, coming from a progressive family such as ours, that he suddenly prefers white people.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2013 3:52 AM GMT
    venue35 saidMy dad never got me a copy of chinese sexual astrology by shelly wu...


    If you're really 36, you may have been born in the year of the Fire Snake.

    Fire nourishes Earth
    Earth nourishes Metal
    Metal nourishes Water
    Water nourishes Wood
    Wood nourishes Fire
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2013 4:39 AM GMT
    curious_minds saidThanks for replying. I'm not convinced it is related to family acceptance however, because I think most of his relationships haven't lasted long enough for him to have met the other parents yet. And we've always emphasized how supportive we will be, despite possible issues from the other family. It just seems very strange that, coming from a progressive family such as ours, that he suddenly prefers white people.


    If your son is like a lot of young gay Asians who hang out in the village, watch porn, and have a lot of exposure to gay culture, chances are he is turning into a potato queen. The gay community and media actively puts white guys on a pedestal. "Preferences" that didn't previously exist will develop with nurture. I'm surprised no one has mentioned this already, since it's such a common theme in the forums.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2013 5:08 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidHoly shit Stephen, you're a nut case!!!


    LOL you just worked that out? icon_neutral.gificon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2013 11:17 AM GMT
    GAMRican saidIf you want to keep a good relationship with your son, consider minding your own love life and staying out of his love life. He's an adult. You're an adult. Respect each other as adults.


    +1 ^^ listen to this wise guy OP! ...urg who care, your son can date whoever make him happy! icon_biggrin.gif

    I'd like to add that people's taste or preference or whatever change around from time to time (at least for me). When I first came out in my 20s, I went out/dated Taiwanese/Asian guys, then I had my moment with Latino and Black/mixed guys. Lately, I like white/Euro and Irish guys! I think it's the whole boy band craze (the Wanted) that made me this way at the moment! hahaha.icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Nov 26, 2013 12:47 PM GMT
    Curious_Minds:
    Another big concern I have is that in his profile, it states "whites +++".

    StephenOABC:

    What does that make of the White Man's sex fountain?

    segregation-drinking-fountain.jpg


    What does that make of your son's body-sexual?

    segregation-drinking-fountain.jpg

    Make him a t-shirt with the image above. Where it says Colored, make it Colored and Asian.

    He should get the point and grow his compassion.

    Tell him you'll bring him to Disney Land to hear "It's a Small World After All."

    On the other hand, if a minority goes into a 98% White Bi/Gay establishment, it does make sense for the minority to wish to be part of the gathering.