I am going to slap the hell out of my own mother!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Dec 06, 2008 6:44 AM GMT
    I just got off the phone with her and my blood is boiling. She bought one of those stupid usb phone jacks off of an infomercial for her home PC. The woman has no idea why but since connecting that usb phone jack the damn computer is saying it can't connect to the internet. She already has a cell phone! I have no idea why on Earth she feels the need to have a home phone. I'm trying to help her trouble shoot her computer over the phone and she is telling me she's going to find some shop to service her computer. I'm like WTF!!! Do not do that mom they are just going to take advantage of you because you don't know any better. It has been 2 years since I was last home. I can't begin to imagine what bull shit applications my family has downloaded to the computer. I'm going to try to talk my mom through reformatting the computer. It's about 3 years old so it's about time I'd say. I just pray to God that my mom doesn't send me into a panic attack with her computer illiteracy. You know all those bogus popups that tell you your computer has a virus so click ok to remove it. My mom clicks on every last one of those. I try so hard to educate her but the woman is impossible icon_evil.gif Luckily my dad is scared to use computers so I don't have to worry about him fucking it up. Ughhh I need some patron right now.
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    Dec 06, 2008 8:21 AM GMT
    Well I just wasted an hour of my life trying to help my mom. Power cycling the modem didn't reestablish her internet connection and neither did restarting the computer twice. She couldn't find the OS disk so I couldn't do a reformat of the computer w/ her. I'm no computer nerd but damn it I'm phukn bill gates compared to my mom. From the sounds of it her computer is moving like shit. I still think they have tons of unnecessary applications and prob a shit load of spy ware bogging their computer down. I told my mom screw it just buy a new damn computer or she can pay to get the computer looked at but I guarantee they are just going to reformat the computer cuz God knows what apps are on there. Either way though new computer or pay to get it looked at it's going to be a waste of money. My mom hardly gets Windows XP. Vista will be like neural surgery for her. Mac wouldn't be any better for her cuz she doesn't really have a basic understanding of either. This is so frustrating.
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    Dec 06, 2008 8:30 AM GMT
    Dude - grow a set and help your Mom. Maybe she doesn't know what she's doing but at least she is trying...
  • Koaa2

    Posts: 1556

    Dec 06, 2008 11:49 AM GMT
    My Mom was sort of like this, I encouraged her to take some free classes in her hometown, seemed to help a little. I lost my Mom, about 1.5 years ago, wish she was back causing the confusion. Don't be to hard on her, she won't be around forever.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Dec 06, 2008 12:54 PM GMT
    lol .... I know what you mean

    I get calls in the middle of the night from my parents asking me why their printer doesn't work
    I'll ask ... Is there paper in it?
    and one will get back on the phone

    Oh now it's working .... thanx icon_rolleyes.gif

    My Mom's cellphone voice mail for the first week said

    {silence for the first few seconds} and then ... This thing isn't working I don't know wha.... BEEP
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    Dec 06, 2008 1:43 PM GMT
    Buy the Magic Jack USB phone connector with caution. It was tried and wound up competing with existing software for memory. The result was that the hard disk had to be reformatted to clean the registry. I still plan to use it, but with a netbook dedicated to nothing else.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 06, 2008 2:05 PM GMT
    I get calls from my parents all the time about the computer and printer that I gave them. I even put in the 'favorites' area most of the web sites that they like to visit, but I still find myself printing out recipes from shows that they have watched!! They are just a little intimidated about technology.
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    Dec 06, 2008 4:41 PM GMT
    You're an asshole. I can't believe you would even imply slapping your mother just because she is computer illiterate. Maybe if you didn't barf a ship load of garbage every time you opened your mouth she might begin to understand what you are trying to tell her about computers. She's your MOM.
  • cowboyathlete

    Posts: 1346

    Dec 06, 2008 4:42 PM GMT
    ORDude saidDude - grow a set and help your Mom. Maybe she doesn't know what she's doing but at least she is trying...
    OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO touche!
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    Dec 06, 2008 4:45 PM GMT
    I will put red hand prints all over your little face!

    I doubt anyone will get that
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    Dec 06, 2008 4:52 PM GMT
    Wow, I hope you never actually have an issue with her that actually has substance.
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    Dec 06, 2008 5:14 PM GMT
    sorry, I can totally relate to the OP. My parents used to be like this as well. I'm a mac guy and they were on PCs but I knew enough to be dangerous. My mother is particularly dangerous around computers. She once deleted all her applications because she thought they were alias's.

    My advice: buy your mom a "PC for Dummies" book and have her read it.

    I switched both my parents to Macs for my ease and bought them a book about Mac and the latest operating system. My mom read the entire damn book and is now an 'expert' and is now trying to tell me about features that I've known about for years. but I'm excited she's excited and learning. And now she wonders why she stayed PC for so long.

    So have hope Slapaho. there are solutions. And just remember - we all want to slap our mothers at one point or another.
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    Dec 06, 2008 5:23 PM GMT
    Your mother's computer Internet communication settings may have been altered by this new program's software. I've seen that happen before. Too complex for me to do this through a third party, but she may need someone with a higher degree of computer knowledge to come in to redo the settings.

    And, as someone has also said here, this new software may have fatal conflicts with her computer, anyway, and needs to be removed.

    I'm proud that my partner manages pretty well on a computer for someone who came late to them (I just got him a brand new MacBook Pro notebook 3 weeks ago, but running Windows cause that's what he knows, while I'll use its Mac OS if I borrow it). But he does have a maddening tendency to screw things up that sometimes take me hours to fix.

    Your mother needs your support, not your scorn. Be proud she can use a computer at all, and wants to, and do what you can to point her in the right direction for fixing this.
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    Dec 06, 2008 5:26 PM GMT
    Slapaho - Get a clue and be patient.

    Growingmusc -- Get a clue and DO NOT move to San Fran if you don't trust lesbians. WTF!!!!
  • coolarmydude

    Posts: 9190

    Dec 06, 2008 5:33 PM GMT
    How funny. The thread was started by slap-a-ho-18 and he's talking about slapping his mother.

    Is your mother a -ho-? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Dec 06, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    Aww come on man ! Learn to be patient.
    Like one of the other posters I'm a Mac guy and my parents
    are PC people. They are constantly calling me to ask my help
    with some problem they're having with their computer.
    I suggested they get a Mac....even got my Dad one.
    Well...he forgot his password...wasn't willing to buy
    the programs he wanted for it. He hated it So in the end.....
    it was all the MAC's fault. Now he has 2 PC ( one laptop one desktop.)
    2 internet providers ( don't ask ! ) and is calling me to ask
    how to remove some of the programs that come with the
    computer so that he can add the ones he likes. ( I smell danger ! )
    My cousin is apart of Best Buys Geek Squad. He'll be here
    in a few weeks to help them out. I've been giving him a heads
    up on what to expect. Dad doesn't like being wrong. He IS a Dad
    after all right ? LOL ! So he's stubborn as a mule and Mom is afraid
    of the machine. So she will do anything her PC asks her to do.
    ( and they DO ask a lot of questions. ) So her computer is a mess.
    In the end I realize that they are from a different era and view
    things differently than myself. ( Computers can do EVERYTHING
    right ? ) I learn a lot about them while offering my assistance.
    While it can be frustrating..it does give me a deeper glimpse
    of who they are deep down. They still have that naive inner child
    deep down. The secret is to get them to recognize that and engage
    it with the curiosity they would have had as kids. Doesn't always
    work....but you have to be patient. They were patient with you.
    Now it's time to return the favor

  • Klutch84

    Posts: 286

    Dec 06, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
    To the OP: Dude, you are fine as hell but you still need to count your blessings. Your situation could be a lot worse or she could no longer be with us. If your mother being computer illiterate and not even close to tech savvy is the worst of your problems then you REALLY have a great life. Wanna swittch?
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    Dec 06, 2008 6:01 PM GMT
    You should apologize to everyone here for saying that you will slap your mom......and then be nice to her and get a sense of humor. Everyone knows that computer problems are maddening so I understand your frustration, but TAKE BACK what you said about your mom.

    Or you will get backhanded slapped.
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    Dec 06, 2008 6:10 PM GMT
    I'd love to help my mother with the computer. Unfortunately, that opportunity will never come along since she died more than 10 years ago.

    One of the most satisfying work experiences I've ever had was training older employees to use computers to do jobs they had been doing by hand for many years. They were intimidated, and worried about losing their jobs. But it was really amazing how quickly they learned when approached with patience and understanding.
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    Dec 06, 2008 6:54 PM GMT
    For those of you who think I would actually raise a hand to my mother, I want you to slap yourself. Clearly my narcissistic satire is wasted on your simple minds. It was purely jokes but I guess I should stick to knock knocks if I am to entertain you thin skinned Nancies. My mother and I have a solid relationship. We make idle threats to one another and both of us find it funny. She regularly tells me she's going to buy me a brand new corvette as a high school graduation gift. Uhhhh I graduated high school in 97 and I drive a Maxima I purchased myself. Lol I tell her don't ever get old cuz if my siblings don't put her in a home I will hahaha. Don't be jealous if your mom isn't as cool as mine. Even though my mom sucks at computers she's still the best icon_razz.gif
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    Dec 06, 2008 7:01 PM GMT
    GQjock saidlol .... I know what you mean

    I get calls in the middle of the night from my parents asking me why their printer doesn't work
    I'll ask ... Is there paper in it?
    and one will get back on the phone

    Oh now it's working .... thanx icon_rolleyes.gif

    My Mom's cellphone voice mail for the first week said

    {silence for the first few seconds} and then ... This thing isn't working I don't know wha.... BEEP


    LMAO! That's awesome. I some times wonder how my mom ever figured out her cell phone. I'm pretty sure it was my brother and sisters that figured it out for her.
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 06, 2008 7:03 PM GMT
    I am glad to hear that you and your Mom have such a great relationship! Your Mom sounds awesome.
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    Dec 06, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    Is your Mom a ho? Because the username and the intent of the post are awfully suspicious.

    I think frustrations with Mom are best shared with siblings and close friends. The one time I insulted my Mom behind her back to people who didn't know her I had a sick feeling in my tummy for long while after. I haven't done it since.

    So...anyone pulling for Florida and/or Mizzou this weekend?
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    Dec 06, 2008 7:04 PM GMT
    coolarmydude saidHow funny. The thread was started by slap-a-ho-18 and he's talking about slapping his mother.

    Is your mother a -ho-? icon_rolleyes.gif


    Ahhh good one... Being slapped by me however does not make you a ho. If you get slapped by me it could be cuz you looked at me wrong or perhaps you are a grunt... There is a meriad of legitimate reasons why one may catch a swift back hand from me lol icon_wink.gif
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Dec 06, 2008 7:09 PM GMT
    XRuggerATX saidIs your Mom a ho? Because the username and the intent of the post are awfully suspicious.

    I think frustrations with Mom are best shared with siblings and close friends. The one time I insulted my Mom behind her back to people who didn't know her I had a sick feeling in my tummy for long while after. I haven't done it since.

    So...anyone pulling for Florida and/or Mizzou this weekend?


    I am rooting for Florida! I should root for Mizzou too because I had a cousin who went there. It is a long shot, but how about a Florida/Texas showdown?